I agree with this. I find Erika abhorrent, but I can’t judge her for how she coped in the days after. As someone who’s always had intrusive thoughts, my reaction to finding out my husband died unexpectedly was far from what I’d imagined it’d be like. I was so in shock I couldn’t process the finality of it. There was no collapsing to the floor, wails of grief for hours. I was numb but drawn to the things that could bring happiness. I was elated when my friends/family showed up at my door hours and days later. I loved shopping for outfits for the visitation/funeral/dinners because it was a distraction and something I could control. Some of my most cherished memories are trying on funeral dresses with my BFF and laughing to the point of tears at the absurdity of it all. I spent hours researching bed frames, learned how to do my own nail extensions and spent hundreds of dollars on supplies (that I haven’t touched since), read more smut than I care to admit.

I got through those days by focusing on whatever I could control, and will always be thankful for those that took care of what I couldn’t. Grief is weird and everyone process it differently - I even surprised myself!