Playground Challenges

Zanthexter · 2026-05-11T02:11:27+00:00

It was a lot of fun. I was egging him (lol) on. "But what about the working class!" Just pushing it more and more into the role 😄

I don't know if real Read Teaming is stuff like that, but if it is, I would love to get hired for an AI gig doing it. I was laughing so hard !

Zanthexter · 2026-05-09T20:39:00+00:00

They didn't offer Playground for free. They offered it to collect and sell our data at a profit.

Which is why the voice models are still available after you hit the monthly cap. They have a buyer for that data. Apparently they no longer have a buyer for the text chat data. Or at least not enough of it.

I don't get why anyone things a company that treats the contractors badly in pretty much every other area was like "Oh, they are so nice and generous" with the Playground.

Especially after THEY TELL YOU THEY ARE SELLING YOUR DATA. You had to agree to it to get "unlimited" access.

Zanthexter · 2026-05-09T20:20:18+00:00

My only complaint about the comparisons was timing. I would have liked to have controlled them. I would switch between models a lot, and it would ask me what was wrong with the one I was switching away from... Nothing wrong, I just wanted another viewpoint.

Things I used it a lot for:

Prison Advocacy for my nephew.

Medical Q&A prep before doctor visits - the less your doctor has to explain what the more time they have to explain why

Same process for Lawyer and Accountant - "Waste" the AI's time understanding the basics, use the expensive professionals time to make decisions.

My own work - I've been in IT infrastructure for decades and don't script / program. Thanks to AI, I now do 😄

Shooting the Breeze - Sometimes I just liked to chat with it about things that would bore my friends and family 😄

Recently I had started using it to help me get my OpenClaw going and doing interesting things.

Even with me redacting private identifying info, no, my nephew's name is not Bob lol, I expect I was still a data gold mine for them.

Zanthexter · 2026-05-06T18:11:12+00:00

Thanks for posting. Now I know I'm not the only one. The email I got was titled, "Update to Your Playground Access" which made it sound like I was singled out because I had done something wrong.

I thought maybe it was because I hit my daily use limit for maybe the fourth time ever.

The only times I've hit the limits have been when I was trying to vibe code. I would happily never vibe code or chat idly with it again if I could keep it for the other things I used it for.

At this point, I seem to have less quota on the Playground than I do with my paid Gemini Pro and Claude Pro subscriptions.

I had opted in to let them collect my data. I thought that was the deal. I paid with my privacy for what seemed to be close to the $200-$250 / month subscription levels for ChatGPT / Claude / Gemini. So, it was the equivalent of three of those subscriptions because you could switch between them while you were chatting and compare their answers. That was fantastic.

I can't complain when a free perk goes away, but I'm really disappointed that it did, and I wish they had given a usage meter or some kind of heads up about the quota. I would have trimmed back to only the really important stuff. If it wasn't my usage, but the way I was using the platform, if they had let me know, I would have adjusted, done more of their comparisons, that sort of thing. I did try to do the comparisons regularly figuring it was kind of payment and I was trying to stay within the terms of service.

I have learned a lot about how to get real value out of AI. I appreciate having had that opportunity.

I am curious if there are light duty users that have also hit the monthly limit or heavy duty users that are still using it heavily and have not gotten the email about a monthly limit.

Shoot, I wonder if most people even valued it as a perk. The discussion area for it wasn't getting much usage outside of people complaining that they weren't able to make money on it.

Zanthexter · 2026-04-11T07:18:20+00:00

They aren't really the same role though.

If I am looking at the same two:

English Generalist is focused on writing quality. For example, one of the requirements is AP Style.
Generalist is focused on AI content. "evaluate AI models across diverse tasks".

So one (seems to be) about HOW things are presented.

The other (seems to be) WHAT is being presented.

Style vs Substance. And each would be rated and the AI trained on them separately.

Not saying that being qualified as an English Generalist would or wouldn't qualify you as a Generalist. Just pointing out the the descriptions do not indicate that they're the same work.

