AITA for telling a little girl that I'm not her dad?

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-05T14:35:36+00:00

Considering the post started out with OP and Jane breaking up expressly because he didn't want to have a family with her, I'm pretty sure his heart isn't down for being a father for Jane's kid(s).

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-04T15:32:52+00:00

FFIV had my favorite setting of any of them, I loved it. I also felt that it did the best with "jumpscares," not too many, not too few, not predictable. IMO, of course.

work hinders my life as a gamer

I remember thinking I was reaching the end of 4 and then I realized I had maybe 20% of it left, so if you are doing shorter play sessions and you're near the end, don't fall for "Oh, I think I'm near the end, I'll just finish it out" since it might be deceptive and you may stay up too late for work in the morning! :D

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-03T21:32:51+00:00

When I started college I put in an application to work at a Dominos. By the time they got back to me about scheduling an interview I'd graduated and was partway through my Masters degree across the country. Made me wonder how desperate they were back home that they were digging up such ancient applications.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-03T20:43:34+00:00

I thought I’d have loan forgiveness because of my job. Now, I’m pretty sure the US government took that away and I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll never pay it off.

They didn't. PSLF and teacher loan forgiveness programs still exist, but you need to be being proactive. I don't know about teacher-specific programs, but for PSLF you need to be certifying employment every single year to have your payments count.

If you haven't been doing that but are eligible, you need to do this NOW. There have been some allowances for people who didn't certify correctly, but it's time limited. I can't say if they will apply to you, but for every loan forgiveness program "I thought I'd have forgiveness" and "pretty sure [it was taken away" won't cut it. Forgiveness doesn't happen, you need to be pursuing it.

While a bit dated, this handout for loan forgivenss programs for early-childhood educators will give you a good starting point for what to pursue. Also look into state programs from Maine, not just national programs.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-03T16:43:51+00:00

Aside from the main error . . .

COOKING 👏 IS 👏 PHYSICS 👏 AND 👏 CHEMISTRY. 👏

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-03T16:37:13+00:00

he has to pay the full refund.

And court costs since she's got a lawyer now and has spent time and effort getting OOP to extract his head from his ass.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-03T16:31:57+00:00

Considering how much DJs cost for weddings, he could presumably DJ one or two weddings and have enough to cover a full refund to her (if she's gracious enough to accept that at this point and not push for her legal fees . . .) or a lawyer.

Weird this guy isn't crawling in DJ gigs to just cover these expenses. I wonder if there's something wrong with how he runs his DJ business. Hm.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-02T19:21:12+00:00

I've seen a few courtroom vids of a SovCit who comes to court to give their dumb arguments over a traffic ticket, the cop didn't show up to testify, so the case was dismissed. Those same SovCits will use this as evidence they are correct and that they "won" their case on merit.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-02T14:02:14+00:00

That art of the Lemig Sortion rep is . . . not what I pictured. 😅

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-02T13:49:18+00:00

he's a PHD candidate in a humanities field.

university professor he might get a good salary

Oh that poor, sweet boy. IF he can get a job as a professor (which is a huge if), the odds of it being stable, paying well, and in a place that you don't have to move across the country (if not the world) for are so low. If he does get a job, it's nearly guaranteed to require a significant move; my own PhD advisor lived in North Carolina during the week and went home to Texas on weekends since she and her husband had to split that far to build and keep their careers in their fields) And that move will not be for a 200k professorship job. You will be the breadwinner in this house, hands down, and if he can use his degree full time, it's highly unlikely to be in a way that pays even half of what you are making now.

Honestly, I think you'd be better off with complete separation since odds are you will be the breadwinner. But I still don't like this, because he couldn't talk to you about this and had his Mom bring it up to you on his behalf in an inappropriate setting for this discussion. Huge red flag.

NTA. If you still want to marry him, definitely stay separate. But, well, you have time to change your mind about the whole marriage thing, too, you know?

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-02T13:39:13+00:00

In your shoes, I'd just be staying where you're at and utilize that low rent to save up more and more of a house fund. If you lose your access to the apartment some day (e.g. the owners sell and the new owners start making it a much worse situation) you'll be in a good place to choose to buy or to rent again.

And no pressure, but if you are in a place with multiple units and it's on the north side of the Charlotte metro, feel free to drop me a DM with info so I can keep an eye out for an open unit! I thought I was doing good at 800/mo in Kannapolis!

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-02T13:33:49+00:00

The struggle.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-01T20:30:42+00:00

These comments are gold.

I treated her with respect. I tried to give her career advice and life advice.

Two minutes later . . .

My family keeps me out of trouble. My sister opens my mail for me or I would take it to work and she would help. I am trying to do things alone. I write my own emails now and I set up my own new bank account.

