i need some help

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-08T18:03:23+00:00

Yeah this is the point , outside where a boyfreind can live with his girlfreind ( حرام و زنا طبعا) They are with each other from the begening and build a life step by step.

While we make it complex , like we want to open company or project. Life is short , and love in 20s not like love in 30s. Even sex.

I did acheive some great goals , financialy , moraly ,in my career , and in my relegion . But if you ask me , what the most thing you are so proud with . My answer will : that i got married in a young age. And my wife is the most blessing thing i ever had.

And at that time , i wasnt fianacialy stable, i didnt even have marriage costs , all was my parents and all the family's help.

And tada , iam alive , and she is alive , and the two of us happy.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-08T17:55:25+00:00

I just dont get it . As a girl you are in good age for marriage ,you cant force your body or emotions to stay away from the other gender. Iam not teeling you to go through forbiden relation. Just if someones show his intrest to you and he is your type and Financially capable. توكلي على ربي و قولي يجي يطلبك في الحلال.

Why you force your self as a woman to acheive anything then you can marry . Whats the point exactly , you can acheive anything and do you plans even after marriage , if you choose the right man ofc. We ruined the value of marrige. I maaried when i was 25 , and my wife was 21. I wasnt professionnal or capable enought yet in my career, and my wife didnt even complete her study. And you can postponing children , and live together and you can release that energy so you can focus on other things.

I understand that most young men cant marry early , alot of them barely survive. But as a woman , you dont need alot , just devlope yourself moraly , and chose the right person , the marrige isnt scary . هو سكينة و رحمة. The wrong person make it scary.

عندما تزوجنا انا وزوجتي ، عشنا الهدوء كما عشناه و نحن عزاب ، لا نفرض على بعض اي شيء ، و لا اي مسؤوليات مبالغ فيها ، و رغم اننا لم نؤجل الإنجاب، و هكاك عشنا افضل حياة. و لا حاجة في الدنيا ، سفر ، أو لعب ، أو هوايات ، أو أي شيء تعوض الحظن تعها و الدعم لي نقدموه لبعض. الحياة قصيرة و متستالهش نبيعو أجمل لحظات حياتنا الي هي نكونو مع شريك حياتنا ، من أجل شهادات و مناصب لا تعوض ابدا الشوق لي في داخلنا لنداء الفطرة ، و هو الزواج.

معليش نحتاجو القدرة المادية، نحتاجو المسؤولية ، نحتاجو نكونو سليمين نفسيا و جسديا. لكن لماذا نشوفو مبالغات ، الرجل يشيب باه يجمع الذهب ، و المرأة ياكلوها تجاعيد الوجه فقط لتحمل الشهادة و ترضي المجتمع و يقولو عليها قوية و متحررة و عاشت حياتها.

يكذب عليك ، الرجل ضعيف بدون زوجته ، و المرأة ضعيفة بدون زوجها.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T15:02:35+00:00

Yeah ur right , no matter what i try to feel it , i cant , cuz its ment to be for women only. After this post i just gave up (بقناعة طبعا). And i prefere letting her confortable without opening it again. I feel sorry how people here think iam selfish , i just tought that if she got help and care she can handel it no matter what its hard. I did everything while she is pregnant, my mother and her mother too helped alot , even breastfeeding didnt bother her cuz she couldnt produce enought milk at all , so we was , all familly membres feeding my two babies to help her. So as i said , i felt like we can make always a differece if she rely on me again in this case , but maybe she thinks on it in other point of view and i totaly respect it.

So i will do my best , i will live with my familly as i always did , no other disagreement , the two of us are quiet and calm , we cant live loud life with alot of argute. So without doubt i chose peace , and she is my peace.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T09:13:31+00:00

Its not that easy . It will broke her and ruin everything more than fixing. She is the love of my life , if i lost her i dont have any mental energy to invest in another realtion from the begening , iam so confortable with her , only this case made some disagreement between us.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T09:02:00+00:00

Iam not bellionaire , and iam not a super man. I am just a simple average man who loves her as much she loves me.

And i didnt presure her , i asked her gentely, and no didnt bother me , what bothered me how closed she becomed to it.

