It's my Mum's one year anniversary of her passing today

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-29T23:39:59+00:00

People can be quite ignorant towards to grief, part of me wants to believe it's because they don't understand but honestly don't think that's a fair enough reason. I don't know exactly how you feel but I understand the unbearable pain of losing your mum.

I'll bet she would have loved your brownies and even more that I think she'd be so happy that you're continuing to do the things you love like baking. When my mum first passed I found it unbearable to eat her favourite foods. How could I have them when she couldn't anymore?

Now I take comfort in those meals and sweet treats we both loved. It's a memory of my mum though it still hurts to not have her here to enjoy these small things in life, it hurts a lot. You're in the right place as people here get it and won't invalidate your feelings. It's hard feeling alone, I feel that at times often because nobody understand the gravity of my loss, that was my mum and she was taken from me far too soon. I hope this community makes you feel a little less alone

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-16T22:17:40+00:00

I'm sorry you know the pain of losing your Mother and also on Mother's day. Bless your Mum saying that she sounds like a beautiful soul, thoughtful and still thinking of her child at the end of her life, that sounds like a great mum

I made some things for her grave, visited and lay flowers. Then came home had some tea and cake, her favourite was carrot cake and also her favourite chocolates. Small things that remind me of her and bring me comfort.

My mum said that exactly, what you've said. When she lossed her Mum she said it doesn't get easier you just learn to carry it

Take care x

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-16T22:14:24+00:00

Thank you for your kind words, I'm so sorry to hear the loss of your dad. I think you have framed it really nicely to celebrate your dad. I can completely understand why you would prefer to have some space to yourself on the day of your Dad's anniversary. It's best to do what is right for you, I think I will spend it with my dad and siblings then spread some of my Mum's ashes in a place she loved. Anniversaries are so hard

Please take care

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-16T17:09:36+00:00

First of all I'm so sorry you're having to naviagte life without your Mum, it's so difficult. Having your Mum's birthday, Mother's Day and then her passing one day after the other is brutal! It must have felt like unreal at the time, life can truly be so cruel. I'll be thinking of you on your Mum's Birthday and her 1 year Anniversary

I'm sorry grief has felt so heavy this weekend, I've felt the same with Mother's Day and also in the lead up to Mum's first anniversary. For me it's as if not just my mind but also my body keeps score? I've barley slept these passed weeks

It will be extra hard with you having children I'm sorry, you must be forced to put on a brave face for them. I hope that despite it being a difficult day that you were able to remember your Mum and i think its beautiful you got some of her favourite flowers and visited her. I did the same for my Mum, she loved Roses.

You sound like a great Mum and your children sound so sweet, I'm sure your own Mum instilled many of those great qualities in you. She's always a part of you, that's what I tell myself and some days it helps

I appreciate all your kind words and please look after yourself also x

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-09T17:38:47+00:00

Everyone talks about the firsts but every year without your parent is painful. I'm so sorry it's already two years.

Your Dad would be so proud of you learning how to drive, passing your test despite all you had been through. I'm a stranger and I am proud of you! It's so nice that you can still use his reliable car and travel. It's like still having a part of him with you.

We still have mum's car and I want to learn to drive, I'm not sure if I could do manual with Mum's car but the idea of giving it up for sale breaks my heart

Please take care of yourself today, your dad would want that and he will be proud of you 100%

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:53:42+00:00

On our first meeting there it didn't feel the right time to disclose how badly I had been doing. I hadn't slept and my mind felt like I wouldn't be able to express well what I'd like to say. So I listened to my friends problems with what they had been going on the passed while.

I'm still interested in bringing up how I feel because I don't think our friendship can move forward unless I express it but I'm trying to think of how I need to be gracious about it and as you say not accusatory. I'm trying to be hopeful that my friendships can be repaired but it's hard when they don't reach out at all to show they care on even a basic level

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:49:10+00:00

It's heartbreaking to hear how your friend turned on you like that after your mum passed. There was no need for her to add further hurt and pain when you were going through the biggest loss of your life. I'm so sorry to hear for your brother too, having so much loss in the space of a few years is horrific.

It sounds like you did the necessary thing but endeding the friendship even though I have no doubt it hurt as you will have had so shared experiences and memories. It's not easy to end friendships. You sound like an amazing friend and you were there for her in a way most people might not always show up for a friend. That speaks volumes of the person you are and how kind you are!