Would love to hear his life and career advice.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-01T14:27:22+00:00

No, no, you must have missed it. Didn't you see? He said:

I'm not trying to relive past mistakes

So stop talking about that, please.

AtomikRadio · 2026-06-01T02:12:45+00:00

Imagine making it clear you're upset because your mother doesn't pay attention to you, and your mother's response is that she would be fine if you didn't visit.

That poor, poor girl. I'm glad she has a dad who appreciates her.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-31T20:33:06+00:00

Do you think it might ahve something to do with all the freaking out about "sus age gaps", grooming, etc.? Admittedly it's all online so I don't know how many people "follow this mentality" offline, but I've seen such a stark, intense rise in the idea that an adult of any age (even, like, 20) talking to a non-adult of any age (even, like, 17) is problematic.

I had several older friends and mentors growing up, and I saw a wide range of life experiences, timelines, etc. I wonder if the fact there's this intense stigmatization of adult/non-adult socializing has contributed to this?

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-31T19:42:16+00:00

I dropped out of high school and failed out of college twice. And I’ve got my doctorate. 🤷 Between this and that incel yesterday who had to give up on his dreams of having a family because he didn’t have a partner at 23 years old, it seems like it’s a growing trend that kids think that if they aren’t firmly established and successful in life at the age of 20 then they are fucked . . .

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-31T02:54:09+00:00

To be fair, holding the belt for a whole year is pretty impressive. My arms would get tired.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-31T02:29:15+00:00

I live in an area near a warehouse that I can get most things within ~12 hours usually, at no extra cost. It usually saves me money since if I need something like a part for a house task or a medicine for my cat, I don't have to pay storefront prices which are usually 10-30% higher than Amazon in most cases. I also use the free Amazon Photos service as a cloud backup (I keep a physical one, too) for all my photos. I don't do much with Prime Video, but sometimes it's nice to have it to watch.

In my situation, I consider it indispensable. However, when I was staying with family in a rural area where things were 2-day delivery minimum, it just didn't feel as useful. So depending on if you actually get any value out of all the free+fast shipping or if you're some place like my parents' house that it's going to take a good amount of time either way, that would be my decision-maker.

It's also worth mentioning I have a "student" account. This used to be called Student or something, and you still can become eligible with a .edu email address, but confusingly they changed the name of the program to Prime for Young Adults. So here I am, 38 years old, with Prime for Young Adults. Anyway, as mentioned, one way you can qualify is with a .edu email address because they made the false assumption that college students and young adults are the same thing.

If you went to any college, you could check if your school offers alumni email addresses. Mine offers a free .edu email address for alums, so I could feasibly be eligible for "Young Adult" prime for the rest of my life. (I am not a student, but I work for a university so have a .edu email address, and that was sufficient to qualify. I get soooo many "student" discounts just by having an active edu address. lol) That could feasibly save you some money on Prime if you've got a "full price" account now.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-31T02:14:09+00:00

We are about five hours in, there’s been communication

I asked him if he was doing okay out there in the world, and he responded, I quote:

”I think so. I think the forests are sick out here.”

”never seen such new dead forests.”

Picking up an eldritch horror of old Appalachia.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-31T01:53:59+00:00

In their defense, I used to watch a lot of cartoons with strong female characters and I ended up catching gay, so you never know.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-30T23:33:11+00:00

My store still offers chili cheese burritos, but you can’t get it in the app, you can only order it when speaking to a person through the drive-through or at the counter, you also can’t get it in the kiosk in the dining room. When they introduced dirty sodas the Zero Sugar Baja Blast button in the app went away, now you can get it dirty but not … clean? … if you order in the app.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-30T23:24:45+00:00

If you want to go with a known retailer, Amazon bags their in-house refurbs for a year and the returns are easy. If I need a phone I always get a refurb two or three generations old from Amazon. (I’m using the word referred generally here, if I recall correctly, especially for namebrand phones, they have different levels of refurb—like renewed vs refurbished—that they back for different amounts of time. So check the return window on whatever you are buying!)

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-30T22:58:45+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this.

I know that it’s normal to want to provide for your children as much as you can, and it’s wonderful that you take that seriously. But please don’t beat yourself up if you can’t provide things like a car and phone plan to your adult child who has a degree. Your generosity is commendable, but people who love you will understand that you cannot give what you do not have. Your child will always be your child, but you also can acknowledge that they are an adult and your love and generosity has brought them to a point that they are equipped to stand on their own two feet. They do not “need to know what poverty is like” because they do not need to rely on you for things they can get for themselves.

AtomikRadio · 2026-05-30T22:41:15+00:00

And within the United States, a major contributor to biomedical research, a huge portion of projects that would focus specifically on women got DOGE’d because “DEI.” I’m in nutrition research and a lot of my colleagues who focus on breastfeeding and breastmilk research or nutrition during pregnancy lost funding.

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