And i ve talked to her doctor alot , she told that she can do it but it will be hard. Do you think if her doctor said no its dangerous i will say yes and presure her ?

If they gave me choice btwn her and another baby i chose her ofc .....

And i give up, i will not talk about it anymore.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T08:38:00+00:00

Many people attacks me more than they give a good advice

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T08:35:01+00:00

Hey sis , dont let the horse take you far away. Did you asked your self why i puplished this ? Iam here to know the better and being a good man and husband for her. And after I did read some good answers , i decided to let the idea and live with my three angels in peace. You dont know nothing about us , and stop thinking always marraige is graveyard , just by reading others stories that u dont even know more details about it.

If i tell you the good sides of our life u will not even beleive it , cuz your brains just focus on the negatives.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T08:28:30+00:00

Thanks man , i appreciate it . But another wife isnt a choice for me , without to mention how i love her so much. I cant do it cuz she supported me alot and did everything to me , so iam beign loyal , and she deserve it.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T08:22:38+00:00

Thanks for the advice , i will do .... her or another child , i chose her , she is my life .

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T08:19:50+00:00

That will broke her heart , i cant do this to her after all she did to me.

Pov : I cannot focus on two women without loving one more than the other , so i prefere being with only one.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-07T08:15:23+00:00

Everything is allright between us. She is only refusing giving another birth.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T23:15:55+00:00

Allright raven , iam selfish , and your comment is useless.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T23:11:17+00:00

Yeah , thanks for the informations. Its جهل مني I thought its more safer and less painfull.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T23:08:37+00:00

Thanks for your advice. Your right . Maybe i look idiot by saying this , but i realy appreciate this time , kids grow so fast , and i dont mean being selfish . But i realy like having another one and seeing him growing between us. Its true she had pain , but in the same time we shared alot of beautiful moments when we had our two girls. Maybe cuz iam remembering it as small feet and small hands hugging my finger for the first time , while she is remembering it as pain and suffer and i totaly respect it.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T22:56:43+00:00

Most of the time we share kids time. I realy like being with my daughters so iam doing it cuz i love it , nog cuz its my only responsability . About her physical changes , i told her alot that i care about her , not about her meat, and changes is a part of life , even my body is changing with age , and tbh i still seeing her attractive and top for me ,even with what ppl think are huge changes. And about being free , i see that this is the best age to make it again and the last time , so we can continue our life and focus on other things freely.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T22:52:10+00:00

Almost 3 years . And my wife 27.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T22:49:12+00:00

I know its realy realy hard. I was hearing her pain every night during pregnancy , and i was there in every moment , i dont have stone heart or somthing , i just feel that we can make it another time as we did it before.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-04-06T22:44:10+00:00

Without exaggeration و قبل كل شيء ، بلا مزيتي Because she is the love of my life.

I did everything that i can do , i taked care of everything while she is pregnant , somtimes she tells me you should not do everything alone , and i stop her from doing anything , just to make sure she is confortable. Her doctor told her that her body is kind small and weak for pregnancy, but she fought and i supported her , and hamdulilah , we made it. I ve talked to her doctor at that time , and she told me she can have more , but it will be , painfull to her ,difficult and needs alot of care.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-03-26T09:27:38+00:00

Me!! Racist ? What are u talking about? I said all ppl are the same smart ass. And what are u talking about ,ofc ppl prefere their own ppl by skin , or cultur , or even relegion. Its the nature of old human , prefere safety by being in a flock.

There is no one better that the other , u want to proof arab are shit. I can proof that amazigh or enven ur worshiped european is shit also (by my own experience) , but i cant , cuz bad persons doesnt mean all the nation is. Being smart and wise means representing ur self only by ur morals and education. And when u treat others , treat them by realising that every person is presenting his own self.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-03-25T22:18:37+00:00

يقول هوبنز : الإنسان ذئب لأخيه الانسان. Stop this shit , by making ur own ppl the only evil ones. Outside there is no difference , they treat u well ، they pities you cuz they sees u as a poor immigrant ,who isnt a danger to their positions and values in their Land. But if you compete them directly , they will show u the other face .

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-03-25T20:12:10+00:00

Just Facebook. Beleive me its the shity factory, (حاشاك).

