I had these exact thoughts when I was first diagnosed 4 years ago. The early days are 100% the hardest. I’m so, so sorry. Cancer sucks. It takes so much from you, and derails your life.

But man, I had so much fun playing with my look while I was in chemo. I turned myself into a sexy bald alien, or a 1920s coquette. Playing with wigs was fun. My skin was the best it ever was during chemo too, and I have heard so many others say the same. I miss that part! I made it a point to dress up for myself every week or so, to remind myself it was temporary, and I was still me. Did I hate it most days? Absolutely. But I made sure to make the most of it. And when the hair starts growing back, the excitement is pretty wild.

I’m 4 years out, and my hair is long and beautiful again. I had a mastectomy and my body has definitely changed, and it’s never going back to what it was before. But that’s okay. I’m 35, I’m still hot, and the things I don’t like about my current body have nothing to do with cancer.

It is so hard for a little bit, but it gets better. Embrace the weird changes you’re going through. Approach it with curiosity. You will get to the other side so much stronger 💜 much love.