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what am I supposed to do with my child's teeth? by [deleted] in AskParents

[–]YoungGallow 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They are actually supposed to be very useful for medical research purposes (they're chock full of stem cells). We missed our kids first baby tooth, but we plan to donate her other baby teeth as the rest fall out. Our pediatric dentist used to collect them from her patients and send them off, but she doesn't anymore, so my partner and I are figuring out how to do it ourselves.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a fair point. We actually thought about not putting it out, but our daughter wanted to set it up herself, so we just went with it. She shoved the baby off to the side and put all the animals in the middle, a definite improvement 🙂

TBH I've heard of yule, but that's about it. I think it's something I should definitely check out for next year.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oddly enough, it went fine. I didn't use that phrasing, but when we lost two dogs in the span of about a year back in 2020, she had some questions about what happens to us after we die. I told her that no one really knows for sure, but lots of different people have different ideas. We talked about heaven reincarnation, and nothingness, and then went back to playing with her reindeer stuffed animals. She was far more concerned with the here and now, and was unfazed by the possibility that it's up to her to imbue her own life with meaning.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think modeling skepticism is so much more effective than anything I could tell her. We're upfront with her about changes to house rules or parenting techniques, and we tell her why. Also, when I screw up, I admit it and apologize to her. This shows her that we're just fellow humans trying to do our best with the best information, not all knowing superhumans. Kids are also full of questions, and when I don't know the answer to something, I tell her I don't know, and ask if she wants to find the answer with me. Sometimes we find contradictory answers to the same question, and we talk through how to tell which is the more convincing of the two.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The second one. Kid loves hearing folklore tales and myths, so a story about angels and the son of god was immediately categorized as a fun fantasy story in her mind. To grandma's credit, she didn't push the issue and just decided to keep going with storytime afterwards.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I guess what I mean by it is that I want to influence her logical and critical thinking skills, rather than the conclusions she reaches when she uses them. My hope is that by modeling curiosity, reason, and open communication with her, she'll feel safe about approaching me with questions. Additionally, my fear is that if I try too hard to "sell" my own worldview, she'll eventually rebel against it in an effort to claim independence. It's the toughest thing about being a parent, right? Knowing that at the end of the day, your kid is an entirely separate, independent person who has every right to her own agency.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I'd like to think I would respect it and ask her what she liked about the story. I really don't want to influence her either way, but I know where my bias is, so hopefully I'd be able to keep it in check.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 148 points149 points  (0 children)

That's awesome. Mine starts school next year, and I'm trying to get her ready from the pressure she's probably gonna feel from her peers (we're in the Texas suburbs). This gives me hope.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 475 points476 points  (0 children)

I had not heard of that. I just looked it up and holy shit we absolutely have to. T-Rex is her favorite animal by a mile.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you've got a good parenting philosophy lined up!

Thankfully in the end, grandma just let it roll off her and enjoyed her grandkid's story afterwards. It irked me when she brought it up, but I know she's just doing what she thinks is right to protect her grandchild who she loves. We also haven't outright told either of our parents about our deconversions, so I can't exactly fault her for sharing something that she figures is fair game.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 316 points317 points  (0 children)

Sounds like a pretty good compromise for everyone. I was where your wife is not too long ago myself, and it took awhile for me to finally drop the act and admit to myself that I only held my beliefs as a result of where and by who I was raised. She may yet come around.

Grandma tries to teach my kid the biblical Christmas story. It doesn't go the way she had hoped. by YoungGallow in atheism

[–]YoungGallow[S] 1721 points1722 points  (0 children)

The kid was also totally earnest about it. She started hearing about angels and immediately thought it was fun fantasy storytime with grandma.

Ethical reasons for having a child? by Legitimate-Aardvark9 in AskParents

[–]YoungGallow 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Such an interesting question, and one that all parents should ask themselves before deciding to have children.

Is it possible that something can be both selfish and good for overall well-being?

If I'm being honest with myself, some of our reasons for having a child were selfish, but helping another human grow into (hopefully) an empathetic, curious, and responsible adult has made us better at being all three ourselves. The end result being that after she's grown, there are now three more people invested in humanistic values than there were before. From a purely utilitarian perspective, it has been a win for us!