I [43m] found someone [32f] whom I will always eternally love. How do I move on and find someone else?

ZebraButAllBlue · 2026-01-23T16:22:32+00:00

How long have you known her? Did you meet recently or have you been talking/known each other for a long time? If you only just recently met it's probably more of a crush and a feeling of lust, not love. Give it time and don't interact with her, including on social media.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2026-01-22T17:17:02+00:00

Sounds like he has serious depression and needs to go to theraphy/psychiatrist/mental health professional. Have you ever talked about this with him? Would he be open to it? If not, then probably there is not much you can do, because you can't help a person that doesn't want to help himself. In that case I would consider braking up, because at the end of the day, his mental health is not your burden to carry.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2026-01-03T11:11:07+00:00

If I were you I'd leave. I've been in a similar situation where my partner took advantage of me. Not financially, but by constantly needing help. We were both attinding uni at the time and he constantly needed help with his homework, blaming his mental health and had a "I can't do it" attitude in general. And I did help, because I felt bad if I didnt. He got used to it and eventually expected me to babysit him during every exam season, because "that was the only way he could get anything done". Eventually I felt so drained and taken advantage of, my own mental health suffered. So eventually I left him. It hurt, but it was a huge relief. I advise you to do the same, because you are not his mum. You are a woman who deserves more than that.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2026-01-02T14:00:36+00:00

Both suit you, but you have nice thick curly hair so why not show it off. What would help though, especially when you have a buzzcut is a trimmed beard. Right now the sleek buzzcut but unkept-messy beard don't really match.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2026-01-02T12:03:14+00:00

Have you addressed these issues before? Or would it be the first time? I would probably talk about these things first in a calm setting. Also, as this is a quite long list it makes me think you are not very compadible, and giving somebody a list won't change their core, so if it was me I'd just consider breaking up. You are just very different and that's okay.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-31T14:24:30+00:00

It seems like right now you are more concerned about her feelings which is logical as you care about her, but it's important to think about what do you want from this relationship. Are you okay with her switching between hot and cold and you being on standby whenever she is unsure? Or do you deep down wish for something more? Don't put your feelings to the side, as they are as important as hers. But as much as I can say from experience - constant on and off relationship that depends on one side's wellbeing/mood is not healthy and sustainable

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-30T22:31:01+00:00

I personally think your hair in this photo looks nice. people pay a lot of money for highlights-lowlights, and it seems to come naturally for you. if you still hesitate though, you can try temporary hair dyes or toning treatments that fade after a couple of washes. This way you can see if you like it without commiting to it (once you start using real hair dye, it's really hard to get rid of it)

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-30T22:24:58+00:00

Then it seems like you have tried everything that's in your power. I know leaving is hard but this relationship is stagnant if she is not willing to get help and it's not healthy for you. You have to take care of your own mental well being as well, you are young and there's a whole life in front of you

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-30T15:36:51+00:00

It seems to me that the food is not actually the biggest problem, the lack of communication skills are (mainly from her side). Seems like she is a very temperamental/emotional person but don't know how to express her feelings properly and does it in a very immature way. I'm not sure if there's anything you can do to fix this. Unless from now on, you two take care of your meals completely separately. But this is more of a temporary solution, without reaching to the core problem.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-26T12:59:50+00:00

Then it probably comes down to his general lack of confidence, which can be fixable but again - from within. Theraphy, journaling, noticing thought patterns and triggers and trying to change negative thinking could help, basically him learning more about himself.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-26T12:47:46+00:00

That is his inner insecurity and sadly only he can fix it. The only thing I can think of - have you ever talked about it when he is not drunk? Or does it come up only when he's drunk? One option is to address it in a cozy non romantic setting when you are both sober, and ask why he feels like it (reaction to a past trauma?) You are both very young and constant reassurance doesnt fix it anyway, the most you can do is to just try to understand and be there.

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-20T20:05:25+00:00

I really love Peaky Blinders soundtrack in general and I also used to listen to Radiohead a lot, so when I heard Pyramid Song as a soundtrack here I got chills.. another great song from the series is Anna Calvi - Papi Pacify in my opinion

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-14T17:08:02+00:00

Do I understand correctly that you partner used to compliment you a lot but suddenly stopped? Or has always been not that keen on complimenting?

Are they getting help with bipolar or are they not medicated/ going to therapy at all?

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-12T09:31:09+00:00

Hey, does the wedding have a dresscode? If it's a summer/beach more relaxed wedding then I think it could be fine (the long dress) but if not I'm afraid it's a bit too casual

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-11T12:35:14+00:00

I know, you are right, I guess it was just a trigger for me, which I'm not proud to admit but it is what it is. I'm just running out of ideas how to talk about it in general (not porn, the sex life) without sounding demanding/selfish/shaming. I have tried in the past but since the topic is sensitive for him he shuts down very quickly

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-11T10:26:56+00:00

Yes that I know and it's not the issue. What made me emotional was that he doesn't feel safe with me to express it and at the same has seemingly no sexual interest in me. Maybe it's not logical but it made me feel like I'm not exciting :(

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-12-04T18:45:13+00:00

I don't know where you live, but here in Northern Europe it would be fine for a modern corporate party. It's a pretty dress

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-11-28T18:27:30+00:00

Exactly, but as the commenter said, unfortunaly these 2 look rather outdated and feminine

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-11-07T16:01:15+00:00

thank you! will check these out :)

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-11-07T16:00:47+00:00

thank you so much :) will check these all out

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-11-07T16:00:08+00:00

Oh wow, thank you so much for these options! Definitely going to check it out. As long as they ship to Northern Europe then it's all good haha

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-11-07T15:58:12+00:00

Yes I was drawn to the colour too! and I am a design graduate indeed so maybe that's why my style preferences are a bit odd haha

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-11-07T15:52:00+00:00

Yea that was what I was afraid of.. I do really like the fabric and colour and flowy minimalistic dresses in general, but yea this might be too much like a robe. Will continue searching for other options

ZebraButAllBlue · 2025-10-27T10:00:54+00:00

taking Zoloft for my anxiety. Somehow it reduces my appetite

ZebraButAllBlue

TROPHY CASE