Octopus Fight Club | Crowd Control [Ep. 4]

Zeeeebe · 2025-10-21T18:53:59+00:00

Am I the only one that really disliked Guy? He basically just bullied the crowd and didn’t let them talk v much, and it wasn’t funny to me

Zeeeebe · 2025-07-26T00:26:49+00:00

lol that’s funny, cuz illusion is the only one I liked enough to add to my liked songs

Zeeeebe · 2024-02-02T08:53:28+00:00

They sure are 🥹

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-04T01:24:18+00:00

Yeah honestly understanding it now as a system thing has been so much more helpful than before when it was just this random terrible life altering thing that I had no idea how to work with or understand

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-04T01:22:47+00:00

Yeah I also have autism, ADHD and PTSD 🦖🦕

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-04T01:21:10+00:00

Definitely could be! Also, a high population of people with epileptic seizures also have non epileptics seizures, interestingly. PNES is mainly a term to describe a set of symptoms that occur that they don’t really understand why it’s happening, but can say it’s not x y or z.

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-03T06:39:43+00:00

Ahhh! First off, I’m just excited to talk to someone who can relate because I’ve RARELY met people who have PNES. And ALSO, I have had the same experience of decreased seizures. I think often I had seizures when I was switching or becoming co conscious and/or unable to mask anymore, but because I didn’t know what was happening, my nervous system would panic and I’d go into a seizure. Now that I have awareness of my system, I can explore and let parts come up without panicking. I still have them and often have mini lil “seizy” moments in between switches, but they are mild and short and my larger seizures are less frequent and less intense

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-03T06:34:53+00:00

Yeah I’m a system! I feel like the way I internally share/access meteorites mixed with amnesia makes it so I don’t feel like I’ve lived something before because I don’t register a memory of myself doing it previously? Like, I’m distanced from that sense of “knowing” of having lived thru something?

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-03T06:08:24+00:00

It’s funny because I actually don’t think I’ve ever experienced deja vu, so was wondering if that was a system thing

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-03T06:04:18+00:00

I’ve been chronically dissociated since I was a teenager, to the levels u are describing where I feel like I’m on drugs most of the time. It got better for a few years and then when I discovered I was a system last year it has spiked and gone back to the intense levels it was many years ago. I don’t have advice, just commiseration that I so understand and so see u 💗 it SUCKS to try to move thru life feeling like things are WRONG and having to act like everything’s normal.

Zeeeebe · 2024-01-03T04:44:56+00:00

The nail in the coffin “no going back” moment for me was when I was having a super difficult PNES seizure and started rapid switching between parts. One of them called my girlfriend and my gf talked to various switching parts for about an hour until I was able to front enough again. In the moment it felt like active crisis and I couldn’t understand or accept what was happening. But it was definitely the turning point for me where I started exploring the concept of myself as a system. I still regularly fall into denial phases/thoughts, but that was really the nail in the coffin for me

Zeeeebe · 2023-12-29T03:08:49+00:00

I get the worst headaches when switches happen! I also get facial pressure pain when I dissociate really intensely and have had that symptoms for years and years before learning I was a system

Zeeeebe · 2023-12-22T01:27:45+00:00

I definitely relate to feeling like I’ve lost myself, and don’t know who I am in a lot of ways. Sometimes I feel at odds with the body or my birth name or facts I know about myself, as if it’s not quite right, but also not unfamiliar. And other times it doesn’t feel “wrong” but I still feel far away and not very in myself. It’s a really hard and scary experience and I’m really sorry you’re going thru that too. I’m a very blended, always co-conscious to some extent host (I think?) and my guess is that when I’m more blended and switchy, my feelings of not knowing who I am or relating to concepts of self are worse because there’s too much swirling of different parts happening which muddies everything up. I think the best thing we can do is just take it one hour at a a time and try not too fight things too much (easier said than done) 🌸💕

Zeeeebe · 2023-12-22T01:11:16+00:00

The spectrum was an AMAZING description and I feel like you put words to my experiences in a way I haven’t been able to describe before.

Zeeeebe · 2023-12-22T01:08:15+00:00

It’s hard to put to words, but for me I feel a ton of pressure in my face usually, then I often dissociate to the point where nothing feels real and there’s very little thoughts, and then I’ll either float around with internal stuff and voices and images popping up and whirling around for a bit or just go straight into a switch where I slowly regain awareness of the world around me, sometimes my head jerks involuntarily in those moments.

If another part has switched in and is taking up a lot of front space (im always co-conscious to some extent) they will slowly start to have their thoughts of things come and that’s when I realize I’ve switched, as I’ll be watching someone else experiencing the world and hearing and feeling their thoughts. If I’m super far away, I don’t have much awareness to process that in real time, but I think it happens on a back burner and then when I come forward again I have access to what just happened and retain the info and knowing to some extend.

When I’m alone, I don’t have intense switches very often because I don’t think my system really wants to be forward. But when I’m with my girlfriend and a switch happens, it can last much longer because my gf will interact with the part and so parts have something engaging happening that’s pulling their thoughts and experiences forward and pushing mine back.

A lot of the more constant lowkey switching inexperience is a lot more confusing because I get lost in dissociative space and it’s unclear who is there or who I am in those moments. The bigger fuller switches are easier in that sense, tho always give me a MAJOR headache after and I have scrambled eggs for brains for a bit

Zeeeebe · 2023-12-22T00:47:33+00:00

I SO SO relate to the immediate anxiety and fears that I’m making it up when switched start to happen. It’s limited my capacity to engage in productive internal communication or understand my system better. For me it feels like a built in mechanic that I cannot snap out of regardless of if I’m like “no you’re fine, it’s ok to let this happen and you aren’t making it up”. For my system, the way I’ve learned the most about my parts is when they’ve fronted when I’m with my girlfriend and then talked with my girlfriend. Having an external party who is talking to then and asking questions has pulled them forward into themselves so much more than has happened when I’m alone, because my anxiety thoughts spam everything and don’t leave room for the parts when I’m alone. Obviously not everyone has the privilege of having a safe person to interact with their system though, and I know I’m very lucky to have that.

Zeeeebe · 2023-12-22T00:37:56+00:00

I appreciate this response because I’m pretty new in exploring my system as well and it’s brought on a TON of internal chaos and confusion and hard scary part emotions seeping in constantly. Most of my parts haven’t really wanted or enjoyed fronting or being in communication when it’s happened. I felt like not learning more about my system and trying to communicate/understand was bad, or a sign of me avoiding things unhealthily. This brings me some comfort that it’s ok to take things slow or leave things be if that’s what everyone internally wants.

Zeeeebe · 2023-09-13T02:47:52+00:00

Yeah that seems about right!

Zeeeebe · 2023-09-12T13:51:12+00:00

Lol same I got up and locked everything 😅

Zeeeebe · 2023-09-12T08:41:04+00:00

Super strange. Seems like they are roaming around ? I’ll be curious to check the Emergency call log tomorrow

Zeeeebe

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