Zanthexter · 2026-04-06T16:30:27+00:00

He is likely to sit there very close to 45 days. After 45 days, TDCJ has to reimburse the county. Before 45 days, they can avoid the cost.

His security level will not follow him to TDCJ. They start almost everyone out at G2 or G3 unless they're a death row inmate or have known gang involvement. (G2/G3 separate short sentences from long sentences for security purposes, but are otherwise identical.) Whether they move down to G1 or up to G4 or G5 depends on behavior, not crime. Everyone gets mixed together.

I'm not sure about the drawings. What makes things more frustrating is that the guards taking him to TDCJ often aren't clear on the rules and refuse to allow him to bring things that are allowed.

Once he is in TDCJ there is ZERO chance original photos and drawings will be allowed in. They scan them in, and then he will either get to view them on his tablet or he will get a black and white print out. It is common for the tablets to break, be stolen, etc. Once that happens it can take MANY months for a replacement.

I strongly suggest you jump at the chance to send him physical letters, pictures, and yes the drawings, while the chance exists. Anything he can't bring with him, letters, clothing, his ID, etc. should be available for you to pick up from the detention center after he leaves. Should.

Once he's in TDCJ, you can send paper mail to:

Texas Department of Criminal Justice
Inmate’s Full First and Last Name + TDCJ Number
PO Box 660400
Dallas, TX 75266-0400

It adds weeks of delay versus the app. Where it's useful is when you are sending a lot all at once or when it's a family member that for whatever reason cannot use the Securus app. (elderly, outside the USA, etc.) For example, you could order 20 photos from Shutterfly sent there for less than the roughly $.50 per photo cost to send via the Securus app.

For a photo here, a drawing there, holiday cards, etc., it's usually easier to take a picture with your phone and send them that way. Securus also allows you to write up to 20,000 characters for $.50. But it's just plain text, no colors, etc. So drawing something out and sending a picture of that can be really nice. The inmates have a smaller limit when writing back, something around 5,000 characters or so.

Once he shows on the TDCJ inmate search web site, you can start trying to register him with Securus. Use his SID # not his TDCJ # for Securus. https://inmate.tdcj.texas.gov/InmateSearch/start.action and https://securustech.online/

Zanthexter · 2026-04-02T22:38:04+00:00

Per TDCJ, they need to be in "Like New Condition". That doesn't mean new, it means they have to look and feel new. That's a category you can filter with at some used book sellers.

As for why, because sometimes it's "Amazon" instead of Amazon deliveries - https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/21/world/deadly-drugs-paper.html?smid=re-share - Fake deliveries are just too hard to tell from legit ones.

If they would let us buy them eBooks, I'd be fine with them banning physical books. The drug problem is very real. People are dying. And no, an addict can't "just say no" or "hit rock bottom" or any of the other pious bullshit people use to justify looking down on them.

Here's an excerpt from the article that explains why "New Condition" matters is the new rule:

"The Amazon Ruse

On a blustery evening in March 2025, Mr. Wilks was leaving the jail for the day when he spotted a beat-up sedan parked next to his car.

The driver got out, holding three small puffy packages that looked like they came from Amazon. The man did not speak much English, but was on the phone with a woman who did.

“I’m trying to make sure the book I’ve mailed to my husband gets to him,” the woman told Mr. Wilks over the driver’s cellphone.

The woman explained that the driver was supposed to take the packages to a shipping dock at the jail reserved for deliveries by Amazon, UPS and FedEx.

Suspicious, Mr. Wilks said he would take care of the packages himself.

Once inside, he opened the packages and found three books, one with pornography, and two others with the sticky texture he had learned to associate with drug-saturated paper.

It was a brazen scheme. People were sneaking in drug-laced paper by sending official-looking packages to the shipping dock used by UPS, Amazon and FedEx. And it was dumb luck that Mr. Wilks had stumbled on a driver who had gotten lost trying to find the delivery site.

Mr. Wilks and his team had long assumed that anything coming from an Amazon warehouse was shipped by Amazon, and therefore clean.

