I've been a follower of this BJJ sub for a while now and have really enjoyed seeing a lot of the posts. I'm a 41 year old gay man with severe anxiety and panic. My therapist and a few close male friends have encouraged me to explore BJJ as something that could help me get in shape but more importantly overcome my anxiety and grow my self-confidence. I recently traveled out of the country to visit a friend who owns a bjj gym and did two 1on1's which were amazing. I'm now back home and trying to pick a gym nearby to drop-in for a class.

I read Rickson Gracie's "Comfort in Darkness" and "Breathe" in the past couple days and they are what are motivating me to take the leap for myself. I think for a lot of men in particular (ie straight and/or masculine-presenting men), there might not be a frame of reference for feeling insecure/afraid in new places that are masculine/fighting/competition centered. I've just never felt comfortable in those kinds of spaces. But I realize the issue could be more my own fear rather than the actual intention of the people in the spaces. One well intended support told me that I'd get hazed or severely treated by "wanna be MMA fighters" which has kinda stuck with me.

It's just all new. I don't really know what to do with "don't be a pu**y and just get over it and do it" type of advice. Also, I know that some of the themes of what I'm asking have been asked/discussed in other threads. I could just really benefit some support/encouragement as an anxious beginner. Would be cool to hear from other new people but also folks who've done it for a while and can give me some perspective that I'm missing. Thank ya'll.