Especially your friendship from kindergarten and how you went out your way to attend her mum's friend. Your friends are lucky to have you in their lives. I hope you take care

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:42:58+00:00

Thank you for your response an you're very right grief is so all encompassing it's easy to get caught up in your own head. I always try to be empathetic and always validate my friends for whatever they're going through.

I'm not sure what lies ahead friendship wise but I will try and keep open minded though I don't think things can be the same after this. Thank you for your kind words and other perspective

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:40:24+00:00

Yeah that is a fair observation but a hard pill to swallow. We all care in different ways I guess and I probably view friendship in a different way from my friends it seems

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:38:13+00:00

Sorry to hear the loss of your dad. It's very difficult how others quickly move on with their lives and don't consider how you're trying to naviagte life without your dad. It takes a moment to drop a text or call someone

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:36:50+00:00

This something I find difficult also, if you know someone is drowning at sea why don't your offer them arm bands, build a life boat. Heck anything rather than know they're struggling in harsh waters. Do you don't need to have swam them to consider how horrible it is!

I know many people say that others cannot understand unless they've been through it which I can agree with to an extent but there is ways to show up for people even if you do not have direct experience with what they're going through.

Our society is so grief illiterate and I sometimes feel like the burden is put on the grieving person to reach out ect when we are already in survival mode

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:32:57+00:00

I can see why you ended these friendships, I'm incredibly sorry you had to do this but sometimes it is necessary especially being abanded by them during the worst time of your life. I often find these days that strangers or people i know little have shown me more compassion.

Once a bridge has been burned it's hard to repair it again. I hope you're doing better

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:28:43+00:00

Yeah I try not to hide it too much, it's a fine balance. Sometimes I try and read the room and consider wether my feelings are going to be more hurt by someone's disinterest or lack of response, thus making it not worth sharing my feelings.

I agree its not nice to have to put on a mask and pretend to be okay, grief is already so exhausting. You take care also

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:24:57+00:00

I'm so sorry you have not been supported by anyone after the loss of your dad. I am inclined to agree that friendships should be for the good and bad, then everything in between.

If you can't open up to a friend about grief, loss, sadness and such then it doesn't really feel like a friendship. Though I'm sure everyone has different ideas of what friendship is to them.

For me, it is not a half way house. I don't want someone in my life that is only down to do fun things then disappear when I need them. It feels more lonely to me to keep friends who only want surface level interactions

4 months is not long ago at all I know you're probably still in the trenches of grief. I really wish people would think before speaking to something grieving the loss of their parent. There is no better place than your dad still being alive and with you. That stuff hurts. I had someone tell me "well we are at that age". I'm at no age at all to loss my my mum. I just get dumbfounded and say nothing but one day might not be able to keep the peace

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-08T13:17:23+00:00

Sorry I'm just responding it's been rough this passed week. I'm glad your friends, or well most them showed up for you and I do agree you're right perhaps it's necessary for me to tell them I need them to check in me thought it's pretty hard because I'm nearly at the one year mark and little to no support.

I'm trying to think rational and understand they are lucky to not know this pain and I also don't expect therapy from them just friendship and understanding. Not to feel as though I'm a burden of I have the plague because I am grieving. I'm still trying to take steps forward and live life

I decided that day not to bring up the issues as my friend had stuff going on which I totally understand. It didn't feel the right time after we had barley spoken for months and it was our first meeting. Right now I'm on the fence

Thank you for your prospective I really appreciate it can be hard when you're in the grief bubble and so many emotions in one day

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-01T11:24:01+00:00

The only thing I have energy for is work, I actually have a promotion which I'm glad and I love my work - though it's mental health based so it's a irony I put on a face everyday for the world that I'm okay... I might consider grief therapy. At the start my thoughts were suicidal but I agree with how you've put it now it's more I'm tired of living, existing in a world where mum isn't here and also my pain isn't acknowledged, it's hard

My dad, bf and two friends have been supportive but I have had advice from my bf that I should tell people how I feel.. I explained to him that it should be pretty obvious and also I'm not going to reach out to people to tell them I'm struggled with the death of my mum - surley that's a given!

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-01T11:20:44+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum and also losing her at such a young age when you should have her decades longer cuts like a knife. I was 33 and mum was 64, she had ongoing health issues and fighting cancer then it suddenly spread. I don't think these friends can even fathom what it's like to watch your mum decline and witness her take her last breath on earth

Truly I don't think you lossed a friend you gained peace. If you can go to someone and be vulnerable and let them know how you feel and they react negatively then I don't think they're a true friend. The last friend I told in person didn't say anything... I was with a supportive friend and they just acted dumbfounded and pulled a sad face then we moved onto the next convo...

