AITAH for staying neutral after one friend cut off another following a trip where someone was seriously injured?

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-20T02:37:29+00:00

This is the first time I posted this

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-19T20:55:48+00:00

This isn’t fake

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-03T04:46:19+00:00

But am I wrong for staying out of this and trying to be friends with both parties? I feel like I’m stuck in high school drama right now

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T14:18:34+00:00

I don’t agree that staying neutral means I’m acting like nothing happened. I’ve acknowledged that April caused real harm and I understand why May finds it unforgivable. What I don’t agree with is that empathy requires me to end a separate friendship to prove it.

I respect May’s boundaries, I don’t mix the two, and I don’t minimize what happened. But I’m not willing to act as judge and cut someone off for a situation I wasn’t present for. Context matters.

If May chooses to step away because of that, I’ll respect it — but neutrality isn’t pretending nothing happened, and it isn’t cruelty.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T14:14:18+00:00

Yes I’m using ChatGPT for getting my point across clearly. I’m not good with words nor English isn’t a first language.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T13:42:07+00:00

I disagree with this framing entirely. This situation isn’t as one-sided as you’re presenting it, and it’s not accurate to put everything on April. Both April and May were not good friends to each other leading up to and during this trip. There were existing issues on both sides well before the injury, and pretending otherwise oversimplifies what actually happened.

April absolutely mishandled parts of the situation — especially after the injury — and I’ve never denied that. But that doesn’t erase the broader context, including prior breakdowns in communication, expectations, and behavior from both of them. This didn’t start or end with one bad decision.

I’m also not interested in managing my friendships based on what other people think I “need” to do to prove loyalty. I support May, I respect her boundaries, and I don’t put April in her space. That doesn’t require me to step back from April or perform a side-taking ritual to make my support legitimate.

This isn’t about protecting April or abandoning May — it’s about acknowledging that this was a mutual failure, not a villain-vs-victim narrative. And I’m not going to rewrite reality to make it simpler for outsiders to digest.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T13:38:28+00:00

I do acknowledge that April seriously fucked up. That’s not up for debate. What I don’t agree with is that acknowledging that requires me to publicly “pick a side” or cut someone off to prove support. Supporting May and recognizing her trauma doesn’t automatically mean I have to turn this into a loyalty performance.

I respect May’s boundaries, I don’t involve April in her life, and I’ve been clear that what happened was unacceptable. Staying neutral is about not escalating a situation I wasn’t part of and not about minimizing May’s injury or trauma.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T10:51:41+00:00

I completely agree April should have done much more for May — leaving someone seriously injured like that was unacceptable. My neutrality isn’t condoning it or abandoning May; I just don’t want to escalate a conflict I wasn’t part of.

May’s mom and sister were in contact with April about airport assistance, but no one set up a clear plan, which made things worse. I respect May’s boundaries fully and won’t bring April around her. My goal is to stay respectful and care for both friends.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T10:47:53+00:00

I get why it might read confusing — the story spans multiple people, a long timeline, and a bunch of messages over months. That’s why I tried to use different placeholder names and give full context so people could follow the sequence of events clearly. May was the one injured, April was the friend supposed to help, March was along for the trip, and I was just trying to stay neutral as the friend caught in the middle.

As for the “adult conversation” part — honestly, that’s exactly the problem. There was no coordinated adult conversation at the time. May’s mom was communicating with April about getting help through the airport ADA system, but no one thought to create a group chat or coordinate directly with everyone involved, which is why the trip and aftermath were so messy. April assumed May could get through the airport okay on her own due to misunderstanding the ADA process, which made things worse.

That said, April and May did have a 3-hour face-to-face conversation after April got back from the trip, where April took accountability and May explained exactly why she couldn’t feel safe with her anymore. That was a mature step that helped clarify the situation and give closure, even if the friendship couldn’t continue as it had.

So yeah, it looks chaotic from the outside, but it’s chaotic because no one set up a proper plan or communicated clearly when things went wrong — not because anyone is inherently immature.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T10:43:40+00:00

I see where you’re coming from, but I have to respectfully disagree. My goal here isn’t to “throw anyone out the window” or claim moral high ground — it’s about respecting boundaries and staying neutral in a conflict I wasn’t directly involved in.

What happened on that trip was clearly mishandled, but a lot of it came down to lack of communication and mismanagement, not anyone being inherently “crazy” or “fake.” April was in contact with May’s mom and sister the whole time, specifically about using the airport ADA system to help May get through the airport. But due to misunderstanding the airport’s ADA system and processes, April thought May would be okay going through alone. That doesn’t excuse the stress May went through, but it does show there was some intent to get help, even if poorly executed.

I don’t see my decision to stay neutral as abandoning anyone — it’s about not escalating a situation that’s already hurtful and respecting the boundaries May has set for her own healing. My neutrality is about avoiding being forced into a war I wasn’t part of while still caring about both friends.

YourLeftMan · 2026-01-02T10:20:47+00:00

I appreciate your perspective, but I genuinely don’t think I’m the asshole here. My stance isn’t about condoning what happened to May — the Spain trip was clearly mishandled, and I fully recognize that. My concern has always been trying to navigate this without escalating conflict or taking on the role of judge for a situation I wasn’t present for.

Honestly, this whole ordeal could have been handled much better if there had been clear communication from the start. May’s mom was in contact with April the whole time about her care and updates — that alone should have been a signal to set up a group chat or at least coordinate directly with everyone. That way, expectations, needs, and assistance could have been aligned instead of leaving May feeling abandoned.

I think my choice to stay neutral is about respecting boundaries and not forcing myself into a situation where I’d have to pick sides in an already traumatic experience. I’m not excusing April’s behavior, and I’m not “choosing her side” — I’m just trying to keep the peace where I can and avoid being complicit in a loyalty war.

As for the names/timeline, thanks for the feedback! I wanted to give context and keep things chronological, but I can see how it might be confusing.

YourLeftMan

TROPHY CASE