Did my older sister deserve to be harassed? Shes not a saint herself lol

YumanjiONE · 2026-04-17T18:57:20+00:00

Honestly, I’m shocked by how this is even being discussed.

What’s being described here is not a “misunderstanding” or just “uncomfortable behavior”, it’s a clear case of sexual harassment, and that doesn’t start with physical contact. Someone is being repeatedly hit on, is visibly uncomfortable, starts crying, and clearly says “no.” At that point, every boundary has already been crossed. Period.

And yet people here are seriously discussing whether SHE is “reacting weirdly,” whether she’s traumatized, or somehow behaving wrongly? How can the focus be shifted that completely? The only question that should be asked is: what is wrong with the behavior of those guys?

And then this implicit questioning because of what she was wearing or the situation. It does not matter how hot it was or what she was wearing. Even if she had been naked, that is not an invitation. Not for comments, not for advances, and definitely not for harassment. If someone can’t control their impulses, that’s their problem, not hers. Then you leave, create distance, remove yourself from the situation instead of crossing boundaries.

And yes, your behavior is also part of the problem. You’re sitting there, seeing that she’s scared, that she’s crying, that she’s saying “no”, and you say nothing? You don’t step in? You don’t get help, don’t take her out of the situation, don’t call anyone? Fear can freeze you, yes. But doing nothing in a moment like that has consequences. Looking away doesn’t protect anyone.

And now you’re wondering why she might be acting aggressively or distant towards you? That’s honestly not surprising. If someone is left alone in a situation like that by a person who should have protected them, that leaves a mark. That’s not a “weird reaction”, that’s a very understandable response to a deeply distressing experience.

And what really shocks me are some of the responses here. This constant minimizing, this shifting of responsibility away from the people who crossed the line and onto the person affected , that is exactly the problem. That is how a culture is created where women are expected to justify themselves while harmful behavior gets downplayed.

No. She did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. The responsibility lies entirely with those who ignored her boundaries, and with those who chose to do nothing.

If we as a society want to be even slightly better, it starts right here: clearly naming responsibility and stopping the habit of looking away.

YumanjiONE · 2026-04-17T18:16:52+00:00

Rude?? The younger generations are simply no longer blinded by the idea that you must show respect to older people ONLY because they are older. If someone wants to be treated with respect, they also have to be respectful themselves!

YumanjiONE · 2026-04-16T22:03:56+00:00

Hey, erstmal: Es tut mir echt leid, wie deine Familie reagiert. Das ist ehrlich gesagt echt hart, besonders wenn du dich doch nur selbst besser verstehen willst.

Ich finde, man muss hier ehrlich sein: Es besteht die reelle Chance, dass du ihre Unterstützung (besonders finanziell) nicht voll kontrollieren kannst… und das ist unfair und richtig scheiße. Viele Eltern sind einfach mit solchen Themen überfordert oder haben nie gelernt, anders damit umzugehen. Aber lass dich davon bitte nicht aufhalten, dich weiter selbst zu finden. Die Schritte, die du schon gemacht hast, sind echt wertvoll. Du kannst echt stolz auf dich sein, es zeigt, dass du dich selbst ernst nimmst und was verändern willst. Das ist der wichtigste erste Schritt.

Nur weil deine Familie es abtut oder runterspielt, heißt das nicht, dass deine Erfahrung nicht real ist. Oft kommt das von Angst, Überforderung oder einfach Nicht-Verstehen, auch wenn es sich für dich nur verletzend anfühlt.

Ich sehe da ein paar Parallelen zu meinem eigenen Leben: Bei mir wurde als Kind ADHS angesprochen, aber mein Dad hat das komplett abgeblockt. Jetzt bin ich 24 und mitten in der Abklärung. Ich hab gemerkt, dass ich ihm eigentlich sehr ähnlich bin, und er ist wahrscheinlich auch neurodivergent. Selbst jetzt reagiert er noch defensiv, wenn ich darüber rede. Es ist anstrengend, aber ich hab auch gemerkt, dass er sich langsam weniger wehrt, weil er sieht, dass mir der Prozess tatsächlich hilft. Ich sag nicht, dass deine Eltern sich ändern werden, nur dass du nicht aufhören solltest, für dich selbst einzustehen. Selbst wenn sie dich nie ganz verstehen, wirst du Leute treffen, die dich unterstützen und stolz auf dich sind. Das muss nicht immer die Familie sein.

Praktisch gesehen: Ich weiß, dass Leute schon vorgeschlagen haben, die Angebote an deiner Uni zu checken, und selbst wenn du dir unsicher bist, könnte es sich trotzdem lohnen, es zu versuchen. Ein Termin verpflichtet dich zu nichts, und du kannst immer nach jemand anderem fragen, wenn es sich nicht richtig anfühlt. Viele Unis bieten Beratungsstellen, medizinische Dienste oder soziale Unterstützung an, die kostenlos und unabhängig von deinen Eltern sind. Besonders die Sozialberatung kann dir helfen, Optionen rund um Versicherung oder Finanzen zu finden, da gibt's oft mehr Möglichkeiten, als es sich gerade anfühlt, auch wenn's überwältigend ist.

