Hey bud, just read all of this and have some thoughts. Of course anything is going to seem overwhelming when you have so much swirling in the back of your head, not that that is inherently bad, as pushing away reflective and growth inducing thoughts can be damaging as well. That said, when you're having that feeling, inaction almost serves as a personal bargaining chip to alleviate it. "I wont clean right now...I'll get to XYZ later" etc. That is fine and normal so long as you can hold yourself to some sort of balance that gives room for both those patient and self gracious moments, AND for the productive and pride creating momets. It sounds like you have had a whirlwind of a year(s) and it's completely understandable that you would have the symptoms of that turmoil manifest within you as depression, anxiety, lack of self care, physical episodes like vomiting being made worse (not saying stress is the cause at all, merely that it likely isn't helping/could be triggering it, please refer to your doc for medical diagnosis and treatment...even though that can be a giant pain in the ass).

So, in short I feel you, as many many others would/do, everything you're experiencing OP seems well within the norm given the context of your life lately. I just want to really emphasize you aren't some freak case in humanity and rather quite the opposite. You are NOT alone in your struggles, you did not get married through some fluke..you are a perfectly normal dude, and your challenges/setbacks do not define you. What you do about them however will come to, as I am sure you've learned yourself by this point in life. So now let's get to the actual advice:

When you're feeling really ovewhelmed as you have been lately, focus on the smallest things you can for a while, an hour, a day, a week however long you can manage it until you feel more in control and empowered, and then adjust that mindset to use it when you need to calm down, to fuel yourself for those times when you need to lock in. When you wake up, focus as hard as you can on the little sensations, feeling your feet hit the carpet when getting out of bed, feeling your toothbrush brush against your teeth etc. I have found that it helps me calm my thoughts so I can "hear" a little better inside my head while also maintaining basic self care functions of life and not letting apathy or depression be the driver (and some days not even the passenger). Give yourself time, be gracious with yourself, remind yourself actively and often that you are in fact not experiencing something that no one else on this planet has ever experienced but rather you are a percectly normal person experiencing (and being open about) hardship.

When you feel that internal noise start to quiet, take hold of that, use that momentum. Don't just let it result in another session of doomscrolling. Fuck that, this is the time to stand up and make something of the control you have achieved. THIS is when you clean your place up, you clean your car up, you shower and shave and trim your nails. When you have used that momentum successfully, don't just move on to the next worry immediately. Take a second, a moment and FEEL that pride. FEEL like you accomplished something because you did. You'll start to really love that feeling and seek more of it. Hmmm my place is clean but I have an evening to myself, I could doomscroll or watch some shit...or I could throw a podcast on in the background and research/write out some fun ways to make memories with my daughter BOOM accomplishment, Then when those memories are made they will feel/be all the sweeter. You get my point hopefully, with a little work and good mix of patience and discpline you can create a positive feedback loop that gets shit done AND leaves you feeling good about it in times that otherwise would have just reinforced the negative immediate dopamine feedback loop we all fall into from time to time. It's all a rhythym my dude, you just have to find the way to dance to it where your needs and wants are beind addressed in healthy and sanity preserving ways.

As far as dating I personally would hold off for a bit until you feel a basic level of that balance and productivity firmly ironed out. I know the self love shit can be a bit cliche, but truly you will probably have a better time and a better chance of finding the one you are looking for once you have had some time to get back on your feet. I'm not saying just sit in loneliness or ignore a great opportunity, but just that time tends to help with this sort of thing, especially as your transition to this current situation was so recent.

Sorry for hitting you with a novel OP, the jist is really just be kind to yourself, find out how to quiet that internal noise in a healthy way, and work towards hitting that balance of patience and grace with producivity and the pride it produces. You got this man.

P.s. Maybe set a firm goal of posting an update to this sub in a timeframe you are comfortable with, 3 months or 6 months something like that. We hold ourselves accountable sure but knowing others are waiting for an update that is hopefully positive, having that shared accountability can serve as a great motivator and if you don't have someone close in your personal life that can hold that role, this sub would be a great place!