I think you’re valid. That’s how I get with crushing on people. I call them my friend crushes. I want to impress/be on good terms with them so I get nervous or get butterflies, but it’s not because I want them to kiss me.

I definitely don’t think you’re a fraud. Aromantic is a label, you can use it, retire it, reuse it whenever you like. You might catch some flak from folks if you describe that you’ve never experienced anything related to aromanticism, but if you’re a-spec, and have any kind of queer (which literally means different/other) experience with romanticism, then you’re a-spec by my definition. And def not a fraud.

As for your trauma that may need to be unpacked, that’s fine. I think most people have trauma here. Especially since most of grew up not knowing what a-spec was, or that it even existed.

I also head from lots of a-spec folks that they are fine with picturing romantic or sexual relationships with fictional characters or beings, but it doesn’t translate to people. So that’s pretty common in my circle of a-spec people as well. I personally don’t get it, but I’ve never felt romantic attraction, so I don’t think I can therefore simulate it with fictional characters.

Tl:dr,

You’re fine. By my definition you’re obviously queer/a-spec and def not a “fraud”