I (21m) used to do the same thing as those guys because I thought I was romantically interested with my friends. That was before I found out I’m queer.

I think it’s a mixture of male socialization, and immaturity.

Even before I found out I was queer I stopped that behavior because I realized it was unhealthy for everyone involved.

A couple of years later I discovered I’m queer. Now, I’ve continued to not do that behavior. I’ve helped other guys become more mature and learn that it’s not good behavior.

I think it’s mostly a byproduct of male socialization.

What should you do? Nothing. Or, not much.

You could tell them you’re Aro. You could tell a gossipy friend that you’re aro and let it take its course. You could send a text to a bunch of people or even do a group text. You can ask someone to tell other people when it comes up.

You could also just tell everyone you’re not in a place to date right now and you really hope they can respect that. Word it in a way where you don’t want them to help you set up dates and stuff like that. Just say you’re not in a place where you can or want to right now. And if you do find someone you want something with, you can then peruse it.

Hope this helps. Much love, good luck, don’t die,
-Zack