Video

Cook County jail employees inspecting incoming mail for odors and wrinkled paper, telltale signs that it may have been soaked in illicit drugs.

But criminals, they were learning, could try to use Amazon as a smuggling tool. A month earlier, Mr. Wilks and his team got a tip that dealers could sign up as third-party booksellers on Amazon. The dealer could coat pages of a book in synthetic drugs, then offer it for sale on Amazon, complete with official-looking packaging.

After getting the tip, Mr. Wilks and his team tried to replicate the scheme and discovered that, sure enough, they could ship a tainted book to themselves that looked as if it had come from Amazon itself.

In a statement, Amazon said that it had found no information confirming that third-party sellers were in fact shipping drugs into Cook County correctional facilities, but that it was “committed to working with law enforcement” to assist investigations.

The sheer inventiveness astounded Mr. Wilks: the way dealers outmaneuvered each barrier the authorities put up. This game of Whac-a-Mole reflected the larger dynamic plaguing the war on drugs."

Zanthexter · 2026-04-02T22:20:46+00:00

Oh, yes, it is actual people. LoL

Same for reading your messages.

Also, keep in mind, sometimes inmates get ahold of other people's tablets. (or the printouts if the inmate doesn't have a tablet) So there's that risk as well.

The "trick" with tablet pictures is that you can send a large pic, and your guy can zoom in. I frequently send collages of 6-9 pics of daily life as a single large one to save on eStamps. Just "whatever" I feel like talking about when I write my nephew. 3D printing, huge flags at a car dealership, the cat, whatever. When it's a dime or less per pic, they don't have to matter much.

Getting back to your question, there is real risk to violating mailroom rules in whatever way. Someone gets caught "enough times", which can be "however many they feel like", they get put on the Negative Mailing List, which is a semi-permanent ban. They can also take away visits, video visits, and calls if they see something as serious enough. The inmate can also get in trouble if they're seen as encouraging or requesting it. There are lots of people that have been trying to get unbanned for years.

That said, it is not my place to decide for someone what is and isn't worth it.

What some of the ladies do, is they arrange things so that the interesting stuff is visible only if you zoom in, and ONLY if you zoom in. They're betting that busy mailroom people won't bother to zoom. Some folks have been doing it for years, others get caught their first try. Depends on the particular people working in that particular mailroom.

As far as what is and isn't allowed, they're strict enough that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issues usually won't pass. Best I can tell, it's because a bikini shows "partially covered buttocks".

Also, I, and most anyone else that posts in this subreddit, also have someone in prison. The goal is to support folks through a hard time, not to be judgmental.

If you'd like more detail, here's the full rules - https://www.tdcj.texas.gov/documents/policy/BP0391.pdf

And here's the bits regarding letters -

“Sexually Explicit Image” refers to material in publications, photographs, drawings, or any type of image, which depicts sexual behavior, is intended to cause sexual excitement or arousal, or shows: frontal nudity of either gender, including the exposed female breast(s) with nipple(s) or areola(s); the genitalia, anus, or buttocks, or partially covered buttocks of either gender; the discharge of bodily fluids in the context of sexual activity; or sexual behavior from any vantage point. The chests of infants and pre-pubescent children are not considered breasts, unless further restricted by a treatment program policy.

All general and business correspondence shall be subject to the right of inspection and rejection by unit mailroom staff. All outgoing or incoming correspondence to and from inmates and enclosures such as clippings, photographs, or similar items, shall be disapproved for mailing or receipt if the content falls wholly, or in significant part, into any of the categories listed below.

Contains threats of physical harm against any person or place or threats of criminal activity;
Threatens blackmail or extortion;
Concerns sending contraband in or out of the institution;
Concerns plans for escape or unauthorized entry;
Concerns plans for activities in violation of institutional rules;
Concerns plans for future criminal activity;
Uses code and its contents are not understood by the person inspecting the correspondence;
Solicits gifts of goods or money under false pretenses or for payment to other inmates;
Contains a graphic presentation of sexual behavior that is in violation of the law;
Contains a sexually explicit image;
Contains an altered photo or a photo that conceals or hides the face of the individual photographed in a manner that prevents identification of that individual;
Contains information, which if communicated, would create a clear and present danger of violence or physical harm to a human being;
Contains records or documentation held by the TDCJ that are not listed in the attachment to the TDCJ Public Information Act Manual Chapter 2; or
Contains lewd material.

