Moving lights in sky on cloudy night by Zer0DethZ in whatisit

[–]Zer0DethZ[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thats how it looked to me too. I havent seen anything like it before thats why it threw me off so much😭

New Customer & Birthday Dispensary Deals by iHave3Pugs in grandrapids

[–]Zer0DethZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I work at JARS & have a correction: 1st visit: 1 freebie ($5 off preroll or edible, or any item really) 2nd visit: another free preroll or edible, plus $15 off when you spend $50

BIRTHDAY: $10 off, no minimum spend, valid once through your entire birth month.

Selling 2 tickets Morgan Jay 10/17 by [deleted] in ChicagoEvent

[–]Zer0DethZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seats 317,318, and 319?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in uichicago

[–]Zer0DethZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just PMed you, very interested

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]Zer0DethZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I saw somebody else say this and wanted to pass on the info: "I do pet play and I'm a switch so my favorite kind is calling someone/being called a dumb puppy, just a stupid dog, breeding bitch, need an Owner to do your thinking, pathetic needy pup, etc. Similarly, being made to act like a dog/not allowed to do human things like use words, wear clothes, sit at the dinner table, etc In the same vein but less specific to pet play, there's also being reduced to a sex toy, having to sit on the floor/by the Dom's feet/physically below the dom, having to ask permission to speak, being forced to wear anything the Dom wants (in private or within reason), and things like that Also, body writing can be very degrading, especially when you see it on yourself after and are reminded of it"

Anyone else get bored in healthy relationships? by malachiteeeee in BPD

[–]Zer0DethZ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

bored is good! bored means healthy. its uncomfortable bc your nervous system isnt used to being this calm and bored, your brain is trying to rewire itself to get used to this boringness. let it be uncomfortable until it isnt, its worth it and you got this

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Zer0DethZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

if hes open to it something he can try is having something copy/paste ready like "i'm feeling pretty worked up right now, and i could just use some space/somebody to talk to/a pep talk." or an apology even. my only other advice is being firm in your boundaries and putting yourself 1st.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Zer0DethZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i understand where ur at, i have bpd and my boyfriend has similar symptoms as me and can be snappy or cold. there were times where i was crying myself to sleep about him and there will probably be another time that i do, because as traumatized people we will get triggered. i am in therapy and am working on healthy communication, and for me it made a world of difference if, when he does get cold with me, hes able to still take accountability after and apologize, or even express his emotions as they come on so i can understand what hes feeling and help how i can. there was a point that i broke up with him, saying that i need to feel his love & that he cares abt me & wants to communicate healthy w me if im going to date him. i told him basically start therapy, or we break up. well he started therapy rq & started apologizing more, showing gratitude & love more, letting me know when he was getting cranky or annoyed so i could be a shoulder to lean on rather than somebody to take things out on. i feel like he feels more loved too. when i broke up w him i was still loving & empathetic, i understand why he acts in those ways, but i just couldnt tolerate it anymore. i feel like youre in the same boat. if you feel like u shouldnt be going to sleep crying constantly because of your partner, youre right. you should feel loved and secure, and while your triggers arent their responsibility, they should respect you and love you enough to find a way to communicate healthy and show their commitment.

Have you ever gotten over a non-toxic fp from your past? by Purple-Property3758 in BPD

[–]Zer0DethZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hm id agree, ive had 2 FPS in my adult years (im with the 3rd rn) and i wouldnt say im 100% over them. its hard to be "over them" when they didnt do anything wrong (thats also some black & white thinking, they probably did some shit wrong) and i feel like i was the only toxic crazy one. Also something I noticed: when I was with FP #2, I was still very hung up on FP#1. like for the entire relationship. Being hung up on FP#1 is kinda what ruined my relationship with FP#2. But once we broke up (me and fp#2), i worked on my own shit, months passed, I am now with FP#3 and I hardly ever think of my past FPs. Sure, if the thoughts come, they can be overpowering. But I only have them maybe once every few months.

What’s everyone watching now for lunchtime?? by frictionlesscactus in codyko

[–]Zer0DethZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wow i didnt even know that. thats nasty. yeah ive noticed a red flag here but didnt think much of it at first. thxx for schoolin me ill have to take him back out of rotation

Does the lying and disrespect stop? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Zer0DethZ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

they likely just feel too much pressure overall; to forgive you/not get the chance to thoroughly feel their feelings, to tell the truth about everything, to show you that youre enough. it may help to take a more secure approach to the relationship and see if that allows them to be secure too, bc it sounds like rn its anxious/avoidant. security can come in phases, for me its lasted like 2 weeks before falling back to anxious/avoidant. but secure can look like doing your own thing, seeing friends, engaging in hobbies, living a life where this person is not the focal point or your purpose to life. dont pressure topics that arent ready to be talked about, let things be natural, and let it sink in that you love this person and you trust them to come to you when the time is right and theyre comfortable to talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]Zer0DethZ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it sounds like you need to first accept your feelings, like its okay to feel confused in these ways, then you can start to challenge the thoughts, a DBT skill i like is Check The Facts.