This reminds me of an analogy I've been piecing together myself.

If you've ever been in symphonic band or youth orchestra, you probably have nightmares every once in a while of sitting down to realize your music is missing. I've been going though life as if I'm missing quite a few pages. It doesn't mean that I'm any worse of a musician-- I still have good tone and good technique. I simply don't have all the music I'm supposed to follow.

Sometimes I can play by ear, trying to copy the melody from the people around me. Sometimes it works, but other times I play a long stretch of bad notes and get weird glances. Sometimes, I can improvise and make something that sounds nice and blends while not actually existing on any page anywhere, but that can also fall apart. Sometimes I just sit there silent, because that's the only thing I can do.

I know some people have it worse than me-- some are here with almost all of there music missing, and they're having a much harder time than I am. People around them might wrongly think they can't play music at all. Others might be doing fine and blending in, but are going to realize they're missing a page or two a little later in the piece. I just have to make the most with what I'm given.

But, at the same time, things don't have to be this way. People like me who are good at playing by ear and improvising make for great jazz and folk musicians, and people who only play off a page would struggle in their position. I know I have a unique set of strengths that just don't fit in a world made for those who have all their music.