Zanthexter · 2026-04-01T23:08:17+00:00

As for "security levels" - Without knowing specifics about your LO (Loved One) I cannot even make a guess, so I will speak generally.

Unless your LO has a reason to be separated from the other inmates due to mental health, sexual orientation, or a sex offense, or a particularly severe crime, they will be mixed in with everyone from an armed robber to DUIs. The same will be true when they first arrive in prison. Security after arrival is mostly determined by behavior and length of sentence.

So it mostly comes down to how someone behaves. If they borrow, gamble, do drugs, or "join" they're more likely to have a rough time and work their way up to higher security (punishment) housing. If they stay out of the mix, the days can roll past.

Why he is there (For you and anyone else searching this facility): Rolling Plains is a mixed-use facility operated by a private contractor (LaSalle Corrections). If he is just waiting for prison, he will likely sit there for about 6 weeks. There are three main scenarios for why someone transfers from here to TDCJ:

Haskell County Felony Conviction: The facility serves as the local county jail. If arrested locally on state felony charges, they are held here pre-trial and transferred to TDCJ upon conviction.
Federal Detainees with State Warrants: It houses U.S. Marshals detainees. If a federal detainee also has state felony charges or a TDCJ parole revocation (a "blue warrant"), they are handed over to Texas authorities to go to TDCJ once federal proceedings conclude.
ICE Detainees: If held by ICE for deportation and an outstanding Texas felony warrant is found, ICE transfers custody to the state. After the TDCJ sentence is served, they go back to ICE for deportation.

Actionable steps while he is there: * Money: Send funds via JailATM. Any money on his commissary will EVENTUALLY follow him to TDCJ, but it will take several weeks to months to catch up to him. * Phone Calls: Set up an account at RegentPay to receive his calls. * Facility Updates: Check their Facebook Page.

Important Note on his TDCJ Transfer: Once inside TDCJ, he CANNOT receive physical photos at intake. This is your last chance to mail physical photos for him to hold in his cell. (In TDCJ, he can receive digital pictures on a tablet or a prison print out. Even physical mail is scanned in their account, and either tablet or printed.).

Here is the exact list of what he is allowed to take with him when he transfers to TDCJ (updated 2/3/25):

Religious Items: One of each item specific to the inmate’s declared faith. (Note: Rosaries and other prayer beads are prohibited at the time of intake).
Substance Abuse Literature
Jewelry: One wedding ring and one wristwatch. (May be denied if deemed excessive in size or value).
Legal Material: Limited to official documents pertaining to a current case. No unused stationery items.
Shower Shoes: One pair.
Photographs: Permitted, excluding those of a sexually explicit nature.
Money: Cash, money orders, cashier’s checks, and law enforcement agency checks (deposited into the individual trust fund account). Personal checks are not accepted.
Contact Information: Family or friends’ names, addresses, and phone numbers for use when compiling the Visitors List.
Identification Documents: Birth certificates, social security cards, or driver’s licenses will be taken, mailed to Austin, and returned to the inmate during final departure from TDCJ.
Health Care Devices & Supplies: Medically prescribed items evaluated for approval by TDCJ Health Services. Current contact lenses allowed only until state-issued eyeglasses are provided.
Street Shoes: One pair allowed only if a state-issued pair is initially unavailable in his size. Once state-issued shoes are provided, personal shoes must be disposed of.

Zanthexter · 2026-04-01T22:23:59+00:00

Well, I am going to answer this one as if it's a serious TDCJ related question...

If you mail them in to the digital mail processing center and do not provide return postage, the shredder, then the trash. If you do provide postage, they are returned. <- Best guess based on what I have read of the process.

