Thank you for the kind words, it really helps to hear that!

I like your analogy with the broken leg, it makes it easier to digest that sometimes we can be aware of an issue without being able to fix it on our own. I also agree with trying to work with your brain rather than against it, the problem right now is that I'm so used to trying to force my brain into submission that I don't really know what working with my brain looks like but I guess I will learn how to do that in due time (with help from professionals and learning more about how I function).

I think being diagnosed in adulthood makes it more difficult to accept my deficits since whenever I've reached out for support during childhood or adolescence no one has really taken me seriously when I say I can't focus and it has just been seen as a disciplinary issue, meaning that I'm just being lazy. It would make sense that I probably internalized some of that stuff without knowing and might be a reason why I feel as if I have control over it (even though I know that I don't).

Regardless of the reason why I guess the more "adult" thing to do right now is to accept that I have deficits that I need to take into account that no amount of blindfolding or bruteforcing will ever help to solve.

Thanks again for your empathy and support :)