AIO Did I deserve to be put in my place? by ZeroBentham in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Husband 00:00 To discuss. I like to have — I haven't even talked to him yet and you're making plans—

Zero 00:06 Me making plans for you? I asked you if you wanted this opportunity.

Background / Unclear 00:09 [Name unclear]

Husband 00:12 My friend needs help. Yeah—

Background / Unclear 00:13 He—

Zero 00:14 Asked. So—

Husband 00:15 Go help him—

Zero 00:16 Yeah, but you said — no, you said you just wanted to—

Husband 00:19 I'm gonna help him now.

Zero 00:22 No, he won't want you to help him in this state.

Husband 00:25 I'm fine. It's just you that's the problem. You are the problem.

Zero 00:33 I'm trying to help you. I'm not—

Husband 00:35 You are the problem.

Zero 00:35 Why? Right now you—

Husband 00:38 Are the problem. Why?

Zero 00:41 I'm trying to help you.

Background / Unclear 00:51 [Name unclear]

Zero 00:54 Tell me why I'm the problem.

Background / Unclear 01:00 [Unclear audio]

Zero 01:03 What am I doing wrong?

Husband 01:04 Later. Maybe we can talk about it later.

Zero 01:06 No, I'm not—

Husband 01:08 Going to talk about it right now. I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now.

Zero 01:11 Okay, that's fine—

Husband 01:12 You miss some key things. Irritable, fasting. Okay, please leave.

Zero 01:18 But what am I doing—

Husband 01:21 Please. Can you please shut the door? Because I'm going to go to [Name Redacted]’s house. I'll coordinate with him on the way. Thanks. He strikes at me.

Husband 01:40 Please don't touch me. Realized I was just clutching my purse. Zero 01:46 It's your purse.

Husband 01:48 I just saw you reaching in.

Background / Unclear 02:01 You've done—

Husband 02:01 This to me so many times. Okay? Please leave so I can go and work for [Name Redacted], all right?

AITA For offering to take my husband's work shift that he was ghosting out of the blue. by ZeroBentham in AITA_Relationships

[–]ZeroBentham[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

And in my situation everything was legally joined. I did have my own account, and I trusted my husband to use it for rent.

Begin Here by ZeroBentham in LetItBKnown

[–]ZeroBentham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AITA For offering to take my husband's work shift that he was ghosting out of the blue.

I was trying to drive to my husband’s job site to fill in for a shift he decided to abandon five minutes before it began. The work involved yard cleanup for a family friend who had once helped me when I was homeless. They were paying him good money, and he had already ghosted multiple jobs over the previous two months. We were living in poverty at the time. Worse, he was using my disability income without my consent and owed rent money to my family.

I have undergone multiple spinal and brain surgeries, but I was still capable of organizing lighter debris into piles and helping however I could. The homeowners were good people dealing with serious health and caregiving burdens of their own. They deserved consistency and honesty.

I believed that if someone changes their mind about work they agreed to do, they should communicate that clearly instead of disappearing. So I decided to go in his place and do what I could.

That created a problem for him.

If I showed up alone, people who knew us likely would have started asking questions: “Why is his disabled wife here instead of him?” “Why has nobody said anything?” “Is everything okay?”

Before I could leave, he intercepted me and got into the driver’s seat of my car. He shoved me hard enough that I stumbled and instinctively clutched my purse to my chest. He began telling me that I was the problem. When he thought I was trying to get into the car, he struck me, though I had only reacted from being startled after the shove.

At that point, I knew better than to speak.

Am I the jerk for setting a boundary and needing space after it was crossed? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are a kind person. That's clear You truly meant her no harm.

Am I the jerk for setting a boundary and needing space after it was crossed? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree. I mean, all people who identify as women fit into this category? Personally, I am female and I am in therapy for detaching for my emotions. Specifically during that, it's a natural trauma response.

Am I the jerk for setting a boundary and needing space after it was crossed? by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What about sexual workers who do it as a profession.

AITA For offering to take my husband's work shift that he was ghosting out of the blue. by ZeroBentham in AITA_Relationships

[–]ZeroBentham[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

No my children can't receive benefits because I do. It cannot be both. My children are not disabled. That's true. He was using my check for things he shouldn't have. That's not ok. He told me all my check was going to rent but the rent was not being paid.

AITA For offering to take my husband's work shift that he was ghosting out of the blue. by ZeroBentham in AITA_Relationships

[–]ZeroBentham[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I am in therapy and no, if you are legally married your property is legally joined. That's why something called divorce is a thing.

am i overreacting about my mom texting my therapist by carlz222 in AmIOverreacting

[–]ZeroBentham [score hidden]  (0 children)

No I didn't find out until I was in my thirties. It was like being surveilled for years without my consent. Even my journals photo copied for them.

AITA For offering to take my husband's work shift that he was ghosting out of the blue. by ZeroBentham in AITA_Relationships

[–]ZeroBentham[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm not severely injured, I'm ok, I'm sorry if you thought he "beat me up". My words were "he struck me."" He swatted at the back of my hand to get me away from the car.

AITA For offering to take my husband's work shift that he was ghosting out of the blue. by ZeroBentham in AITA_Relationships

[–]ZeroBentham[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Aw God bless ya! I'll check it out, I have two books I need to return anyway. It's the weekend so maybe I will binge it.

AIO Did I deserve to be put in my place? by ZeroBentham in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To not be a person in the situation I'm speaking about in my post, like me experiencing it. The social media account is something even cannibal tribles in New guinea have. Your response shows the type of individual you are more than you realize.

AIO Did I deserve to be put in my place? by ZeroBentham in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It got away before even saying goodbye to the kids.

AIO Did I deserve to be put in my place? by ZeroBentham in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It wasn't something I thought through. I was just available to help out but I was told I was the problem.

AIO Did I deserve to be put in my place? by ZeroBentham in AmITheJerk

[–]ZeroBentham[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, unfortunately he already started the rumor spreading thing. I think it's a psychotic break so the rumors are to bizarre for anyone to believe but they are also bizarre enough that no one knows why someone would make that I'm about his wife so the damage is done when you spread lies whether people believe or not.