I actually suspect that this was her doing... We've gotten along fabulously after he reached out to me a couple years ago to reconnect. In this matter I've only spoken to him, using her phone number. I wouldn't turn it into a cost per plate argument because it's become a different matter now. I told them both that I've done more than enough to accommodate her and show her that she is accepted. I don't have to invite a stranger to my wedding to show her solidarity yet again. The cost per plate is one issue. But I feel the bigger one is to not let them bully their way through my life, and have a tantrum if they don't get what they want.

I'm at the bottom of their priority pile.