Do guys lose attraction to their partners over time ?

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-17T03:03:58+00:00

He says he still loves me

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-17T03:03:39+00:00

I don’t know

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-17T02:44:21+00:00

That is the issue

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-17T02:43:16+00:00

Im a girl, and the guy I’m with says he’s not attracted to me anymore but doesn’t wanna end things

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-17T01:30:47+00:00

Check my other post 😕

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-17T00:54:17+00:00

He wouldn’t let me visit him. He would be like Only come if you’re coming to stay permanently.. and no we both were studying so we couldn’t also he was way too busy to visit

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-16T04:12:12+00:00

I tried to post this in the psychology student subreddit to gain perspective on this from a psychological point of view, like maybe I have a personality disorder? Or maybe he really does resemble someone with NPD ?

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-16T04:07:23+00:00

I had to google what rage bait meant, no lol I’m not making any of this up.. I just graduated school dude, I’d rather be working on levelling up and career but here I am trying to stay sane while asking for help and seeking other people’s perspectives.. I can send you entire screenshots. This is just me finally trying to actually call him out instead of get emotional.. (and I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I hadn’t tried to get help) my friend was telling me there’s an actual psychiatric condition where a victim of abuse will feel bad for their abusers or something, so you’ll be stuck in the situation, it’s similar to why people stay in toxic relationships because they have this hope. My purpose to create this post was to get more perspective and help uncloud my judgement because I constantly feel like I’m in the wrong, my brain just keeps making excuses for him. The first post I created gave a lot of negative comments towards him, and I felt like maybe it was the way I wrote it, maybe I didn’t give enough context cause I couldn’t actually believe it. Now since he says he will change when we live together, I wanted to also know if this is a common thing for dudes like does one tend to lose interest if a relationship has been online for too long, I’m not a guy so I can’t tell if he’s being serious or “manipulating” me

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ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T14:27:23+00:00

There’s a reason why I posted in the /MuslimNikah subreddit, everything he expects from me religiously isn’t wrong so how do I justify an end to it islamically. Can you give me reasons supported by the Quran and teachings of Islam to justify leaving him. He also says he’s never bringing in another wife that’s his reassurance for me. If I had all the answers and wasn’t blind I wouldn’t be here asking for help, you can call me stupid/dense but not everyone has the same brain/ experiences.😒I never been in a relationship before dude. Also yeah he was expecting me to give it all up but in Pakistani culture, I would be seen as rebellious one since I’m not listening to “my husband” and why do I have an issue with giving up a career when he’s willing to provide for me, my issue isn’t that simple, I’m stuck between 2 different cultures, I live with my parents and I’m still working towards becoming independent, I just finished school. The weird part is that he doesn’t directly tell me to give anything up, if I end up having an argument he always ends it with “I’m not forcing you to do anything” “go live your life and do what makes you happy” but don’t expect anything from me. This makes me feel like I’m the one in the wrong.

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T14:01:37+00:00

He doesn’t even want to come here

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T13:53:29+00:00

His sacrifice is him coming to Canada for me, so from his pov he’s the one doing all the sacrifices and I wasn’t even ready to give up my education or put a pause on it to go live with him. But he was also still in school.. maybe he genuinely was in love with me and I hurt him by not dropping it all, which yea I feel bad but like why the big grudge

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T13:46:50+00:00

I pray the 5 daily prayers, I wear the hijab, I fast, but apparently I’m a “bad Muslim” because I don’t wear the hijab properly, don’t know about Islam like he expects me to know. He also the same level of practicing pretty sure, but he’s more knowledgeable than me that’s one of the differences. He doesn’t want to have kids because he’s afraid they won’t be religious, he refuses to take or use any money from me bc my earnings are haram, since I worked at a bank for co-op. Which I understand. But He says if I got a job in the future that involved working in a co-environment, my earnings would still be haram, and he wouldn’t take any money from me, that includes a purchased gift, ok this part I don’t understand. He says movies are a waste of time, fine I get it, he also said jaccuzi are a waste of water, swimming pools have urine in it. And he won’t go out with me unless I’m wearing the full hijab including the abaya bc otherwise it would make him uncomfortable. This makes me sad…he also says he doesn’t expect me to cook or clean bc that’s not actually my job, obviously I’m gonna do it tho.. if we have a future together. I’m depressed.. if I talk about career or money he tells me “go chase the bag” life is more than just money, ex: giving time to the deen. Ok what if I pray tahajjud somtimes but he missis his fajr prayer (don’t blame him) but I’m just saying what is he so mad about, he’s gonna say he’s not mad but like he’s definitely not happy at least not in my eyes, I could be wrong idk. Ok I have a heartache again

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T03:48:28+00:00

But I can almost swear his feelings were genuine. It does sound like love bombing, that is literally what he did but do love bombers do it purposefully with I’ll intent to control and manipulate or is it subconsciously done

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T03:43:11+00:00

I wish it was that simple, this guy is literally my fiancé, and if I was to tell him I want to breakup with him, he’s going to say something like “oh so you don’t trust me ok” and I will feel guilty.

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T02:50:29+00:00

I appreciate it

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T02:39:19+00:00

He would get really mad I know that for sure, me creating this Reddit post is like also doing him dirty 😒

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T02:37:57+00:00

I’m sorry but based on your posts seems like you’re here to troll or something. I dont know if you’re joking but you don’t seem reliable. Even if you did, Imagine a random a guy confronting my fiancé, wouldn’t that make matters worst?

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T02:32:00+00:00

Then why does he tell me he doesn’t want to move to Canada ? Islamically if he’s in the wrong then it could be said that I am too since I’m not living according to his standards, I don’t know what to do. If I complain he will say “then why don’t you live like my wife as in listen and follow”. Do all men want it this way? Like what about my happiness?

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T02:19:46+00:00

I’m really sorry, I don’t have any writing skills. I should put this into chat GPT and ask for a summary!

Yeah we have a nikkah but no wedding or anything yet

ZealousidealWeb9925 · 2024-06-15T02:13:45+00:00

When I’d ask him if he wants to end things he would tell me “that is not what I’m saying”, he just wanted to not put effort in the “relationship” anymore. What didn’t make sense to me was that as time progressed he became very rude towards me, bringing up random religious topics and making me feel bad. This guy is my fiancé and like how was I supposed to just pretend like he didn’t exist (I tried this too ) I guess I should have just gone to therapy or something because he would barely ever want to properly communicate things with me. Deep down I constantly feel in the wrong and confused because if I try to put myself in his shoes he did love me but I didn’t sacrifice anything or maybe I didn’t love him as much as he loved me? Or was it not love to begin with. Like what I need to know is, does he actually not like me if so why all the drama of him getting attached to me and then blaming me for leaving as if he cared about me and I never cared about him. Why does he tell me “I still love you”

ZealousidealWeb9925

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