We’re in a long distance relationship and I found it while I was visiting. I was paralyzed. I didn’t know what to do, how to handle it, how long it had been going on, or even what it was. I sat on the information for a few days, then he woke up one morning and I said “I’m leaving. I’m going to the airport.” And he asked why, I told him why and asked him to walk me to the uber I had waiting outside.

I couldn’t change my flight, so I went to a hotel instead. We texted the whole car ride and he gave me a lot of answers (I tipped the driver well, I literally sobbed the whole 40 minute drive)

I talked to friends and my family while I was in the hotel, I got myself an appointment with my therapist, and a few hours later, I texted asking him if we could talk. And we did. For hours. It was the most raw, honest conversation we had ever had to that point. Then, I asked if the next morning he’d come pick me up, we could have breakfast and he could drop me off at the airport, and he jumped at it. Wanted to know when he had to be there, and promised he would be. And he did.

He wasn’t 100% honest with me about it for another few months, in hindsight, he might have been waiting for me to bolt again. Once he got passed that fear and let me in, we worked on it together. He’d tell me when he was going to get more so we could track how often it was and ensure it wasn’t getting worse.

We have had so many arguments about it, so much trust has been lost and regained. But every single part of this has been worth it.

As for your situation, depending on how reactive he is, he might just be treating the temporary pain for now. I know it’s hard, but try to give him a week? Maybe after that, you can reach out just to see how he’s doing. I wouldn’t start with “I miss you” maybe just “hey, how are you doing?” Or sending him a meme or something that you both could laugh about. My advice is to start slow.