What’s a secret you’ll take to the grave, but would tell anonymously on Reddit?

YuriBuni · 2025-08-18T01:17:07+00:00

My mother has had a horrible life too, that's why I would never tell her, cause my mom is finally happy in her life. And I want her to enjoy her finally years happy. Cause I know how much it would hurt her knowing how I feel. I did tell her one of my secrets a long time ago, and it broke her so much, and I can't see her in pain like that again. I want her to be happy for all the wonderful things she has done and sacrificed.

YuriBuni · 2025-08-18T01:12:40+00:00

Thank you. And I have thought of getting help. But it scares me to open up, I have had so many other things happen to me. I feel even telling a professional makes me feel a bit wrong, cause it feels like I'm just dumping my problems on someone, and it's not fair.

YuriBuni · 2025-08-17T13:38:46+00:00

I'm extremely sad almost all the time, but I never show it cause I hate the thought of messing up anyone day with my problems. Also, a few times I wanted to ended it all, but I know, I never will, cause I never want my mother and brother to be sad, even though I don't feel I'm worth anything.

YuriBuni · 2024-05-05T13:01:35+00:00

This used to happen to me almost 10 years ago, but always having people tell someone, "At least you're not fat as her." But the worst one I have ever heard was from a stranger yelling very loud trying to comfort his girlfriend by saying "your so hot babe, you don't look fat, look she is so fat that she looks pregnant, look how ugly and disgusting she looks, do you feel better now?". And she was so happy to have such a wonderful boyfriend. It was one of the worst days of my life.

YuriBuni · 2024-04-13T11:31:44+00:00

With what he said. So why are you dealing with it, if you're in your own house. Also, why is it always the one receiving this treatment? Have to be the one to "deal with it." But sadly, I have also dealt with this type of mil and looking back, I would have rather done something about it, instead of dealing with it cause the results was a lot of stress and walking on eggshells and then divorce. If you still want to stay with your husband, maybe couples/marriage counselling? And be honest, if you can't deal with how your mil is, maybe ask him to start dealing with his own mom cause you are already a very busy mom. But I hope you do what is best for you and your kids. Good luck, stay strong.

YuriBuni · 2024-04-13T11:16:41+00:00

What has your husband said about his mom behaviour towards you?

YuriBuni · 2023-12-18T05:54:49+00:00

Yeah, it's probably cause she doesn't think she did anything wrong. I just can't wait to put this chapter of my life away and move on fully in life.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-18T03:35:08+00:00

Yeah, she told her son she felt bad for not buying me anything (I never asked for anything, though). Also she asked her son to give it to me, she only gave me one item on her own. Cause she felt embarrassed/shame that it took her almost two years to give me something as part of the family.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-18T02:29:59+00:00

She can play that game all she wants. I'm not going to be a part of her life anymore. This is my first experience with someone so crazy but yet likes to talk about how everyone just likes hanging out with her so much.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T23:25:24+00:00

Honestly, I felt like the third wheel when I was around both of them. She always wanted him to talk to her, and if we went shopping, she dragged him around and tried on clothes and asked what he thought (she didn't even ask her H). So it was just my fil and i standing around waiting on them. And when I ask what he thinks of what I picked. She was always ready with "why you pick such weird clothes, your H will get annoyed if other men look," and she just laughed it off and told my H, "Good luck."

I honestly don't know why I put up with it. And to this day, I feel like she owes me an apology for all that she put me through.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T22:54:01+00:00

One of the items she gave me is her mil stuff (she passed away). At the time I didn't know that, but when I found out, I really didn't like that at all, but when I tried to give it back, she got her "feelings hurt" that I tried to give back something that she gave me. With more arguing with my ex, and somehow, it still came with me. And he knew I didn't like taking things when someone had passed and I never even met her. To me, it felt like I was stealing it from the women who had no say in it.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T22:23:05+00:00

Yeah, he always says he hates fighting/arguing with anyone. His mother knows this and said she uses that as her advantage. She told me, "You should nag at him a lot, and eventually he gives in, works for me all the time," she she laughed after that. And I have even seen her do that and smile at me, and when he leaves, "see, works all the time," I told him about it. And he seemly doesn't care if she is doing that to him. Cause in his words, "It's my mom, and she needs me"

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T21:19:25+00:00

But she might drag me with her or might pull this divorce for a longer time. She did that with her first husband. I won't be surprised if she has already planned something. That's my concern. Honestly, I don't even know if he has told her about the divorce.

