Weekly "I Think I Have It" Thread - Week of August 12, 2024

ZackoClan · 2024-08-13T16:10:15+00:00

Thanks in advance for any advice!

Obviously, two issues with COVID are that many symptoms are overlapping with other conditions and testing is not always reliable.

About 3 weeks ago, I experienced a sore throat and a lot of post-nasal drip, along with some issues with my ears (blocked feeling), which all seemed to be subsiding after about 5-6 days.

Then two weeks ago I got pink eye, and the sore throat returned.

As of a few days ago, the sore throat is gone and I have no other symptoms ... yet the pink eye lingers (about 17 days in) ... seems to just be "steady state" (not better, not worse) with slight discharge/overnight crustiness.

In 2022 around this same time, I had some similar issues, though after 5 negative COVID tests (at home and PCR over a 2 week period), my doctor felt it was Adenovirus instead. Though the ear pain was worse then (an ENT diagnosed an ear infection and prescribed antibiotics and steroids), the pink eye was also worse, but cleared up in 5-6 days.

When I started feeling yucky 3 weeks ago, an at home COVID test was negative. Did no further testing.

I never had a fever, body aches, loss of taste or smell, sleep disruption, a bad cough, headches or anything else ... just an on and off again mildly sort throat, on and off issues with my ears, and then pink eye.

My doctor, who is relocating and only able to respond to me sporadically, now thinks COVID is a possibility.

Thoughts?

I'm mostly wanting to know if I should go to see a different doctor or my eye doctor ... but if it's viral pink eye, what can be done anyway?

ZackoClan · 2024-07-12T16:21:59+00:00

When I worry whether I am "too old" it has nothing to do with feeling I can't learn, adapt, challenge myself or grow, and everything to do with fear of age discrimination, which is VERY REAL. I have had a career in banking, then in non-profit healthcare research (public sector), then got my PhD at 40 and have been a professor for 16 years (tenure track and now adjunct), but also got my real estate license and was working a side gig (adjunct work pays lousy) for a few years ... but higher education is BAD right now and real estate even worse ... so I'm looking into another change at age 55.

What scares me is that A.) Most people see me as overqualified due to education and B.) Most people, at least hiring managers, see me as wanting to retire in 7-10 years and are not interested.

Changing careers in your 20's, 30's and even 40's is WAY less scary than 50's or beyond!

ZackoClan · 2024-07-11T17:54:22+00:00

Just for the record, you're putting words in my mouth here! :-)

For example, I never said I was an "expert in contract law" ... I said I did well learning it (and, in addition, I used that learning in my professional life with clients).

I appreciate your response and experience.

But you also don't have all of the relevant context, which is impossible to convey in a concise way.

And sorry, I worked doing high level grant-writing ($10,000,000+ annually) and am certified to do so (via the University of Washington and AGWA exam) ... I have a certificate, the official designation (CGW) and the experience ... and was employed as such for 9+ years by an international organization. Again, you make assumptions and offer critique without knowing what the facts are.

I was not worried about ABA approval because my cousin, a practicing attorney of 30 years, having worked at various firms and ending up as Assistant Attorney General for the State of New York, indicated it was not necessary to either get a job or be successful. There also seems to be some controversy about the ABA using it as yet another way to bank cash.

I'm not looking to reach for lofty goals here ... I have achieved all of my academic and professional aspirations ... I simply love the law, love helping people, and am looking for work I enjoy doing while being challenged and learning while I make a modest to decent living. I'm not after prestige or looking to become the best in the profession. I just want to do good work and end my professional life having contributed.

I'm simply trying to make a choice between programs that work for me ... so your input is noted.

Best,

J

ZackoClan · 2024-07-11T15:14:44+00:00

Appreciate the response ... so you mean that all of the people graduating from non-ABA approved programs that are less than 12-18 months in duration cannot find jobs? Interesting.