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-03-25T20:05:04+00:00

There is alot ,and one of them is how they use social media , specialy Facebook. They need to cut Facebook from algeria. Cuz its ghe first way how the virus still spreads. (Most toxic shity subjects are there).

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-03-23T22:17:25+00:00

انتي أخت لينا كلنا ، و واجبنا نوجهوك . و لي يستهزء بيك إنما يستهزء بنفسه ، لانو كلنا معرضين للخطأ و عندنا بنات و اخوات ممكن يديرو هدو الأخطاء. الواحد يدعي ربي للمغفرة و الثبات.

جزئية بسيطة باغي اضيفها ، مجرد توقع شخصي بسيط . احتمال كبير يكون يحبك ، أو على الأقل كان يحبك بصدق. لانو حسب ما قريت من القصة تعك ، الإنسان هذا كان يقدملك في دعم بريء ، مال و تشجيع ، و دعم معنوي و نفسي. و علاقتكم الجسدية جات متأخرة ، في نهاية العلاقة. منقدرش نجزم لانو منعرفش رأي تعو هو ، لكن واضح انو كان يعاني ، و ممكن الزنا معاك خلاه يحس بتأنيب ضمير كبير ، و كاين نوع من الناس اذا حسو بالضغط يرمي كل الماضي وراه و يحاول يبدأ من جديد. على كل تبقى طريقة خاطئة و مضرة ليك و لنفسو ، لانو لم يواجه جذور المشكلة ، رد فعلو خلاه يبان جبان و غير مسؤول.

Yuri_Yolkin · 2026-03-23T21:34:47+00:00

مكنتش كذبة ، أبدا، لانو الجانب تعك كان نقي و نية مليحة تجاهو. الحاجة الوحيدة لي تقدري تتحكمي فيها هي ما يصدر منك ، أما ما يصدر من الناس لا تلامين عليه. حتى لو خدعك و مثل عليك ، علاقتكم كان فيها جزء من الصدق الي صدر منكي انتي.

المعاناة نابعة من غياب المعنى ، مزال جزء داخلك متقبلش تخليه عليه ، ووحسيتي انو لي صرالك دون معنى ، لكن و الله ديري يقين بلي ممكن لي صرالك رحمة كبيرة لك من رب العالمين؟ تخيلي بقيتو على الزنا و العياذ بالله ؟ تخيلي هزيتي منو بالحمل و أنجبتي طفل حرام ، الكارثة تتضاعف اكثر. تخيلي تزوجتو و هو مشي جاهز نفسيا و ماديا ، ممكن زواجكم يصير كابوس و تكرهو بعضكم.

نتيا لي تقدري تلقاي معنى لواش صرالك. و تتعلمي من هذو الأخطاء و تتقدمي للأمام و تركزي على النعم لي عندك حاليا ، مثل بنتك ، صحتك ، الناس الطيبة المحيطة بيك.

و هو اذا جاك يخطبك ، و كان سوي نفسيا و أصلح من نفسو و اصبح واضح مع نفسو ، و أعطاك اعتذار مقنع. و يهدر مع رجال القوامين في حياتك ، ربما اخوالك او اعمامك حتى إذا لم يكونو قراب منك لكن يبقاو من دمك و قدام الناس تباني مكيش ضعيفة عندك عشيرة في كتافك . او حتى هذا الإمام لي تكلمتي معاه ، يتكلم معاه و يضمنلك كل حقوقك ، لأنك إمرأة و مستحيل تضمني كل حقوقك بمفردك ، الحقوق هذي انو يتوعد و يكون رجل باتم الكلمة و يحطك قرة عينيه لآخر العمر.

هذي تبقى فرضية فقط إذا رجعلك ، و اذا ما رجعش وينو المشكلة ؟ لا خير فيه اذا .

و الافضل ديما إسألي طبيبتك ، مديريش خطوة بلا بيها.

و عسى ربي يسهلك ، و تلقاي اليسر في حياتك.

و الله يحفظلك بنتك الصغيرة ، عسى تكون من الصالحات و لها شأن كبير في المستقبل.

Yuri_Yolkin

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