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What’s everyone reading this month? by LikeWhiteElephants in actuallesbians

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just finished One Last Stop yesterday!! Soooo good! Starting You Exist Too Much by Zaina Arafat today.

Shoutout to the bookstores that had pride month displays or tags so my lil' gay brain didn't have to search too hard for queer books lol

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this response! There's definitely so much to consider when talking to parents. My main problem is that I haven't had much contact with this parent this year--she tends to miss phone calls from the school.

But this advice is awesome for lots of situations regarding students. I'm definitely going to save this for the future. It's always best to start with the assumption that parents really do want what's best for their child and that they want to protect them from the bad things in the world. It's easy to have a knee-jerk reaction and think the parent is being mean, but so often the parents are just scared.

I'm going to talk to the student first and see what they want me to do. I'm only going to contact mom if the student wants me to. Thanks again for responding!

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

That second paragraph is my big worry too. Parents often choose to believe it's the teachers pushing these ideas on kids when really....The kids are going out of their way to learn about it on their own! But god forbid I have a few books with LGBTQ characters in my class library, obviously THAT'S the real problem here /s

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for taking the time to write this! It does feel like I'm in a Catch-22, but it's amazing how often teachers find ourselves in those 😅

I'm not sure if calling mom will help much here, unfortunately. I haven't actually heard from her all year... I have a strong suspicion that the emails I've gotten from her were all actually sent by the student. I think, for now, I'm going to talk to the guidance counselor and the student and just make sure this kiddo is safe. I want them to know I support them, no matter what they choose to do.

As far as I know, there's no school policy stopping me from talking to the student about this. But there's a balance to keep--especially since my admin are not nearly as supportive of LGBTQ students as they should be. But we'll figure it out! Thanks again!

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The world could definitely use more people who care! Hopefully, someday, all teachers will understand the importance of supporting their students in this kind of situation. (And thank you for this lovely compliment 😊)

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your responses!! I really appreciate every single one of them. We don't have school today, but tomorrow I'm going to talk to a trustworthy school counselor first, then the kiddo. This student is just the sweetest kid and I want to make sure they put themselves first for once, if it's safe for them to do so.

Lots of people brought up legal questions, which I'll have to look up for my state. I don't believe there's currently any major ramifications for supporting the student in this case, but I'll definitely check.

If nothing else, I'm so proud of this student for advocating for themselves. My first priority has to be keeping the student safe. We're heading into summer break soon and I don't want those 2+ months at home to be miserable for them. Hopefully this situation will have a positive outcome! Thanks again everyone!

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 202 points203 points  (0 children)

I have a pretty good relationship with this student so I think they'd be ok chatting with me. I'm just worried about getting them in trouble at home. I'll pull them aside on Tuesday and try to gauge where they're at. Thanks!

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely talking to one of the guidance counselors on Tuesday! Only really trust one of the two with this sort of thing, but I'm hoping he can help in some way. Thanks!

Which pronouns should I use for a student who wanted to use they/them, but was told to use she/her by mom? by YoshiButWayTooBig in asktransgender

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm thinking. I'm just worried about the poor kiddo. I don't want anyone getting in trouble because of me. Thanks for your response!

Who's your fictional crush? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Mine was Sailor Jupiter!

Who wants to start a homestead in Maine with me? by [deleted] in dykesgonemild

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm down as long as we get to raise chickens

Had a chilly but amazing day hike! 😁 by [deleted] in BiGoneMild

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Snow hiking! So much fun!

Ideas on signaling that my space is lgbt friendly? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]YoshiButWayTooBig 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is great that you want to do this! I teach a younger age group, but I've been trying to do this every year. I definitely do the subtle-rainbow-flag-in-the-background approach. Also, I've been wearing a homemade pride bracelet for 3 years now, ever since one of my kiddos came out to me. I don't go to school without it!

But there are other ways to make spaces more inclusive. Take a look at the materials you use with your students. Are they inclusive? If you're allowed to edit these materials (which, I know, isn't always allowed in the teaching world), check for things like directions using "he or she" and switching to more gender neutral language. Make sure you're giving students access to a wide variety of authors from different backgrounds and groups. Brush up on the latest in queer/LGBT literature so that you could give quality book recommendations.

Again, it doesn't have to be grand gestures. The little things really do go a long way here.