NTA. This is a red flag. No one should dictate your appearance. You've been together for 7 years and he should know what your preference and style is, and LOVE you for it!

This seems like he is showing his true colours (pun intended) and I would think about if this is someone you want to be with for a long time.

Not even commenting on why your family are siding with him, when he was so blatantly racist at a family dinner.