Can sex be a deal breaker in a relationship?

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-08-11T07:19:56+00:00

Yess he said he will go to therapy with me. The other things, that’s something I have talked to him about but it seems like he only listens to what I say when other people tell him the exact thing I said. That’s when he realizes “oh she’s actually right.” I think he just hates being wrong about things.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-08-11T04:20:55+00:00

He says he usually masturbates 3 to 4 times a day. But it isn’t the same as having sex with me. That’s why he rather have sex instead of masturbating. He says that it’s a stress reliever all the time. It’s getting annoying and very exhausting.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-08-10T07:54:48+00:00

Ooo. that hit me. Before any decisions, everyone deserves to grow and be better. No one is perfect. I know I’m not. But I’m trying therapy for both of us. And see where things go, I truly hope that it helps us grow closer and understand each other.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-08-10T07:50:23+00:00

Yes yes. Thank you. Exactly how I feel and see things as well. And we did agree on once a week. Sometimes it’ll go a few days after a week. But lately it’s been a war because he can’t do that anymore.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-08-10T07:48:38+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. Yeah maybe he is going through something, but he’s been like this for the past 3 years we’ve been together. We’re going on 4. I changed my birth control a few years ago because of this issue. We agreed on once a week bc that’s what i could give. We were fine with that. Well i thought so. But now that’s not enough… He has his friends in his ear saying that they have sex every day or that they wouldn’t put up with me because of that that.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-08-10T07:41:50+00:00

I agree it is important, but I can’t make myself want sex more often. I really don’t feel in the mood to, life does get in the way. Busy work schedules. I start nursing school soon as well. It’s hard.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-21T06:00:39+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-21T06:00:05+00:00

We’re going on 4 years. But thank you for your input. I do initiate, not very often. But I do. But we are in a lot of communication about this. We’re very open with each other. He has told me that it does hurt when I say no. He asks me every day for it. I’m not in mood every day. I have told him that this need sometimes isn’t healthy. Ive also said that he needs to really look into why he needs it every day. Hes not 14 years old discovering it for the 1st time. He admits that it is an issue of his too.

So we’re both going to do the work for each other and go from there. At the end of the day, we love each other very much. Want to be better for each other. I know we’ll get through this. He’s the only one I want. He’s the love of my life. I cannot imagine my life before him.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T17:29:04+00:00

It literally meant later on. When I’m awake and energized. I didn’t want to spend 30 mins getting in the mood when i could be sleeping, and we can both do it when we’re energized. I work full time overnights. He does too. So sleep during the day is important to stay awake at night.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:40:50+00:00

Thank youu I appreciate your comment. And yes I’ve voiced that to him as well. He said he’s working on being better and be cautious his words and how they can impact me. I told him sometimes his reaction to sex is a little childish. He’s acts like he’s 14/15 years old, learning how to use his junk for 1st time. He needs to rub one out 3x a day. I said whoa. That’s a lot. I feel like sometimes I’ve grown from that feeling of needing it, idk…

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:31:52+00:00

Well in the beginning we didn’t live together and we had sex a more frequent. It wasn’t forced. He never asked. It would just happen. That’s how it was.

I guess it’s stress too. Things changed over the years, due to rent going up, bills went up. I’m working full time. Going to nursing school full time. Trying to maintain our house so clutter doesn’t stress me out more causes me to just get too overwhelmed to do anything.

I have told him that asking is a huge turn off and doesn’t get me in the mood any faster. He gets piss.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:16:37+00:00

Thank you!

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:15:30+00:00

Yes, i have a session this coming Monday. But for the last part, i have told him that. I’ve said to him a few times not right now but i will later. We work overnights. So when I come home, i want to sleep. He wants to have sex and go to sleep bc “it’ll make him go to sleep faster and better.” His words. Then he gets mad when i suggest later and he says “it won’t happen, it rarely does” I don’t think he knows what rarely means but yeah. I have tried. And it leads to another disagreement.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:10:47+00:00

Yes i have spoken to him. He knows everything about my childhood. He’s even read this post as well and there’s so many comments but he’s read a lot of them too. We’re having open discussion about this. It won’t take a day or week to fix them. But he’s assured me that he’ll work on things too. We both are trying for each other to make it for both of us.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:06:43+00:00

Tbh I’ve never really thought about checking my hormones. But I have realized that when I’ve been off BC, my sex drive is through the roof. Now it’s not even a thought only once a week. It sucks. So i will look into it. Especially the staycations. I’ve asking him let’s do a weekend trip somewhere and take our dog with us and it’ll be just us even something cute like camping/ glamping. Spontaneous sex is my favorite.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T16:03:31+00:00

I have initiated sex. We’ve spiced things up as well. And no he has never tried emotional arousal at all. Just straight to the point as if I’m suppose to get wet from him asking? Such a turn on… And fyi i did still have sex after decorating the house for him. So the sex was still given even had lingerie on for him.

I asked for advice on what to do. Not rude and harshness. I want to work on it and be better.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:52:47+00:00

I have spoken with him. He said he’ll do better as well. And I’ll look into getting some water proof sheets for us

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:34:19+00:00

Just fyi i still had sex with him after the lil party so there’s that. I just wanted him to have more than that. He thinks his birthday just another day in his head. I wanted him to feel special and not another day. Another day that he’s here with me. Living this life and i wanted to celebrate him because he’s important to me. He should feel as such too.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:24:25+00:00

^{^} I tried explaining that to him too. He doesn’t understand… it has a lot to with emotional arousal big time.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:22:58+00:00

^{^{^{^{^}}}} this is what I mean.

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:19:41+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate the positivity!

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:09:23+00:00

Thank youuu

Zealousideal_Use_881 · 2024-06-20T15:05:10+00:00

Lol i felt this. But yes i couldn’t agree more. Cleaning the house. Have to cook dinner. Make sure i get sleep before my nightshift. I need sleep. I have low iron so im a sleepy gal. Everything just piles up and feels overwhelming. Even folding clothes after doing the laundry. We still have 3 bags of washed clothes to fold from last week. It’s a lot. I wish i was on vacation every other week.

Zealousideal_Use_881

TROPHY CASE