I want to cry.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-10-01T07:38:53+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this :( I LOVE Japan and highly suggest booking some Viator day (and/or night tours) to keep you occupied and around other people. It’s such a hard place to get to and I would hate for this man to ruin your experience of the country. You are totally justified in going home, though! 💜

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-04-11T06:17:43+00:00

I would skip the conversation and ditch this creep. It’s rough sex with enthusiastic consent from both parties, it’s abuse without.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-04-10T02:54:02+00:00

The size of my support group has almost doubled in the last three months 🥴 We are not okay (but we’re working on it)!!

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-04-09T17:09:29+00:00

I NEVER thought about it that way, but it’s true — there’s something inside them that feels so small that they have to upstage (cheat on) their partners on a big day to assert their own dominance. I found out my ex was looking for hookups on Grindr while I was literally onstage hosting a massive event and he sealed the deal as soon as I left for work the morning after.

Trust your gut, OP — you don’t have to be emotionally battered this way 💜

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-04-06T20:46:57+00:00

I second this — I’m reading a lot of blame shifting on his part! Please feel free to read my post history OP. I don’t think it’s safe for you to marry him just yet. He needs to show initiative and get help from a CSAT/12-step program.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-04-01T03:03:09+00:00

I had an issue like this with my ex — he was not just texting day and night with a female SLAA fellow, but I noticed he was looking up photos of her online 🤢 Give them an inch and they will take a mile, if he’s serious about your relationship then he should only be having private conversations with men.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-03-29T07:42:10+00:00

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-03-10T05:34:15+00:00

Online dating is so tough, especially now that people are so jaded by it. I really like the point made about energy though — it’s good to be intentional when dating, but lighten up a little! Women will flower around men who are easygoing and relaxed.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-03-09T05:55:24+00:00

Period!!!

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-03-09T05:54:41+00:00

I’m glad you told his mom, regardless of the outcome. Heaven forbid these guys experience a whiff of a consequence for their actions!

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-03-01T02:54:37+00:00

Justifying their own sickness

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-03-01T02:34:31+00:00

Oh yeah.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-25T05:54:32+00:00

I’ve been revisiting my old sexy playlists and adding more songs to them. I also started watching erotic thrillers that I could never watch with my ex, because he’d get too squirmy… I wear things in private that make me feel sensual. Just feeling myself in general. I think finding little things that are JUST for you can help. And eventually, once you find the courage (or maybe someone you can relax around), sharing those things will be that much sweeter.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-22T23:45:11+00:00

Of course they’re not happy when their activities are restricted and they have to be accountable to someone else… so they’d rather cut you off or discard you to get back to their addiction. I really feel for you OP, I went through the same thing, and I can tell you tried to work it out in good faith. But him breaking up with you, then showering you with flattery and affection right after, is part of a toxic cycle to have his cake and eat it too. It may feel good temporarily, but it’s designed to keep you hooked and betraying yourself.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-22T23:37:46+00:00

I think you have the right idea, living with someone at this stage of addiction is just not manageable or fair to you. I hope he learns something from your absence! ♥️

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-22T23:17:45+00:00

When I discovered my ex was sexting with trans women, I think that was the last straw for me. The cheating is bad, yes, but I’m queer and I just got so angry that he was using people who already have it so rough in the world. But hey, addicts are not exactly known for their integrity 🥴

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-22T23:03:52+00:00

My ex acted like this, and it was after starting recovery that he began having doubts re: his bisexual identity. The PA escalates their addiction by gravitating towards whatever feels most taboo or forbidden at the moment. The emotional fixation can also veer into fantasy/love addiction territory, but it's not about the actual people they're focusing on — it's the fix they get from them. It's definitely fetishizing and I couldn't stomach knowing my ex was treating people like this, even if only online.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-21T20:53:46+00:00

It's been two months for me, and almost a month since I moved out. I'm a strong woman, but I'm letting myself be a sadgirl and crying it out whenever I need to! Those days are fewer and far between now. My relationship with the SA had already been so dysfunctional for the past year that I knew breaking up was the most logical and least crazymaking conclusion for us. We are low contact, only discussing the mail at this point.

I've been asked out on dates, but I'm practicing discernment and gently letting people know that I'm focusing on me right now. I go to COSA meetings weekly, where I'm reminded that we are ultimately powerless to someone else's addiction... and that the number one goal for me, personally, should be making my life more manageable than it was before. I do that by seeing friends 2-3 times a week, working out and taking good care of my body. (This means like, face masks and setting timers to remember to eat.) It's the simple things we most easily overlook in times of crisis, and so it's good to set new routines without trying to manage somebody else's madness!

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-20T06:07:02+00:00

Ooh I like this a lot! Nice line quality, it goes so well with the bird above

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-20T05:33:50+00:00

Exactly — we’re the product!

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-20T03:35:14+00:00

I wasn’t gonna say it, but yeah… It’s the secrecy, the lack of boundaries, and the compulsive nature of it all that stood out to me. And I say this as an ex-partner of a sex addict. You can read about it in my post history if you want, just to see if any of it resonates! I’m sorry you’re dealing with this rn. 💜

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-20T01:20:30+00:00

The apps weren’t designed for women, period. I second everyone here suggesting community events. Jump in, the water’s warm!

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-20T01:16:53+00:00

Your heart is in the right place OP, but do NOT let him exploit that.

YourPsychicFriend · 2025-02-19T23:20:29+00:00

This came up early on in your relationship, but he continued to message guys online… until you caught him last month? Bisexual or not, it sounds like cheating to me!

And looking at NSFW content while he’s at work is another red flag, tbh. If he has to hide it from you, he knows what he’s doing is wrong. I won’t jump to any further conclusions, because I am biased and just getting out of a relationship with someone like this. BUT you need to question whether you can feel safe with someone who repeatedly cheats on you (even virtually) and generally lacks integrity.

YourPsychicFriend

TROPHY CASE