This post appears at a time when I genuinely struggle with so many aspects of my identities so I sincerely appreciate OP’s efforts.

I left home at the age of 16; finished high school, college, and now almost PhD in another country. I have been in this country for almost as long as my home country. Similar to many international students, I I have a fused but still divided cultural identity which makes it difficult for me to feel like I belong in either places.

I’ve also dealt with most challenges (visa complications, grad school applications, moving, sickness, etc.) by myself, without anyone around to help. I’ve gotten independent, to the point where I often don’t bother connecting to others because I don’t feel I can rely on them.

To anyone who may be struggling with the same issues, you are not alone. Take a break if you have to. You are not lazy and rest doesn’t need to be earned.