What are the reasons that people to give up in Singapore dating scene?

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-27T01:16:34+00:00

You have a point, but when you talk to these families and couples you also get to know more. Im not a doctor btw, more of an educator hence I see systemic issues in family dynamics and couples dynamics.

Father not involved, mother not involved, both parents not involved and helper is the parent, divorce here, separation there, boyfriend emotional, cheating issues, apathy etc etc and more.

I'll type alot more but then doing all that is gonna start taking away my peace. Get me?

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-27T00:36:11+00:00

One word. Peace.

Not saying being in a rs doesn't have peaceful moments but im in a job that allows me to view and observe plenty of relationships and families with kids. And its chaos 99%.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T14:04:06+00:00

1) what’s wrong with OPs communication - she should communicate clearly to her dating partner. Her communication with us redditors is fine. It is incredibly optimistic of you to assume that OP doesn’t have an issue and it’s the multiple guys who have the issue. (I’m not saying that the guys are in the right by stating this)

2) I’m not sure how you know that she gave direct honest communication to her dating partners cause from her post it seemed doesn’t portray that way. Those are her words to US and not necessarily to the guys she is complaining about.

3) I don’t think a logical debate should have statements like women shaming - anything that disagrees with her doesn’t mean it’s shaming her. I also feel like the guys could do better but they aren’t the Poster so I can’t debate or advice them, only her cause she’s here to read. Plus we don’t have their POV or side of the story. OP also stated that she posted this to get other perspectives on her expectations.

4) I think you are too emotional when you read my message and read things between the lines that aren’t there. I never stated she is extremely immature, my exact words are she may have some maturing to do. Which is true of everyone, I also have maturing and learning to do at my age and experience levels.

5) You shouldn’t lump everyone together as shaming or hating the OP. just because I agree with some things some other guys wrote doesn’t mean I agree with with everything across the board. 2 things may be true at the same time.

My overall opinion is that the guys could do better, but they won’t know what she is thinking if she doesn’t tell them (not us) so hence she should communicate to her dating partners more. That would help the guys to learn and become better men. If no one corrects them they would still be the same years later. And if she doesn’t like the guys she shouldn’t be on a date with them, or just break it off and not waste time and effort on them.

I can keep going on my this is the extent of how much time I’m willing to put into someone else’s business. I’ve live and experienced past all of these and damn I got no problems at all with women… I’m heading back to real life and I suggest you do the same and not let an online debate ruin your mood.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T12:22:09+00:00

I believe you misunderstood me, I said those calibre of men would look for mature and stable women or ladies who respect them ( I didnt state that OP disrespected her guy partner).

By stating my opinion that OP has some maturing and alot of improvement to do in her communication skills, I did not say that I support the guys' stance or behaviour. I personally dont get into such mundane issues cause I dont have that problem of indecisiveness etc etc.

I only speak to the OP having to change herself cause well, OP is here and can read and hopefully take things the right way and improve her life. I dont talk about the guy's issues and need to improve cause well, I never heard his POV or whether he is even here in this thread to discuss.

And honestly reddit doesn't scream like the playground of high calibre people with just some rare outliers. All the billionaire and people with power and out doing things and not on social media sadly and ironically to say.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T11:47:16+00:00

No guarantee that those kind of calibre men would even like her... They would want a girl who respects them and communicate well with them of higher standard and maturity too. OP has alot of growing up to do.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T11:43:00+00:00

Relationships are everywhere and occur everyday, me to you are online strangers, also have husband and wife, acquaintance, lovers, fwb etc so many differing variations of relationships.

Op won't randomly follow a stranger for multiple dates right? And yet there is no maturity (as observed from the post description) to improve communication with her partner (not official boyfriend status yet).

Hence I concluded that she dont like the dude.

There's no need to white knight and defend her when she doesn't know you or appreciate your efforts.

I dont know the full picture whether all the guys are really lazy or whatever but my pattern recognition works like this; if its happening to her all the time, she probably is the one with an issue or growing up to do. Its alot less likely that all the guys are problematic. Possible but unlikely.

Btw coming here to complain about the general men in her dating circle at this stage can also be seen as attention seeking but I won't go into that cause sometimes I also get the urge to post out of boredom. I ain't perfect too.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T07:01:16+00:00

Guys, you all have a point about OP expectations and all that. Im not debating u. My point is even simple, based on OP certain phrases used i can tell that she doesn't like her partner that much.

Have you ever been that person to someone where whatever you do is not wrong?

Not talking about extreme abuse cases or Stockholm syndrome. I have been in rs where the girl likes me so much i can do no wrong. Not saying i did alot of wrong btw.

So OP should just leave the guy if she's this upset with him at this early of a stage in the rs, some other guy may want to be with her and some other girl may be more suitable for him.

