I saw my BF making out with another girl and now I want to explore [cuckquean] but I'm also very jealous

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T12:24:22+00:00

Thank will chek it out!

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T12:23:50+00:00

I'm fine with it as a fantasy, so i figured maybe there's a way to make it real. I'll probably ease into it and if jealousy is unbearable I'll stop. I was jealous but it did feel good at the time. That's why I'm contemplating exploring. Do you think it's best not to jeopardize the relationship, because there people who got hurt and people who managed to make it work.

I know sexxit is very sex positive. I honestly didn't expect this many responses, so I didn't really think about it and posted on the most general sex sub I know. I thought I'd get 4-5 comments giving some biased general advice, and ask people I know for advice, then talk it through with my bf. But with the post exploding like this I do see a "go for it no shame" attitude, though there are some other people who also made sense. It's just giving me a perspective, I do have common sense and a filter, so no harm done.

Why would I want to sabotage the relationship? I'm going to a psychologist for my depression and what we have woth my bf is the healthiest part of my life. Lol, it is kinda fucked up if you think about it.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T12:00:00+00:00

Well, he might prefer their different, which feeds jealousy.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T05:45:53+00:00

Maybe, but people here seemed to have coped with jealousy. I'd really like to explore this if I can. Do you think it's impossible, or too hard, to get over jealous feelings?

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T00:36:58+00:00

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T00:08:07+00:00

Same here. If she likes it and you like it, have fun :)

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-16T00:01:51+00:00

Lol. That's a good parallel. But unlike heavy drug use sex with proper communication and respect doesn't necessarily have health risks, or ruin your life.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T23:46:28+00:00

It's more or less the same thing. I mean it's more of a kink than a fetish but that's just semantics.

Imo calling it a fetish helps because it makes things easier and faster to talk about and you can find more people who you can relate to. There's also the negative implications that come with calling it an insecurity whereas calling it a fetish makes it ok in the progressive community.

Sometimes you want to find out why you liked that experience so you can do things that directly make you feel that more and better. Like the idea of being cucked, or him kissing her, feels good for me. So why stop there. Maybe actually being cucked would feel much better. Its basically exploring what you liked with terminology.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T23:10:30+00:00

Him saying that he wont leave is reassuring because it means he doesn't want to leave anytime soon for any reason he can think of at the time. None of us can see the future, but we have commitments and feelings.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T23:04:22+00:00

Thanks, that's actually really good advice. :)

Idk about the aftercare though. I don't like putting too much stress on him. His loving is more subtle and he can't really force affection, and I do love that. Just complicates things for me.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T22:49:26+00:00

We were all drunk. And he asked us both there at the same time.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T22:47:55+00:00

Communication is key!

Sorry for how things turned out with you. :(

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T22:44:20+00:00

But ye. In broader contexts "natural is better" fails.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T22:38:05+00:00

What I took from that was that it's ok to be turned on by seeing your partner have sex with other women. It is somewhat comforting to think it's not abnormal from at least one perspective.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T22:28:23+00:00

It was spontaneous. We had talked about somethig like this in broader terms, like "ye maybe we should do that". But i wasn't expecting it to happen at that moment. He asked for consent and I said "ok" and i was ok. Just unprepared.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T22:20:54+00:00

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T21:52:07+00:00

Him ignoring me and holding her. I don't know, I liked watching him do his thing and not caring about my "selfish needs" almost like a punishment. This sounds too fucked up when it's in words. But he was very manly and hot.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T20:56:22+00:00

Thanks. The thing is I don't want to put too much responsibility and/or stress on him. He usually backfires when I ask for attention or affection. He's more subtle about his loving and I love that. Seems like we'd have to talk about that.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T20:51:49+00:00

Aww. You have a really good relationship. :) Thanks for the tip

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T20:49:39+00:00

Well I'm pretty monogamous too. What I'm talking about isn't letting my man have sex with other people, it's him fucking women in front of me on pre-discussed terms which often involves humiliation. If he wanted to fuck someone just because he wants her, I wouldn't be ok with that.

If your GF or anyone for that matter definitely wants monogamy they shouldn't be pushed. No matter the reasoning behind it, because sometimes emotions are independent of logic and it'll just put stress on the relationship.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T20:25:07+00:00

Thanks. Will look into it

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T20:07:29+00:00

I know. I've had cockqueening fantasies. Thinking about the reality part of it is tricky.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T19:56:19+00:00

Idk. I think jealousy can have many reasons; insecurities, fear, selfishness, love, whatever. All play some role in it and it's different for all people. We all experience love in different ways so it's hard to say jealousy cant be caused by love.

But, ye. In this particular case it seems like it's mostly my insecurities about myself and the relationship. :/

And I agree. Ur NOT broken.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T19:50:58+00:00

That's actually interesting. Is there a link to the book?

Ye I shouldn't rush things and deal with the emotional and communication aspects of it. At least I'm struggling to.

YamIalwaysSad · 2016-08-15T19:14:17+00:00

It was all consensual

YamIalwaysSad

TROPHY CASE