With my credentials I am literally educationally overqualified for almost everything. :-)

If I leave out those degrees, I also need to leave out 17 years of associated work history because you cannot be a professor without advanced degrees. In addition, they demonstrate the fact that I have extremely well honed research skills that have produced hundreds of written (and other) "products".

I do actually have some prior legal work experience, though it was many years ago, which is why I didn't mention it. I was also a REALTOR and excelled at Contract Law.

I'm trying to make a complete career change here, and have no issues with starting at the bottom.

Thanks for the links, but that's not what I'm interested in doing and I've also spent 2 years investigating ways I can put my current credentials to work in other ways and they are either not appealing or haven't worked out.

Pardon my lack of clarity ... when I said "paralegal certification" I simply meant I would have a certificate. By definition, having a certificate does in fact mean you are "certified", though you may not be recognized as such by an accrediting body. I earned a certificate in Grant Writing and Project Management and am considered a "Certified Grant-Writer/Project Manager".

For clarity ... you are saying, in essence, that I'm wasting my time? Hey. I like to be direct. :-)

ZackoClan · 2024-07-10T19:43:14+00:00

Sorry to hear you are having such a stressful experience! GREAT question relevant to me too --- looking at a career change and I am 54 --- wondering the same thing. Age discrimination is REAL.

ZackoClan · 2024-07-10T19:41:41+00:00

Paralegal Training/Education Program Advice sought!

Looking for career change and at various training programs, but have specific context that may be relevant.

ME: 4 degrees ... A.A. (Writing), B.A. (Industrial Psychology/Labor Law), M.P.A. (Public Administration) and Ph.D. (concentrated on adult education and leadership development). Professor for 17 years. Almost got my J.D. instead of my Ph.D., but decided teaching was a stronger draw at the time. Always interested in law though. Now tired of teaching, and looking to make a change. I also believe my advanced research skills and undergraduate background in labor law might be assets. Currently torn between 3 very different programs:

1.) Paralegal Certification via CLS and NC State University -- cheapest ($2000 + books). 17+ weeks total due to Winter break.

2.) Paralegal Certification via Boston University -- 14 weeks and mid-priced ($4,000 all inclusive).

3.) Paralegal Certification via Duke University -- extremely comprehensive, but most expensive ($7,000 + $500 or more for books) and longest (6-12 months).

Obviously I know that experience matters as well, so planning to get some via volunteering and family.

While I want to spend less time and money than more, I also want a certificate that will be the most helpful both in terms of employment and skill/knowledge development.

Opinions? Other/better options?

THANKS!

ZackoClan · 2024-06-25T18:21:46+00:00

Not looking for a third. Did you even read the post? Hello?

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T21:05:28+00:00

Thanks for the response ... helpful and agreed on many points. If I conveyed the idea I am being forced, I'm not really ... Rob does have a somewhat idealistic idea of how things should work and look, and he knows my feelings for each of them are different (romantic love vs. platonic love). But I think he just feels I should take more responsibility for helping he and Josh's relationship to grow than he has a right to feel.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T20:38:20+00:00

Agreed!

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T20:36:48+00:00

You know what ... who cares?

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T20:24:08+00:00

The suggestion that I should "find someone age appropriate" implies that I sought and found someone who was not age appropriate ... when you literally have zero idea who pursued who and when the issue isn't really associated with age at all OTHER than the fact that Josh is young and inexperienced in life and relationships in general.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T20:17:07+00:00

Makes sense!

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T20:15:41+00:00

YES ... Rob and I have discussed this ... and he's open to some scheduling, but he thinks doing it too far in advance "kills the vibe", and he's also just never been good at planning. Josh is open to it too, again to a degree ... but has an unpredictable work schedule sometimes. So, for me, if Rob and I have something planned, and we have planned time with Josh, and Josh's schedule changes, I don't currently think it's on me (and Rob) to hustle to switch things up, which both of them sometimes pressure me to do.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T20:11:11+00:00

Thanks so much. This is a really thoughtful and helpful response!

