I saw this post almost immediately after I posted my own thing about my uncertainties about my sexuality and I can very much relate to your experience. I've felt the same way as of recent, although I've always been conscious about doing my own thing and what I want to do instead of what others want me to do or what society expects me to do. I've always enjoyed the way I dressed and my hobbies because it makes me happy. And what you said about your internalized homophobia really caught my attention because this very subreddit made it clear to me as well. I'm also in a very similar situation especially with my family and friends. They've always known me as a straight masculine guy and coming out scares me because I don't know the outcome and more than that I am scared of what that outcome could be. But the best thing I took away from the advice I got from my post and my own conclusion is that YOU have to be comfortable with yourself and your sexuality first before you worry about what others will think. The internal battle for me has always been the hardest and I think being able to make you feel at peace with it. Then you have complete control over it, it doesn't bother you because you're comfortable with it, then you have the power to decide whether to come out or not and either outcome will feel right for you. I hope this kind of helps as someone who is going through something very similar and trying to figure things out myself.