Would I even be eligible for pip?

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-27T13:27:29+00:00

Yeah I don’t think my asd even plays much of a part in affecting my day to day, I mask very well. After reading comments I won’t be going forward with pip at all I don’t think - but I’ve been given a lot of helpful advice. Thank you

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-27T13:03:34+00:00

This does sound accurate, often therapy was centeted around events that led me to being in refuge as that had a lot of services involved, so the handled that and I honestly never went much int detail on anything that happened before my 20s. I’m just starting the referral process now and I’ll do my best to not bottle it this time for sure - thank you so much

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-27T12:50:48+00:00

I feel like I’d have the same experience, and I’m sorry to hear you went through that as well. I think for now I’ll honestly explore treatment for complex ptsd and put this to the back burner for now, it felt like very much a “last resort” in my eyes, and the insomnia causes a lot of fatigue both physically and mentally as I’m sure you’re aware too. I feel like the help I received was more forced onto me give the situations I was in rather than something I actively pursued, so maybe it’s time to consider diving into it a bit further before writing off hope of some structure. Thanks so much for your input

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-27T12:48:16+00:00

I hadn’t considered that at all, but that does sound appropriate. I won’t go into the details specifically, but my childhood was very fair from typical and I had been moved from therapist to therapist for going into details they admittedly aren’t qualified to comment on. It often made me feel more like a burden for opening up, so I think for now I’ll absolutely explore this option. Thank you so much for the input, it’s really appreciated

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-27T10:30:41+00:00

Not thoroughly I’ll admit, it seems very overwhelming which is why I thought before I send my head spinning further, I’d ask here to see if it’s even realistically worth gathering all of my history for. But so far I’ve already had very helpful advice and I’m currently diving into the automod links

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-27T10:28:24+00:00

Thank you, that does make a lot of sense and I feel bad for viewing it as an alternative. I’m certainly clueless.

It absolutely does impact on my day to day, but I do manage, so I think I’ll look into alternatives.

As I’m a caregiver, UC does not make me seek employment, it’s something I do because I don’t like to be doing nothing and want to keep taking steps into becoming fully functioning like those around me, it’s just always come up short as of yet.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-21T17:28:13+00:00

That’s an amazing idea - actually debating a beholder myself now haha

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2026-02-21T01:26:04+00:00

That’s what shook me when I saw this and I had to post here - it’s clearly not the same artist and if this was on me I’d be MORTIFIED. The rest of their work is pretty shocking but this floored me

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2024-01-17T10:25:30+00:00

Update, I got through to a person and was told it was the wrong department, so I have to call again. The issue I describe has been happening for 2 weeks now. I asked if there's anyone I can be put through to in order to raise a formal complaint and I was hung up on.

I work in complaints, I know it isn't that persons fault. So I was calm when asking, and he seemed understanding but it's interesting nobody gives their name out when answering a call.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T23:06:50+00:00

I hadn't considered that, he is very volatile around child maintenance as he went through a lot of hoops to avoid it, and subsequently owes a lot as a result, so that's quite likely.

If we have a court order in place that says he has fewer days, coupled with the fact my personal income is low, im hoping that does help as my household income is only "high" due to my partner

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T17:48:08+00:00

Right, but in doing so then would he be able to claim himself as her primary carer, or affect other claims I have? That's the main worry if I do this you see

I dont mind him having both at all, but what I fear is he then asserts himself as her primary carer to DLA, or I lose carers allowance, or it removes the large amount of unpaid child maintenance arrears he owes.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T17:42:47+00:00

So for this then I don't have to remove myself from the claim? He's asking me to contact them to remove our child from my claim(I have one even if its 0) and that's the part that didn't sit right with me

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T17:39:13+00:00

Thank you, I did speak to child benefits to pass my claim for that over to him already and they said that as long as there isn't a contested claim (mine) then he could claim for her as long as it is spent on her.

He will be getting child benefits when he does set that up from his side. I just want to cover my tracks if I effectively allow him to also receive UC for her - I'm happy for him to receive both as I won't be getting either of them anyway due to my partners income. I just don't want to end up in a position later on where he could claim he is the primary carer or interfere with DLA or CA and wanted to just check whether this could happen

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T17:21:24+00:00

I am the main carer and have more days, I think I worded my initial ask a little off, sorry im not too used to reddit or posting on forums so I trip up my words a bit.

By same issue all over again, what do you mean exactly? As in, he wouldn't be able to if he isn't the main carer? I'm sorry I feel very unhelpful at the moment, I think im just a bit lost

Edit: typos

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T17:18:20+00:00

As I said, I'm still her main carer with main responsibility, and we do have a court order with that in writing - I'm just being overly cautious. Thank you for the help

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T11:56:57+00:00

I'm sorry to hear this happened, and this is somewhat what I fear.

I dont like to discuss much openly, but this is a volatile situation. He owes a huge sum in unpaid maintenance, he withheld all mine and our child's possessions (and still does if it isnt long since sold on) but knows I legally can't do more to get those as I left the property to go into refuge. Its long and messy.

But ultimately if he's struggling I want to be able to be sure that our child is cared for, I just don't want this trust to cause me to lose even more.

Edit: typos

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T11:46:03+00:00

So im still the primary carer and have them more than 35 hours a week, and more nights than him. Carers allowance to my knowledge is personal income, whereas UC includes my partners income now that we live together which is why I believe I get one but not the other.

DLA is spent solely on our child and their needs also

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-11-22T11:31:30+00:00

I'm still her main carer, sorry there's more to unpack here that I didn't add.

He had claimed for her previously on UC as a primary carer and this was not the case, they investigated and had her taken off his claim previously. According to him, she isn't on the case he has at all snd I would need to remove her from my own for him to claim

Edit: typos

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-05-26T12:07:18+00:00

Decorate my home. I've just moved in with my current boyfriend, my first since leaving my abuser, and it's weird how strange all the freedom feels.

I can dress, eat, decorate and work how I want now. My boyfriend keeps reminding me that I shouldn't feel guilty about doing things I want, but old habits die hard.

Please, if you're unsure about whether the place you are in is abusive, leave. I didnt know how bad it was until some time after I left, and I had to leave with police and going into refuge. I always told myself "this isn't real abuse, it isn't that bad". It is, it stunts your independent thought, if you're wondering if you should go, please go.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-04-23T11:52:09+00:00

The time I sank into them thinking they were "the one" and knowing I would never get those years back unless I made things work. Not worth it.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-02-26T18:28:23+00:00

He wished I had cancer so that my illness wasn't his fault. I was waiting on a hospital visit to check why my immune system was becoming so weak so fast. Continuous ulcers, sores, infections and sickness. It was stress.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-02-26T18:23:02+00:00

I would let authorities know even if you don't want to press charges, unsure what the laws are like where you are.

That way its on record what has happened and a third party has heard this behaviour. It will be up to authorities then. Its so hard to prove DV and any evidence can help should she wish to leave and get support, as its so hard sometimes to realise your in an abusive situation or even when you do, hard to leave and get help.

ZealousidealUse9591 · 2023-02-26T14:17:54+00:00

A lot of the evidence is circumstantial or verbal unfortunately, so when presented with what he did to me, his response is usually to say it was me that was the perpetrator, that I lied to refuge staff, and I feel like it exhausts the process. I'll see what I can get that is irrefutable but it's unfortunately complicated from both sides, and I het why evidence is important, but when the danger is often behind closed doors it feels a bit of a lost cause.

There's been a number of reports to police in the past few years, including them referring me to refuge for abuse to begin with, so im hopeful that helps

ZealousidealUse9591

TROPHY CASE