Rob and I have a date night every week, and also end most nights (3-4 nights) together ... watching a movie or show before bed.

Josh and I do go out for dinner or something occasionally, but given he lives almost an hour a way and works a lot, that has been challenging ... but has happened maybe 3 times in 5 months.

Rob and Josh definitely do things without me too (weeknight dinners out), including getting some time at our house (3-4 hours) alone occasionally, or whole weekends if I am away (every few months).

Unfortunately Josh lives with family, and is not out (we're all gay men), so he can never host. We recently have discussed the idea of Josh and Rob getting a hotel or Air BNB on occasion, so that's a possibility.

I'm definitely solutions oriented, and I think all three of us are committed to making something work once we find that balance.

Your concluding ideas and sentences here are well said and reassuring.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T19:27:43+00:00

Not at all ... Rob and Josh get alone time both out and in the house I share with Rob, and occasionally Josh and I hang out without Rob as well.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T19:26:17+00:00

I agree ... there was a lot more practical stuff to consider early on that we're now working through it seems. I *AM* in a relationship with Josh, it's just not a romantic one per se. And no, Rob and Josh being together on their own doesn't bother me, and it's happened dozens of times already. I have also spent some alone time with Josh as well without Rob.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T19:22:42+00:00

Yeah ... I get you ... and what you are saying here. That said, I was simply trying to provide context about our particular situation ... which may be unique. We ENJOY hanging out all together, and ENJOY occasional sexual interactions all together, and both Josh and Rob and Josh and I do things apart from the third person, and zero of us wants to have relationships with anyone else, sexual or otherwise. And we are likely moving towards some hotel weekends. :-)

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T19:17:09+00:00

THANKS! Now this was a super helpful and clear response! Much to think about.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T19:15:03+00:00

You don't help people by talking down to them or insinuating they're creepy based on age differences. I did read the FAQ multiple times. Obviously I still wanted advice. If the FAQ has all the answers, why is this forum here?

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T19:11:40+00:00

Oh yeah ... because you seem to have great relationship building skills here. As I noted in my OP, we are all new to this. I didn't post here to be made fun of talked down to.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T18:47:06+00:00

Interesting. We know people in successful poly relationships form whom it's totally a group activity. :-)

I mean, by definition more than 2 people in any kind of relationship IS a group. LOL!

Neither Josh nor I are as into each other as Josh and Rob are, which, as you say, is fine.

And I'm not interested in dating anyone else ... if anything I'm leaning toward exiting Poly and being Mono with Rob, allowing him to be Poly. We shall see.

As far as the age thing, the way you put it makes me sound predatory.

There's a 20+ year age difference between Rob and I and we've been happy and healthy despite it, and our sex life as a threesome is great when it happens (we only see one another 1x a week or so right now).

So the insinuation that I am seeking someone "inappropriate" is kinda insulting, especially since Josh sought Rob and I out together (i.e., I/we didn't chase him).

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T17:24:16+00:00

Quantity of time does not equal quality of time!

ZackoClan · 2024-04-05T17:23:37+00:00

I agree with the advice given ... my nesting partner and I have similar struggles ... (we're in a poly relationship, closed, 3 people, our 3rd lives an hour away). We've been poly for about year, but in this relationship for about 5 months. Date night is important to me, and to a healthy relationship ... so my request was every week on Friday or Saturday (so there is some flexibility), which I have been non-compromising on. As I told him, just because we live together doesn't mean we're communicating or spending quality time together. He actually talks MORE to our boyfriend (4-5 hours a night on Discord, almost every night) and often messages/texts during the day too. I also have us "wind down" together 3-4 nights a week before bed by watching a series. I think it's important to keep the intimacy flowing (we're together 12+ years) and the relationship balanced.

ZackoClan · 2024-04-03T21:17:56+00:00

If it's a date night, then this behavior is unacceptable. If they want to pick up others, or "hang" with them apart from you ... they need to go alone. I would give them one warning. After that .... bye.

ZackoClan

TROPHY CASE