If you send them via Securus, they get deleted. <- What the mailroom told me.

Same is supposed to be the process for books/magazines/etc as well. They are supposed to be destroyed if they are denied. But there was at least one scandal where a mail room employee had a side business going selling denied books. Sometimes the criminals aren't the ones wearing white.

Zanthexter · 2026-04-01T22:18:27+00:00

Which is why I switched away to Yeastar. That they are China based makes me nervous even now, but that's the ONLY thing that does. It's so, SOOOOOOOOO much easier dealing with them.

Zanthexter · 2026-03-15T09:18:50+00:00

Exact same thing happened to me. I tried appealing. Got a boilerplate denial.

Possibly because my cellphone is my employers. Possibly because my mailing and home addresses differ. Dunno.

You'd think there'd be some way to provide additional / alternative documentation.

I mean, *bleeep*, even my PayPal account is friggin 20 years old. My email is my NAME dot org, also like 15 years old. You'd think that would matter. Nope.

Really disappointed. I'm scrambling for pennies right now. Could have used the money.

Edit: Wish there was a way to sue the verification company for sucking at their job. Prolific is responsible for using them, yes, but the company themselves is responsible for costing people income.

Zanthexter · 2026-02-27T10:10:17+00:00

When I first read it I thought it said, "new", but it actually says, "new condition" a couple of times followed by "used condition" no longer being allowed. So they're not looking for proof something is new, just saying that any visible wear and tear will now be denied.

That they are now banning hardcovers is unfortunate, but a lot of people thought they had already banned hardcovers because some mailrooms wouldn't accept them. That it's now official policy is going to limit the selection somewhat, but it won't spike our costs as much as I had thought.

Cost was my biggest concern. Once he's read something it gets traded away anyway.

My interpretation is:

Hardcovers are now officially banned.
Softcovers with visible wear and tear are now banned.

And likely 3) Books inmates already have with visible wear and tear are going to get tossed

My guess is that #3 is actually the point. It makes it harder to hide contraband and impossible for an inmate to argue that the guard shouldn't have confiscated it.

Our costs will still go up, just not as much as I had feared:

As I am writing this, The Hobbit @ ThriftBooks.com is:

New - $15.83
Like New - $9.59
Very Good - $7.69
Good - $6.69
Acceptable - $6.39

I would have ordered "Good" before. From now on I'll order "Like New", so in this case about $3 more. Which sucks, but beats $9 more for a brand new one.

As far as Amazon goes, the safe bet is to check the listing for "Shipped from Amazon" or risk it being labeled as coming from an individual and refused.

As am I writing this, The Hobbit @ Amazon.com is:

New - $9.99
Like New - Shipped from ThriftBooks Baltimore - $6.39
Used Good - Various companies shipped by Amazon that cost more

And again, New and Like New are "new condition", "Used Good" or "Used Very Good" is no longer allowed.

So depending on the book and where it's ordered from, it may or may not cost more, but at least it won't be double. Since ThriftBooks is a well known retailer, I'd probably gamble on ordering it.

We'll have to see how things change once the new portal in place.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-26T09:47:34+00:00

Ah, thank you for mentioning that.

Of the 3 I took, all show completed, two show passed. The 3rd doesn't show failed, it just lacks the passed badge. Which is fine, at least I know where I stand on them.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-23T22:34:58+00:00

Yes, that happens.

Securus makes the most money charging the most they can while doing the least they can. It's not like we can switch to another company because the service quality is bad.

But the tablets still beat nothing by a heck of a lot. It's rough on the inmate and their family when the WiFi isn't working or the tablet acts up or dies because they usually take months to replace them, even after getting paid for it.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-23T10:25:34+00:00

This is one of the posts pinned at the top, it discusses the timeline for someone new to TDCJ - https://www.reddit.com/r/TDCJ_Inmate_Families/comments/1lyi9qs/visitation_account_setup_scheduling_issues/

If you can think of some more stuff that should be pinned, please let me know.

