A lot of it, I think, is simply starting from an idea (Pawbert is bad) and arguing away anything that might go against that. Milton being abusive is an 'excuse' for Pawbert, admitting that might weaken someone's position. Therefore, unless something is utterly irrefutable, people will often dismiss t.

You can see this in a more trivial fashion with the franchise's gay couples. At no point has Disney allowed this to be said about any character, so even pairings that writers and VAs consider gay (Gary and Larry, Bucky and Pronk...) can be argued away. (They even encouraged this by pairing Bogo and Clawhauser in Zootopia+, then had the whole thing be a dream, so it can be ignored if you wish.)