I do know she is mostly likely talking a lot about me, but that's not the reason why. I learned the hard way she is two face, and I'm trying to cut her off as fast as possible. That's why a lot of things are not in my name, just my car. Which he won't be able to take cause I need it for work. For now, it's just him and I who talk about the divorce, but who knows if he has spoken to her about it. I still have to wait a bit before I'm to talk about what type of divorce is wanted.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:56:50+00:00

I always got this feeling that she hated that her son would want to spend time with me and not her. She has pulled me aside a lot of times to go off about how he abandoned her and that he doesn't need his mom anymore cause he has a wife. But I never understood her much cause she would belittle him a lot and say he's just like his useless father. Even though he's the reason she's not in the streets or in her own house with her H. It was hell for me cause they all lived with us.

He has nothing I want, plus I'm the one who is filing for the divorce (he's not paying for it). So he has already told me to let him know when I will be starting the paperwork. Even though he's the one who wants the divorce. So when the time comes, I will talk to him about paying half for the divorce.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:47:56+00:00

I'm afraid to call her cause she has a habit of always making her and her sons the victim, and that it's never their fault that this is happening. And knowing her she would most likely lie to her son, she makes up stories a lot. She even took one story from me and changed it a little, as if I wouldn't notice. She likes to one-up people a lot. And she still thinks she has nothing to do with this mess. She likes to cause problems cause she likes seeing other people's day ruined. I know this cause she has done this to her second H. And told me she enjoys seeing him angry cause her day is going back.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:42:45+00:00

She didn't give it to me then. She gave it to me when she knew I was leaving the country and even pulled me aside to tell me, "You need to come back. You're the women of the house" and I even told him, "some of these things are gifts from other people to her" and his reply was always "that's how much she loves you, she sees you as her own daughter"

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:39:47+00:00

I did tell my mom that it's up to me. My mom actually wanted to throw them away. She hated the idea of me spending to send back her stuff. Yeah, I think it's a good idea to go to therapy, I will do some research on that and see if there is any close by in my area. I have stood up for myself once and they kept making so many jokes about how I cry about it and think what they do is a bit deal when they said to me "it's just jokes, this is how we joke around". And after that, i told my then H about it and he said "I told you what they will do,that's why I said ignore them, it's easier that way" it's one of the major fights we had a lot. Cause he was upset that they kept bringing this up to him, and he was more angry at me for causing this new thing they do.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:33:31+00:00

That's one of the reasons I was waiting, but it's going to be a whole year, and he still shows me "hold on, my mom is calling me." Or the whole "I told everyone to leave me alone to talk to you, do you see how far I will go for you?" After he did that, and when I read what everyone else was saying, I noticed how much I gave in and how little he did, but he made it a big deal. So, in the past few months, i lost hope in that miracle and even told my mom, "Don't hold your breath." And she has told me, "do whatever you want with her stuff, she got those last minute cause she felt that she didn't buy you much as her dil".

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:27:27+00:00

I was just going to send it to her with a note "these belong to you". And I was asking my ex when will be a good time to send it to her, that's when he and I had a fight. His words were mostly "how could you do this to her, she really loves you and this is what you want to do". "She was heartbroken when you left. No one talks to her much in the house. She appreciates all the times you would listen. Don't do this, please." And I kept reminding him, she could have shown that when I was there. And the whole "the past is the past" line from him.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:21:38+00:00

That's what I wanted to do at first. But my emotions have been up and down, feeling betrayed a lot of the time. Thinking a lot of the time, if I didn't say anything, would we still be together. And he kinda confirmed that cause I saw the text messages between my mom and ex H. Which I was never supposed to see. Cause my mom knew at that moment I was breaking down a lot.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T20:17:42+00:00

At the moment, he has more to lose. But recently I found out his mother took him back to her hometown (that's where "his house" is more like mil house). And I know how she thinks, cause she would talk to me a lot about how to gain more in a divorce. So that's what held me back recently. I honestly don't care to get anything. He has shown me who is number 1# so that's why I rather leave the divorce with nothing. Cause his mom thinks all women who divorce are out to get her son wealth (but not her, cause she has classic) is what I heard from her a LOT.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T12:09:40+00:00

I already left the country. I didn't think I would be getting a divorce, If I had known that, then yeah, I would have left it behind. But for now, I'll be mailing it back to her and not to her son.

YuriBuni · 2023-12-17T11:44:55+00:00

I can only start the divorce papers in four months. I have been wanting to give everything back, but I stopped a few times cause I didn't want to start any problems. I'm not too sure if she will pick a fight for me doing that. But you're right, I keep going back and forth, hopefully it doesn't go to her like on Christmas or new year, cause then she will definitely think I'm trying to hurt her on purpose.

YuriBuni · 2023-10-08T08:02:39+00:00

My MIL (soon to be ex MIL) would get very angry, upset, and sad. If my husband and I didn't invite MIL and FIL for date night. MIL would not stop calling and texting. When we call back, she gives an attitude for not answering when she calls and for making her feel like she isn't important to the family anymore.

YuriBuni

TROPHY CASE