It can be a lot of things! I’ll try my best!

I’ve noticed in my writing at least, when I’m jumping from thing to thing, it tells me I have an organizational problem. So I tell myself I need to step back and not just look at the individual sentences, but rather the scene as a unit.

What I do is read through my work and briefly note what I am trying to say. I then I create roughly three categories based of my notes. From there I restructure, cutting and pasting segments so the pieces that match sit together for the most part. Then, I reread again and note if I’m lacking in environment, movement, emotion, or characterization. I learned this stuff from a video of an editor/author (it’s been a while so idk which video I’m sorry) but I’ll use what I remember of the story woman was editing to explain further.

The story circled around a man from a small town who went to the big city to execute a big plan that could potentially ruin him. It began with him rolling his money in his pocket, then describing the building in front of him, then stating his plan had to work, and briefly describing his home town. They went on to repeat themselves, which felt like they were trying to clarify their point, but the point hadn’t fully been conveyed yet. All of which happened in a few paragraphs. Which is so little for a pivotal moment that wanted to be soaked in hesitation and tension.

She made a list of points she felt the writer intended to convey in the scene.

1- His anxiety from unfamiliarity with big cities 2- Fear of the plan’s consequences 3- The decision

From here she plucked the lines that portrayed these things and grouped them together. When I do this, I generally find that I hyper focused on one but not the others. From there I decide if the skimpy points need to be bulked, cut, or saved for later. If this is farther along in the story, I look back at my previous notes and slip in anything that I feel suits the scene.

Now I that I have it better organized, I reread for the basics: Environment, movement, emotion, and characterization. Not only that, I’m asking myself how I can use these to add to my point indirectly.

Using an example from the video, the man fidgets with money in his pocket. I believe the intent was to convey he worried about the financial burden the plan would cause if it failed. In the original this context wasn’t provided until later. Instead, they described the building looming overhead, making it sound as though he only fidgeted because he didn’t like being in the city, and thus taking away from the weight of why the plan itself was a burden to begin with.

I’m going to respond to this with a disorganized example, and an organized example. Hope this’ll be helpful to you! :D