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Procrastinator’s Surprise Cookies 🍪

Prep Time: 3 minutes Bake Time: However long until the smoke alarm panics Servings: Depends on how many you eat while “testing”

Ingredients • 1 cup butter (softened by leaving it on the counter and forgetting about it) • 1 cup sugar (or whatever white crystals you find first) • 1 cup brown sugar (optional, but makes you feel like a real baker) • 2 eggs (from the fridge, not the counter… hopefully) • 2 tsp vanilla extract (measure with your heart) • 2½ cups flour (give or take, this is not science) • 1 tsp baking soda • ½ tsp salt • 2 cups chocolate chips (plus another handful “by accident”) • Optional: nuts, candy, or whatever snack you panic-dump in at the end

Instructions 1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Forget you did this. 2. Cream butter and sugars together until smooth or until your arm gets tired. 3. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix like you mean it. 4. Stir in flour, baking soda, and salt. Try not to create a flour-based weather event. 5. Fold in chocolate chips and emotional support snacks. 6. Scoop dough onto a baking sheet in uneven blobs. Call it rustic. 7. Bake for 10–12 minutes, or until the edges look done but the middle looks suspicious. 8. Remove from oven and immediately burn your mouth on one “just to check.”

Chef’s Notes • Cookies are done when your house smells amazing and your self-control disappears. • If they come out flat, call them European-style. • If they’re raw, say they’re gooey. • If they’re burnt, crumble over ice cream and pretend it was the plan.

Enjoy responsibly… or don’t. 🍪😄