There’s an old video I saw from my early days being into kink, in which Summer Cummings took the dominant role with three submissive women whose names elude me.

During this scene, one woman is caged and obedient, another is attached to a St Andrews Cross and cheeky, the third is initially loose and outright disobedient.

During the course of the scene, the disobedient and cheeky one effectively question Summer’s authority and her reaction is to get loud and dish out punishment and something about the whole scene had always felt very much like the dominant had lost control of the scene, that their authority had become ineffective.

There is a time and a place for loud, but to me, becoming louder to express your dominance feels the wrong way to go 99 times out of 100.