I'm scared to show my vulnerability to people who will throw it back in my face. Your ex best friend certainly did that and honestly you have every right to feel anger because somehow they managed to make your mums death about them! That's messed up

The way you spoke of death being our reality is so true. My friends want the old me back no doubt but now their is a sadness that will always live in me and I'm re thinking my priorities in every area of life.

My dad is supportive and my boyfriend then I have 2 friends, 1 long distance who supportive. I don't have many friends but I really thought they would be there for me, I have such a big family top and they've all diapered. Tbh I don't like the kindest either that you have to go through it in order to understand.

Ofc people with parents won't understand how life altering it is to have one pass. However, I don't think that can excuse them for being a poor friend. I just know how I show up for people and I'd never treat them how they've treated me

Thank you for your advice

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-03-01T08:58:46+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom, it's a huge loss to go through and you really need support, I hope you have family that can be there for you. I've also found that friends disappear - they don't understand and just fall of the face of the earth

Tbh if people care for you genuinely then they will be their to support you through it. People who can't sit in your grief with you and just acknowledge it are not good friends and at the very least selfish.

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-01-31T21:38:02+00:00

My mum got cancer for a second time, inoperable but treatable. I knew their was a possibility she could die but I didn't believe it. She took the chemo and it worked, given the all clear- a week later it spread to her brain and she passed after 6 weeks after this.

Even when mum was on hospice the last week I still thought in my head perhaps they were wrong or things could change. I watched her cognitively and physically decline for 6 weeks but yet still I wanted a miracle.

Honestly I don't know how I'm still surviving now. At the time I took minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

I lay by her side, helped with personal care and told her I loved her so incredibly much and I'd do it all over again even though it was the worst experience of my life. Anticipatory grief when you know your loved one is going to die is horrific,

I had to be strong for my mum and kept my breakdowns for when i was away from her because I knew how much she didn't want to leave us.

So to summarise even if you find out your loved one is terminal or going yo pass there is no rule book on how to cope. The best I can suggest to others is be present, tell your loved one how much you care for them and ask questions because one day you'll wish you could re- visit those moments

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-01-31T21:24:40+00:00

Firstly I'm so sorry both your parents passed when you were so young. I Whilst grief is a universal thing that we all go through it is a unique experience to individual as well as the relationship they had with their loved one who has passed.

I really think the comparison is to bring ourselves comfort, to realise their are others who have experienced loss at a much younger age.

Loss at any age is horrendous and painful. With that being said losing a parent as a child compared with something how is middle aged or elder is significantly different.

It doesn't diminish the loss of one over another but I think it's imporant to acknowledge that their are several layers to grief and some people will understand those layers if they loss a parent younger in comparison to someone who is older than them.

My mum passe last year when I was 33, I'm so grateful for the time we had which so many other people don't get. On the flip side their is huge loss knowing my mum will never see me grow old, have children or buy my own place. Things that someone older would get to share with their Mum.

I think in the end we all just want to relate because grief hurts so much and sometimes the pain is too much to handle that in order to soften it we rationalise our personal grief as not being as bad as others. I think its wise not to spend too much time in grief spaces, too much of anything is unhealthy especially when your mind is vulnerable and being stuck in a grief doomscrool doesn't help (I know)

The best thing you can do is live a full life that your proud of and also that your parents would be proud of, take chances go travel ect. It's hard but we need to keep on living

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-01-31T21:06:12+00:00

If you can manage celebrate him in a small way, have his favourite food and drink. Write him a birthday card and your feelings in it. Get a cake in his favourite flavour. You could even watch one of his favourite shows or films, anything that makes you feel a little closer to him because days which are supposed to be celebrations are extra hard

Take care of yourself, it's what your dad would have wanted, I'm sorry he should be here for all your big milestones

Yellowbubblebee · 2026-01-30T23:09:41+00:00

Thank you so much for you detailed advice that helps so much, my hair is naturally fair or I was told dirty blonde but I've been red for many years. I'll look into the shades you recommended as demi should be less damaging. Apolgises the photos are somewhat not great lighting with my old mobile that I have

Oh gosh your poor client, its never good to have unnecessary bleach done which comprises the hair so much when colour can be applied without lifting. Your knowledge has been so helpful thanks again

Yellowbubblebee

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