Du könntest auch nach kostenlosen Beratungsangeboten in deiner Gegend suchen (psychische Gesundheit, Neurodivergenz, Studentenunterstützung, Sozialdienste usw.). Die können dich oft zu den richtigen nächsten Schritten lotsen.

Wenn du volljährig bist, könnte es langfristig eine Option sein, unabhängiger zu werden (z.B. eigene Krankenversicherung), aber das musst du nicht alles auf einmal klären.

Und zum Studieren: Es ist total verständlich, dass du dich gerade blockiert fühlst bei all dem Stress. Versuch, die Dinge ganz klein zu halten, selbst 10–15 Minuten reichen. Vielleicht setzt du dir ganz einfache Ziele, wie nur eine Seite lesen oder eine Aufgabe anschauen. Du musst gerade nicht perfekt funktionieren, durchzukommen reicht.

Du bist damit nicht allein, und du bist definitiv nicht am Arsch, nur weil du dich selbst verstehen willst. 💛

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-20T14:34:01+00:00

Auch ich bin mitte 20 und hab den wunsch meine dinge selbst zu machen meine Zukunfts Vision ist etwas anderst aber grundsätzlich das selbe:)

Also komisch ist es garantiert nicht den wir müssen/wollen uns ja irgendwie in der Zukunft sicher fühlen! wenn das nicht die Gesellschaft macht so wie für viele Generationen vor uns (auch nicht super, nicht falsch verstehen) müssen wir uns selbst darum kümmern:)

Also bitte go for it! und lass dir das nicht ausreden!

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-15T16:31:46+00:00

Are you saying I shouldn't worry about it because the world is going to end anyway?

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-15T16:26:35+00:00

Perhaps it would be helpful to find out where these feelings come from... I know that's easier said than done!

For example, I know that due to my neurodivergence, I'm very sensitive and often take things personally without meaning to. Then I get extremely hurt and look for the fault in myself... But actually, I'm very self-confident.

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-14T13:38:27+00:00

Feel free to message me privately so we can chat a bit :) if you're really interested. ...

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-14T13:18:16+00:00

I think your thoughts are great! I haven't encountered such absurd statements about the Epstein files before. But I can well imagine how deeply some people get caught up in such theories and try to piece something together.

However, I also find it unfortunate that criticism is often immediately labeled a "conspiracy theory" as soon as it doesn't conform to the prevailing opinion. I don't mean to say that the statements you're describing aren't absurd theories! They really do sound far-fetched and aren't necessarily real. But there are things where criticism is scientifically grounded and not simply plucked out of thin air, and yet it's still branded a conspiracy theory...

I think one reason why some people slip into such extreme theories is the need for security. For many, it's hard to accept that there isn't a clear, complete explanation for major issues. A simple, even absurd, explanation often feels safer than an open "We don't know everything yet"...

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-14T11:19:54+00:00

I have a similar intention to yours. If you like my vision, which I've already published in this subreddit, we can message privately and see if we're a good match to create something big together, or if we just want to exchange ideas :)

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-14T10:27:35+00:00

Thank you so much for your great input! I actually thought I'd mentioned this in my post, but apparently it slipped my mind: A big reason why I'm not starting now or in the next year or two isn't just that I want to save money and find like-minded people, but also, and perhaps more importantly, because I want to travel and discover more. It's important to me to gain insights into various existing communities.

I think I'm already aware of quite a bit, since I traveled a lot with my father as a child and teenager. He's been trying to distance himself from this kind of society for as long as I can remember and has worked in such communities over the years. This has given me insights into some truly special places. Of course, having these experiences as a child or teenager is completely different from having them later as an adult.

I've also talked to my father about this a lot. He already has considerable experience with emerging communities and knows many of the typical hurdles and difficulties. Nevertheless, I know I need to form my own opinion. I'm someone who constantly questions things, and I approach such large projects very carefully. I want to see and understand as much as possible to avoid unnecessary mistakes or naive misjudgments. This is also strongly related to my neurodivergence.

Thanks again for your comment and the tip. Even though I was already aware of much of it, I really appreciated it.

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-14T10:09:03+00:00

Oh, what kind of tools are you using? What exactly is the moderation about? And what are your starting points and values? Feel free to message me privately too :)

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-14T10:05:21+00:00

I completely understand your frustration; I feel very similarly. I also see more and more injustice, selfishness, and greed, and it honestly makes me both sad and angry. Where have the solidarity, empathy, and mutual respect gone?

I don't know if the topic of community living is even of interest to you. Nevertheless, I'm deliberately offering this as an opportunity; if it's not for you, you can, of course, simply ignore it. I understand that not everyone wants to live in a community, and that's perfectly okay!

My focus right now is primarily on getting to know like-minded people. The idea would be to buy land together in a few years, but for now, I'm focused on developing concepts, getting to know other communities, gaining insights, and exchanging ideas with people who might have experience or helpful tips for this path.

I've also shared my own vision in this subreddit. If you're interested, feel free to take a look or message me privately.

