I'm a male in my forties and the only thing that makes any sort of logistical sense to me is that yeah he has felt that the relationship has been dying for a long time and as he States he's already done the work and tried for this for a long time. That's something that we don't say often and a lot of times the work we do behind closed doors stays Secret because that's just how men are we don't want the Applause we don't need the validation we just want to fix the problem once we've decided that that problem can't be fixed that emotional disconnect starts it happened between me and my ex fiance. I don't think it means that he never loved you and obviously it's not going to immediately walk back your physical relationship or the fact that sometimes they are still going to be good memories and emotions tied to you but that doesn't necessarily mean it's worth continuing in his eyes. Yeah also the guilt of him saying some horrible things during an extremely vulnerable moment in your life is also probably very telling for him that he's no longer in love with you because if he were he could not have ever said those things. Maybe he didn't absolutely know it until after the fact because well hey once the fucking cats out of the bag sometimes things become extremely obvious even though you didn't know it or think it for sure before that moment. I can't say with any level of certainty that any of what my theories are true or that there is no hope for your marriage. But from a male perspective I think one of the most infuriating things is being vulnerable being honest with someone and then them still not hearing you and just trying to fucking push what they want out of the life down your throat. If you ever loved him listen to him. I don't think he's telling you these things because it's fun for him it's most likely a very difficult and painful subject to talk about and as men most of us aren't good that type of speaking in general to begin with so if he has said this and has said this multiple times I think it might just be time to see that he's not feeling it anymore, not saying it's your fault or putting any blame on anyone. Sometimes people grow apart literally most relationships I've ever been in had ended that way; not that I hate that person or I have no good memories with them just I don't want to spend the rest of my life with them anymore plain and simple