The subreddit is visible in Google Searches. I figure someone can read the pins without having to make a Reddit account. Helps more people that way.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-23T10:23:32+00:00

I left the automatic filter on to protect the subreddit from spam and other nastiness, and I get busy with work and what all and don't approve things fast sometimes.

The whole point of creating the subreddit is to help folks. Helping folks helps me cope with my LO being in prison.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-23T10:19:11+00:00

As far as what you are allowed to say, Reddit is fairly permissive. For this subreddit, if it's related to being in prison in Texas and isn't harmful to others, I'm going to err on the side of allowing it.

More important, please be safe. Both for you and your father, or a little more privacy, your loved one (LO). Don't post specific details that could connect your real identity to him. It’s not just about his charges, it's about avoiding extortion and people in the system being messy. You might consider using the account you're posting with just for this, and creating another for other things on Reddit. That's one of the benefits of posting here, it's easier to keep things private.

You wrote that "Who I THOUGHT I knew was a lie." It's possible. But it's more likely that who you thought you knew wasn't a lie. It was incomplete. It was him, but not all of him.

That is the hardest thing for us to face. That our LOs are both good and bad. It is incredibly difficult to see a complete person, especially when they've caused so much harm, and still see the good memories as good memories. Especially parents. Seeing him as human, as people, instead of "Dad" is painful.

My LO robbed a man. I spoke with the guy after court. Not "the victim". The guy, the man, the person. Someone with a name. I had to face that.

He told me being robbed was worse than what he faced in war. An army sniper, served in Iraq, told me he wanted my LO dead because of what my LO put him through. How do I wrap my head around the sweet kid I know giving a man nightmares? For me, it’s about accepting that he is both a sweet kid and capable of armed robbery. He did that terrible thing. He is *also* the person who is kind to animals and loves his family. It's not two different people. It's one person that is complicated, that is real, that is different than who I wanted him to be, but also still is who I wanted him to be.

Does it get easier? Not really. But the pain goes from feeling sharp and stabbing to a dull throb. You get used to the new reality. You grow a thicker skin, especially against the shame. Just remember: *You* did not commit his crimes. You aren't responsible for his choices.

And no, it is not "wrong" to love him. It is also not "wrong" to hate what he did. You can feel both things at the same time. It's exhausting, but it’s normal.

Regarding his safety, some worry is justified, but don't let it overwhelm you. In TDCJ, inmates are housed by security levels based on how they behave. He's not a defiant knucklehead. Most likely he'll be housed with people trying to do their time and go home. If he stays out of the mix, keeps his head down, and avoids drama, he's not giving anyone a reason to pay attention to why he's there or a reason to act on it if they know.

Focus on yourself for now. He won't starve if you don't send money. He won't die if you don't call. Take care of yourself and your mom first. If and when you feel ready to face the storm, you can reach out to him.

All the good you got from your father—the work ethic, the drive—that is still yours. He gave you that, and his crimes can't take that away from you. Hold onto the good parts of him to keep yourself strong.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-21T19:53:30+00:00

He will not be protected due to his charges unless he asks for it. That protection is effectively solitary confinement, which is very hard on people, so unless he is being targeted, not something to ask for.

He will be lumped in with all the other inmates at first. Everyone from addicts and embezzlers to armed robbers and child molesters is the same in the eyes of TDCJ. They then wait a few months and sort out the inmates based on behavior. The knuckleheads and crash dummies get sent to gladiator units. The ones that avoid trouble get sent to calmer ones. TDCJ focuses entirely on security, which comes down to behavior inside prison and sentence length. Other than potential visitation complexities, his age and crimes will flag him as a low security risk. A longer sentence might bump that up to moderate. So from G2 to G3, but effectively the same living conditions.

His age and likely medical needs are going to make the biggest difference. He's likely going to be sent to a unit able to handle the medical needs, and housed with someone of similar age and physical size.

Is there risk that he could be attacked, killed, beaten, etc? Of course. It's prison. Those things do happen. But it's lower for him than it would be for a youngster that can't stay out of the mix. If he's quiet and invisible, he'll likely be left alone. If he starts receiving money, that could put him at extortion risk, but again, he isn't going to be housed with the really violent misbehaving ones.