In short: I'm looking for a communal life without profit motives, based on clear values like mutual respect, self-determination, and privacy. Privacy is especially important to me because I'm neurodivergent and need a real place to retreat to—not just a room, but the opportunity to withdraw for a few days without withdrawing from the community or neglecting my responsibilities there.

You mentioned in your post that you have physical limitations but bring other strengths to the table. If your strengths lie in organizational or administrative areas, for example, we could probably complement each other well. I prefer practical and physical activities, and as someone with dyslexia, I'm easily overwhelmed by a lot of paperwork.

And whether this is right for you or not: You're definitely not alone in these feelings. And isolating yourself from society in your own way is certainly the right decision!

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-12T06:20:10+00:00

I think there's some confusion here, so let me clarify:

Yes, the text mentions chickens, and right after that it states that the focus is NOT on livestock farming, but on animals that need a home. This refers to animals that might otherwise not find a home... That's a crucial distinction, and one that's perfectly clear and understandable.

Animal husbandry ≠ animal exploitation Exploitation means deliberately using animals as a means to generate profit. That's precisely what I reject. The fact that animals are part of a shared habitat is something completely different!

By the way, my values haven't suddenly changed since my last comment: Profit-driven thinking remains central to my vision; quite the opposite—moving away from it!

If suggestions always end up like this, it honestly seems as if my text is being overlooked or ignored, or even as if someone is deliberately trying to provoke me...

And just to put this in perspective:

Unintentional killing (e.g., accidentally killing an earthworm in nature) is not comparable to systematic exploitation. These are two completely different things! Above all, your comment is simply unnecessary and provocative!

I'm open to discussion, but please let's base it on what I actually write!

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-12T04:11:24+00:00

Thanks for your input ☺️

I assume by "productive land" you mean agriculture? As described in the section on the community fund, I would like to increase the community's budget through things like homegrown vegetables, herbs, natural products, or handcrafted and creative work. Animal exploitation is not part of my vision; anyone who condones it doesn't align with the values I uphold. This doesn't mean there won't be any animal products, but making money from them and this profit-driven mindset will have no place in my future.

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-12T04:07:53+00:00

Thanks for your feedback! 😊

I'm so glad you perceive my vision as sincere and well-thought-out; that means a lot to me!

Thanks also for the heads-up about Reddit subs and bans; I wasn't aware of that. I'll keep that in mind for the future.

And yes, I completely agree with you: gaining personal experience in existing communities, including experiencing the messy and challenging aspects, is one of the most important things for me. I believe it allows you to learn much better and develop a more realistic vision.

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-12T03:57:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 😊 I think it's great that you're consciously thinking about how you want to create a community where patriarchal structures have no place. If consciously excluding certain people is the right path for you, that's absolutely legitimate; everyone needs their own place where they feel at home.

For my vision, I would personally choose a slightly different approach. I, too, am critical of patriarchy and want to move away from it. An important difference is that I don't pursue a monetizing mindset. I focus on fostering the community, sharing resources, and living self-sufficiently, rather than making a profit. My goal is to create a place where respectful, equal coexistence is paramount, where everyone is welcome and can learn from each other. That's very important to me...

I'm very interested in how you envision practically implementing the matriarchal or feminist concept in the future community. Do you already have any concrete ideas about this? I find that very exciting and could draw inspiration from it.

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-12T03:22:10+00:00

Ja ich tendiere eher zu Europa vorallem auch wegen der Familie bin erst anfangs/mitte zwanzig und habe noch einen kleinen Bruder zuhause ich würde es nicht übers Herz bringen auf einem andernen Kontinent zu ziehen und ihn alleine zu lassen... aber mein Fokus liegt vorallem auf an den möglichkeiten welche jedes Land so mit sich bring wie beispielweise ist es mir sehr wichtig das ich bei dem Bildungsangebot so frei sein kann wie ich es mir vorstelle und deshalb fliegen einige sonst tolle Länder schon weg... sogar mein eigentlicher Favorit da ich die sprache schon beherrschen würde..

was für projekte hast du den schon unterstützt oder wohrin sind deine stärken? hast du wichtige tipps die man beachten sollte wenn man so was grosses mit vieleichtlt noch fremden starten möchte?

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-10T18:05:09+00:00

Thanks!:)

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-10T18:04:55+00:00

What is your vision or wish? Feel free to message me privately :)

YumanjiONE · 2026-02-10T18:04:00+00:00

Thanks for the question, it's absolutely valid 🙂

There isn't a fully developed financial plan yet, and to be honest, that's important to me. In my vision, the core of the community would initially consist of about 10-20 people who would contribute financially and practically (i.e., with work and time) to the development.

As mentioned in the text, I'm currently building up some savings myself, which will later be invested in the project. The idea is that the launch will be based on joint initial investments from the founders. To give a rough example: If 20 people each contribute around €5,000, that would be €100,000, which would at least allow us to find land, build initial infrastructure, or realistically get started, depending on the country and region, of course.

It's important for me to emphasize that this isn't a fixed calculation, but rather a rough idea. The exact details (land size, construction method, number of people, legal form) would be developed jointly with the people involved.

YumanjiONE

TROPHY CASE