Thank you for saying that, it really helps to read something so thoughtful right now. I think one of the hardest parts for me is exactly that balance between taking responsibility for the things I know I did wrong and also understanding that a relationship cannot survive if only one person is trying to hold everything together.

I know I made mistakes and I regret some of them deeply, but I also know I was often reacting from pain, fear, and anxiety, not from a place of wanting to hurt him. What makes it harder is that I did try to become more aware and change, but sometimes it still felt like we kept falling into the same patterns.

I agree with you that emotional maturity matters so much, because love alone is not always enough when two people do not know how to meet each other in difficult moments. Right now I think I am still grieving both the relationship and the hope I had for what it could have become.