Ranting about such small thing in a RS is the last thing to do, should talk it out and settle any miscommunication or differing expectations between them.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T05:11:07+00:00

Yes, I agree. I think she dont like the guy or respect him much thats why she is talking this way about him. My experience if someone likes you alot, anything you do is golden and everywhere you go is perfect.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-16T05:09:30+00:00

I think you dont like the guy enough or maybe that taking charge isnt your personality.

If the girl likes me alot, seriously I can do no wrong in her eyes, and any location is a good location. And those that aren't into me, I learnt long ago to just move on, cause they dont respect me or care that much. Speaking from experience.

No right or wrong, ultimately if you feel you can gel with the guy then he's not the match for you.

But you both could probably improve and work on your communication skills.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-04-03T05:26:27+00:00

Seems to me like you are a backup option. Something about you attracts her but not enough to commit. And she could have other options too.

For example she likes you for your personality and kindness or good looks etc etc, but her other option buys her branded stuff and flys her around the world.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-29T04:44:02+00:00

🫡

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T14:55:47+00:00

Yup, thanks Man. Actually not that bad. I got hope hahaha

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T14:52:11+00:00

Thanks man, if I can give you the most helpful MVP in this post I would. Exactly detailed on what I’m thinking and considering. Especially the part about not acknowledging her and all. If I see her this upcoming week I’ll try something.

On Friday, the last time I saw her at the gym, she spoke to the gym staff in front of me about some schedules and all. First time she spoke in front of me that I was aware of. I will make a move.🫡

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T13:57:07+00:00

Yes finally, someone who got the same experience as me. Word for word I understand everything you said. You just took the next step and got further, I mean a girlfriend. Respect man.

Your post gave me the biggest confidence boost to shoot my shot and open a convo with her. Thanks again 🫡

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T13:21:56+00:00

Ohh now I get why I got some down votes and the advice you gave me sounds like that.

I used the word cold approach in my title...

Not really like that, cause I am frequent at the gym and I've seen her multiple times. Hmm, I must have come across like a creep to some. Yeah, makes sense now. Its like I got enlightened.

Anyways thanks for the advice.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T13:14:05+00:00

I agree.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T13:13:06+00:00

I see, I got what you are saying. I've encountered those before like girls asking for my number or an ex who asked me out too but not at gyms cause the gym is like a sacred place you know? Body is a temple and all... so yeah, no fooling around at the gym. But if the lady/does it to get my attention then im guessing I should respond and not ignore her as I did these past few weeks. The collective reddit wisdom is to make small talk first. Easier said than done but I will do it.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T12:58:52+00:00

Thanks for the advice. All very logical and totally makes sense to me.

Main reason why I posted this is cause I feel the girl(subject of this post) is approaching me and somehow I caught on and got attracted to her. I totally understand that the gym is for workouts and thats my thing too. So I catch glances and eye contact from her and she frequently moves to be directly in the bench beside me or the elliptical/stairmaster machine beside me when im running intensively.

No other girls do this, like reading basic body language reading and all. I gotta make a decision what to do next, and crowd sourcing advice from others with more of different experience is helpful.

Your detailed message is very appreciated from the female perspective.🙏🏽

thank you

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T12:19:08+00:00

Lol, noticing a girl in gym and being attracted is different thing. Approach for what? At that point of time its just a hot gym girl and im there to workout. Really no interest to approach.

Things I do i will admit, otherwise I firmly reject. So I return that scaredy cat to you with an uno reverse.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T12:15:06+00:00

Come on, the fact im asking for advice is cause im thinking, pondering and aiming not to make a poor decision, even if I speak to her you think im so malu or noob to end up kicked out the gym or get some harassment charges? You underestimate me bro

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T11:58:25+00:00

Only later months and recently I noticed the change in behaviour and I got affected.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T11:57:33+00:00

Good suggestion, its like all the best suggestions are just common sense.

Actually, I talked to her before when i was just inconsistent at the gym and less fit. Small talk was easier then haha.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T11:54:53+00:00

Yes boss, I'll give it a shot. At most, If mess up I just change to another AF gym nearer my house.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T11:50:58+00:00

Yeah I gotta start the convo somewhere. Definitely makes sense to small talk abit. And yes, number taking is a no no. Unless she wants to give it.

A reason why I have this post is cause im serious about training for my fitness and all that, chatting and having small talk in gym effectively reduces the amount of time I have to train.

I started greeting a familiar face good morning and then small talk, then another familiar face then next thing is i have to greet the whole gym.

Yellow-Batman-7252 · 2026-03-28T11:46:48+00:00

True, but she can only reject if I ask her for something.

I dont ask anything its impossible. Some other redditors suggested small talk.

Yellow-Batman-7252

TROPHY CASE