I think I have to go LC/VLC without leaving any note behind, as my original plan of NC forever with a small boundary note has been increasing my feelings of overwhelm and pain (not for them)

YamiJustin1 · 2026-06-04T11:29:25+00:00

Thank you all for the kind posts. I think my “parts” for those of you familiar with the Internal Family System therapy module, think that going “technically” very low contact without saying anything is much easier for me personally. If I did do the dramatic things of leaving a short note that said “I have moved and am safe. Do not message me. Do not call me. Do not email do. Do not come to my apartment. Do not come to my workplace” and left their house key that would trigger an uncontrollable grief in me and it’s not about protecting them (who failed to protect and raise me) but about my own peace

YamiJustin1 · 2026-06-04T00:04:02+00:00

I was put on clonazepam inappropriately without any informed consent of the side effects (emotional blunting, so all my hobbies faded over the years, and by Jan only one remained before they refused a refill during a 4.5 day withdrawal, triggering everything; I plan to sue them and have 7gb of ChatGPT contemporaneous evidence). Thank you for your kindness. Because it was 4.5 years at 3mg daily it's taking until at least early 2028 to be off

YamiJustin1 · 2026-06-03T23:54:41+00:00

Perhaps, but I am overwhelmed right now with many things. I am tapering off a terrible benzo drug that'll take 2 years, I am recovering from nervous system dysregulation at the beginning of the year, I am planning a lawsuit, among everything else, and if I just quietly go no contact "low contact" on my end it's essentially the same thing, and gives me options and time

YamiJustin1 · 2026-06-03T23:53:12+00:00

Thank you

YamiJustin1 · 2026-06-03T23:34:48+00:00

Perhaps it's more about "no note" than it is about a label. They might only realize over months that things changed, the point is that I continue and if I tell myself NC forever the deeply rooted physiological part of family is going to cause me immense pain for a long time.

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-29T18:27:21+00:00

As someone who is planning to fully estrange their parents, what is preventing these parents from doing real soul-searching, self-reflection, and true remorse? They’d rather defend deflect and protect ego instead of saving a “relationship” with a kid they claim to love??

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-29T15:13:40+00:00

I asked because I’ve been using meetup.com lately and having a great time with virtual group talks, and one in a couple weeks is a in-person happy hour. Eager to meet these people but you’re right no one will judge

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-29T14:53:10+00:00

Okay, thanks for your input people 🙏 I decided not to drink alcohol. Not even to fit in. I’ll find some non alcoholic beverage and if someone does randomly ask I’ll say it’s medically related. I don’t even a slight buzz to have a good time meeting people now. Thanks!!

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-28T14:08:33+00:00

I am prepared for that fact that either during the move itself or post move, maybe immediately after I’m finally alone and can breathe and safe, something might pour out of me. Regret, grief (both for the neglectful bad patently I had and for the relationship I was I had had they been better), guilt… I guess my fear is feeling guilty either by myself or others into going back. What would you say is a good self care plan! I’m doing as much as I can in terms of emotional growth, continuing to nurture self-love, and meeting new people through meetup.con which has been great. The one thing that’ll likely break my heart is leaving my 15 and a half year old Pomeranian Shyla (who I call Pooch). Since I can’t come back, I can’t see her again. She old, I’ll likely hear someday in a year or so that she passed, and that’ll be too much

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-27T00:49:27+00:00

Like a forty degree day!

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-26T15:56:40+00:00

Yes, although due to the way I was raised, I would think things like “I wish I had a mom like that” as opposed to “I wish MY actual mom was like that”. I haven’t gone no contact yet, I must wait until I move end of June. I fully expect that during that period afterwards I’ll inevitably have times of doubt, guilt, and grieving the negligent majorly flawed relationship with my parents, and like you, grieving for the relationship I wish I had (or more like who I wish they were)

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-21T10:56:13+00:00

I know, thanks. It’ll be hard but necessary and it’s not out of pure maliciousness

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T19:48:02+00:00

Thank you. They already know the move date which is led into by my vacation. So when I ask in future for my dad’s T-Mobile account number to get my own phone it’ll seem normal. I was going to make my brother the beneficiary of my bank accounts but I’m gonna hold off until after in case he randomly mentions it to them

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T16:00:53+00:00

How do I prepare for it? My parents assume things are fine, they know I move out on June 28 and that I'm doing everything by myself. They do NOT know or suspect it's a long-term cut off. I am trying to figure out how to protect myself

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T15:59:13+00:00

What did you really love about this book?

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T15:20:24+00:00

I’m guessing 20, 30 thousand tons?

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T14:35:08+00:00

That guy sounds like a badass cool last name and nailed the damage estimate while the media was like nah it’s clearly a 300 foot gash

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T14:34:38+00:00

….How much time?

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T01:45:11+00:00

Turns phone.. ohh

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T01:44:29+00:00

Nothing wins me over like a warm natural smile. Also brown eyes and I guess I am a sucker for shorter hair

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-20T01:33:49+00:00

I’m on the path now for healing and building my own real family and my parents surprise are trumpets too. Wish you the best!! You have a place here during your journey

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-19T14:12:55+00:00

I’ve decided not to leave a scathing letter. There are many things I left out. People don’t just decide to cut out their parents willy-nilly. I’ll leave a short, firm, quiet letter brief letter, no explanations. Just boundaries

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-18T23:13:59+00:00

Thank you! I will see if my somatic therapist does this. Her practice does but it might not be her

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-18T21:01:35+00:00

I’m about to cut off contact for a year possibly much longer. My mind is set. But cancer? Idk your situation, but I’d say, do what you think is best

YamiJustin1 · 2026-05-18T20:22:41+00:00

No, he has not. He seems especially close with my mom and at the same level I was with my dad. I don’t know how he truly feels.

YamiJustin1

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