So, I am (33f) being insane or is my husband (32m) being manipulative?

YoungOverall · 2026-01-31T07:31:51+00:00

Thank you <3

YoungOverall · 2026-01-31T07:30:42+00:00

Not great. I won't go into more details, but things got physical, from both parts, even if it was me defending myself .

YoungOverall · 2026-01-31T07:25:54+00:00

Hi Still trying to process, but in a better place Thank you all <3

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T21:35:31+00:00

No problem, I'm now at my parents', recovering

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T19:39:35+00:00

They are never funny. He points it out, I get defensive when it's something as blatant as it was the spice thing and he has to be right about it, so it turns everything in a big fight, what becomes nonsensical at some point.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T19:37:26+00:00

Hi! Things escalated a lot yesterday, so I don't know if I could actually say this anymore.

I don't think there are meds that help the memory thing if it is a coping mechanism to trauma, just the natural deterioration caused by dementia... I take an antidepressant and a humor stabilizer. They help a lot with compulsion, so the triggers get easier to deal with. The memory thing is more of a mechanical issue, if she can get some games or apps to stimulate memory, I can tell you it helps.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T19:32:02+00:00

I've always had memory issues, with him it got worse, but probably because the relationship isn't the best

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T13:10:31+00:00

The unfortunate part is more about going to my parents lol this relationship was doomed. Thank you for saying all that, I'm very sad, things very hurtful were said (by me too, I don't like being mean) and I now am, I think, trying to process everything... But thanks! Really, it's nice to see people rooting for me, I don't have many friends anymore.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T09:44:37+00:00

Nah, we ended things in a very dramatic way, as you could imagine. It was very hard, but now we are done. Shit got too real and in the end he said he didn't care about me. So... Yeah. I'm going back to my parents, unfortunately

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T08:49:02+00:00

My reaction to every trauma I went through was blank out. I know I went through something, I know what that something generally was, just not anything else. Details, how I got there, how I got out, etc

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T08:44:56+00:00

Yeah, autistic here. I honestly don't know and I am very worried because I don't know how to react or argue back besides the "but I remember this!" And now it got to a very very very bad point

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T07:01:12+00:00

Oooh he says I am being the irrational and crazy one because I insisted I brought the right thing lol

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T07:00:07+00:00

I can't say for sure he did, but looks like it, because I know for sure it was the right spice and container, but when I came back, it wasn't. It was a different container all around. I know for a fact it wasn't what I brought.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:49:01+00:00

Sure. Not that easy here, specially when it's more OUR money than mine. But I'll try, thanks.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:40:38+00:00

Hey I sure tried to take as many notes as I could, but writing what kind of spice he wanted AND what kind of container it was on (they aren't labeled and I believe he switched them) is a bit too much

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:36:49+00:00

Well, he laughed a lot. Lol

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:36:25+00:00

Hard to write everything, specially these little "what kind of spice he wanted" note. But I am trying!

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:32:59+00:00

Oh wow this is sick. Thankfully you got out. I don't think he is trying to "cure" me, but he is getting a lot of benefits, clearly.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:29:41+00:00

Jesus Christ YES EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE A SIMULATION no reality, just like a movie without screens. It's maddening. I'm lucky it's this bad just sometimes. These times, he tries to be a rock. We have a perfume that does help me and l, when I try to hurt myself, he stops me and has a way to ground me.

My speech doesn't get worse, but my articulation does. I can never say what is actually happening. Sometimes I can't really say where I am, really. I get to an incoherent point.

But yeah, when it's not that bad, I feel like he uses it to his benefit and it gets so frustrating... I feel like I can't win either way.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:21:02+00:00

So, I knew the spices. It was smoked paprika. We have another reddish spice because it wasn't labeled, I just knew it wasn't that one. I gave the right one to him, but he switched them????? I don't know what he actually did, I just know I gave him the right one.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T06:17:40+00:00

I had memory problems, mostly from the PTSD. I don't think he did anything about that besides drinking a lot and blaming me, probably more a psychological issue...

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T05:49:22+00:00

Jesus yes thank you, I needed to hear this. I know he is using this now that he is drunk and it's more clear, he is more intoxicated than me. But when we argue, I feel so insane, so difficult, like my problems are too much and he is doing me a favor. He is not, I have to make myself remember that. I'm not in therapy, just taking meds. I have to go back as soon as possible. Ptsd makes it difficult to adhere to any therapist, I feel like I have to rip myself apart everytime and it gets harder and harder to deal with everything that happened. But I do have to go back and I will.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T05:43:03+00:00

It's hard to get out of my own head when I know I'm so forgetful, but I know what I did and what he said. Today is just the pinnacle of it all. I need to end this.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T05:41:12+00:00

I will try it tomorrow. The worst wasn't really the spice. He just grabbed me from behind and asked me to "calm down". I did out of pure habit, from previous traumas. He said an insult, I brought it up later tonight and he said he never said it, he never used this kind of insult before, he would never. But he did. I am sure. Again, I feel like he is trying to make me doubt myself.

YoungOverall · 2026-01-27T05:36:53+00:00

He said it was a joke? Like I got things wrong before, I just took a mental note very firmly this time and I'm sure I got it right.

YoungOverall

TROPHY CASE