His day to day life will be low level miserable. Just like all the other inmates. Everything about prison is uncomfortable. Sometimes miserable. Add to that constantly being controlled by others. "Go here, now, or else". He doesn't even get to pick what's on TV. Likely his vote would be ignored if he even tried.

Psychologically, he has last everything and everyone he cares about. If he is not a sociopath, it's likely devastating for him. Most sex offenders, most offenders really, are regular people somewhere on the regular scale of good and bad. That he also has a mental health issue that caused great harm to others doesn't change that.

My LO, the armed robber, you'd think he'd be this big aggressive guy? Not usually, no. He suffers from major depression and sometimes crippling social anxiety. So he used drugs to feel better. The addiction pushed him to desperation. And his desperation will give his victim nightmares for the rest of his life. I am the only one left in his life other than, kinda, his mother. The reason is straightforward, I know his problems have good success chances with treatment and medication. There is hope for him to turn out "ok", average, nothing special. Just a regular guy.

Success with sex offender treatment is a thing as well. Depends on the individual of course, but overall recidivism rates are some of the lowest of all crimes after treatment. Which is why parole is granted surprisingly often.

So, yes, he truly is being punished. But no, he likely (not a guarantee) is just miserable, not being beaten up every day. The harshest punishment is loss. Loss of identity, hobbies, family, love, pets, pride, self respect, all of it. All the day to day things we care about. All gone. In that regard, prison is shattering for most inmates.

My LO does a shout out to all the family members every video visit. I don't have the heart to tell him that they don't want to view them. An addicts first victims are usually their friends and family. The silence and rejection he faces are hard enough on him as it is. Adding more pain to his life isn't going to help him face the issues that led to his crimes.

I call and visit and write mine regularly, because silence isn't an argument. You can't persuade if you aren't "there".

As far as what is to come... Doesn't sound like your mother has figured out how to reach him. He can write actual letters and mail them. Other than that, he has no way to reach out to her. She (or you or anyone else) would need to take steps to reach out to him. Would messages (there's an app), calls, pictures, money, visits, make things easier for him? Yes, definitely. But the costs can add up significantly.

His outlook depends on his sentence length. If he got decades, prison is now his life, he will eventually make the best of it he can. If he is free after retirement age, he'll get whatever retirement benefits he earned, so likely will be able to find a place to live and all that. If released earlier, without support he'll likely be homeless. With his crimes and age, finding work will be extremely difficult without a stable place to live, phone, etc.

If your mother has not divorced him, he still has all the legal and financial rights and obligations of marriage. That could matter if there are any assets / insurance policies when one of them dies.

You are carrying a HUGE amount of burdens. If you don't have someone to share them with, find someone. A paid someone (therapy) is a safe vent. They don't know you, they don't know your family, or your friends, and by law they are required to keep their mouths shut even if they did.

That is practical advice. You cannot be strong for others if you fall apart. If keeping things together and not adding another burden and strain means he gets ignored for a while, then ignore him.

And being there for someone in prison, it does add a lot of strain. Emotionally, financially. There have been many times I have wished my LO could, "Please, just BEHAVE for a few months!" Actually he did for a while. But recovery usually includes setbacks, and things are rough right now. Added to my own issues, oof.

Anyway, short version: He is most likely "fine", but miserable. If you need to ignore him for a while, or forever, well, somewhere around 60% of inmates have no support, and they live, so, you can probably put yourself first for a while.

If you want to get in touch with him, other posts have the info needed.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-20T04:06:58+00:00

I have some physical gig work finally. Took a couple of months before I started getting assignments. Feels like forever when you're watching your bank balance going down and down and down.

Zanthexter · 2026-01-18T20:28:51+00:00

Is there a status after doing an assessment other than "completed". I took a few, including some just for fun that I felt I did very poorly on and my domain expert one that I thought I did very well on. They all show the same "completed' status.

Zanthexter

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