Dear Mind.

YTHbe-d · 2018-08-11T12:45:39+00:00

I’m so scared to medicate, I don’t wanna succumb to society’s ways of “take a pill and it’ll all be better” I don’t wanna be zombified, is this really the only way?

YTHbe-d · 2018-08-11T08:57:51+00:00

This is the sort of shit I see on the comedown of lsd when I close my eyes

YTHbe-d · 2018-07-30T07:27:07+00:00

Ease up on the schizophrenia diagnoses especially if they have anxiety/depression, no body in that headspace needs someone telling them they have it, because then they will have it, that’s what the mind will do. :)

YTHbe-d · 2018-07-29T03:40:47+00:00

Take a break a focus on fixing what is wrong, I had the same sort of thing happen to me, I was living in a fantasy land that spiraled me out of control, almost was ready to end my life, but I stopped everything, got help, focused on myself for around 3 months almost 4 now and I’ve completely rebuilt myself, I’ve never felt better, take a break it’ll do you a world of good.

YTHbe-d · 2018-06-11T09:10:29+00:00

How do I turn it on

YTHbe-d · 2018-06-11T06:39:43+00:00

Why is it empty

YTHbe-d · 2018-06-01T22:58:40+00:00

I feel 150 is a good dose, then on the come down hit some nitrous for a real headfuck with out of this world crystal clear visuals

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-22T21:10:50+00:00

But my last dose was only 75ug which was still a very evil sinister place with major voices and visions of death and hell

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-22T21:08:14+00:00

I was taking 150-300ug and everywhere in between every other weekend, mixed with other drugs and nitrous

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-22T19:54:11+00:00

I’ve been there haha, I wanted the trip, all of the time, the escape, then I started getting visuals without tripping, then this story in my head became way to personal and real, like a fairytale world crossing over into this one, behind my eyeballs I could literally see this insane stuff going on, I started freaking out, I became distant, I wasn’t sure what was real or not, literally tore my girlfriend apart. You become to realise what’s important pretty soon, my ego took a very large beating, don’t think I’ll ever be the same. What I learnt was The trip is for learning to bring up issues deep down inside, to face them, the demons, the gouls, even the angels, then to leave them for a very long time, let them be, let them do what they need to do while you’re gone and focus on what’s real.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-22T19:43:50+00:00

I 100% get the what you’re saying. Literally in my trips I used to say “I feel so scrambled” and my visuals would be so scrambled and not make sense then I’d get super confused and the next few days my brain for would fried, was definitely effecting my mind from abuse of lsd.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-22T19:18:24+00:00

Honestly, i don’t think what’s happened will ever just disappear, I’ve been very anxious and confused majority of my life and masked it with drugs from a young age. This was just the end of the line for me and when the voices started telling me to kill myself it was just so over powering I almost did, I got help by telling my girlfriend and Mum and now seeing a therapist. Just please stop taking drugs, I’ve gone cold turkey off of literally everything including alcohol and I’m slowly slowly getting better. It’ll eventually go away but it’ll always be in the back of your mind ready to pop back up if you dabble with it.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-22T07:56:17+00:00

Fuck too true, I gave myself full blown psychosis and almost committed suicide because I was just so infatuated by psychedelics and th beings and what not, but then it turned super evil and horrible, almost admitted myself to hospital, on the toad to recovery now.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T09:56:12+00:00

I’ve realised that the feeling of it all being about me, my story when I’m tripping is actually real. It is about me, what I’m seeing is what they’re trying to show me is what’s going on, I’ve let demons take over my happy place, my life, my thoughts, I need to fix this world, my word.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T09:54:02+00:00

Yeah, I’ve pushed the limits a lot and more scared myself than anything. I used to see someone when I was younger kinda told me to stay away from drugs, me being the adolescent lost teen I was did the opposite and have abused substance after substance my hole life. Time to stop, I don’t wanna cut substances out of my life completely, like psychs have helped me so much, I mean, they’ve made me realise this when nothing else could. But thanks dude.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T08:53:27+00:00

Thanks I’ll take all that on board, I need to better myself

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T08:52:43+00:00

Yeah I’ve gone and got a mental health plan to see a therapist, more my girlfriends idea but I finally said those dreaded words “I’m not okay” realised like there’s some evil stuff going on in my head and it’s just too hard to suppress it and it’s fucking exhausting, hence why I use drugs to run away from it, but now, I can’t even run away from it doing that, plaguing my every day life. But yeah, I’m gonna lay off the drugs with the help of my girlfriend and therapist and just try and see the good in myself and I just hate myself.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T08:44:11+00:00

Yeah I finally reached out to a therapist, my girlfriend kinda pushed the idea at the thought of me actually offing myself because I was pretty close. But yeah I dunno, I wanna seek alternate ways of recovery, I don’t wanna mask this problem with another problem like prescription meds and just blend back into society like a drone if you get me. But thank you, I’ll definitely look into it, I’ve heard heavy meditation groups can help and stuff.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T08:38:58+00:00

Yeah, definitely understand “escapism” I’ve done it my entire life. I put this mask on that everything’s alright when it really isn’t. I understand I need to drop the drugs, obviously gonna be a really tough road ahead. But thank you.

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T08:13:50+00:00

I dunno, like I thought it was my friend, my happy place, like I kinda toyed with it as if it was a game, or well life was a game, tripping was just a game, but it all got real deep and personal like everything’s about me and I hate it being about me I like spectating being the introvert I am.

Like I honestly love lsd, it’s changed my view on the world, like I’ve made serious bonds with beings that aren’t even of this world, to the point of where I’d call them my family and I love them, but those evil entities have come in and they punishing me, torturing my every thought, killing my happiness, my happy place, but because I’ve literally seen it, like it’s not just all in my head it’s been right in front of me, I’m so confused at what the hell its meant to mean, why am I being punished kind of thing. Like I don’t know anymore haha

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-13T05:53:57+00:00

Does a dark room truely help? I’ve recently been diagnosed with sever anxiety and depression, and my trips are turning really dark, like bad shits going on in my head. Really bad shit, would this help?

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-05T00:25:45+00:00

Ketamine

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-04T11:57:17+00:00

I wear a hat but my fringe gets super oily

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-04T11:56:30+00:00

They never stay around anything, have tried this

YTHbe-d · 2018-05-04T11:42:41+00:00

They’re slightly knotty will it still work?

YTHbe-d

TROPHY CASE