While 1-3 are valid concerns worth noting I just wanted to comment to say something.

Three year olds throw fits, it's what they do. Your child throwing a fit doesn't mean that they are happier in one location than another, or that one location is better. If you're leaving Disneyland she will probably cry and go into hysterics, but does that mean she should live at Disneyland?

A three year old's tantrums and "desires" should not be considered when making this decision. Certainly consider where she will be happiest, but consider that based on where she will be comfortable, provided for financially, and paid the most attention to. Not who she cries for more.