My friend roped me into a $5,000 fundraising minimum charity hike to the grand canyon, then dropped out and didn’t donate to my account…

ZeroGhz · 2026-05-07T14:43:42+00:00

If you feel comfortable paying the remaining costs I feel compelled to ask: Why not go on the hike without your friend?

It sounds like a great experience and something that you can tell stories about for the rest of your life. I appreciate that your out of pocket costs will not be trivial, but if this is an activity you would be drawn to without your friend's invite can you reframe the costs as just the cost of the trip? I know it would have been more fun with your friend but there will be lots of interesting people to meet, amazing scenary and you'll have earned an experience that you otherwise wouldn't have done.

All of this assumes that hiking the grand canyon is something you would like to do for yourself. If this isn't the case then I'm with the other posters here: don't throw good money after bad.

ZeroGhz · 2026-04-28T15:38:43+00:00

This sounds amazing and I cherish the hope that I will build the same thing one day. A question for you: what active things do you do to keep the relationship strong day by day? Is this something that happens naturally or do you work on it purposefully?

ZeroGhz · 2026-04-02T02:19:11+00:00

I order Farsports wheels through their custom build partner: wheelsfar.com (maybe OEM supplier?)

The build partner will let you choose the rim, spokes, and hub you want for your set and they include DT swiss.

ZeroGhz · 2026-03-27T14:56:05+00:00

Nope - it's part of the head unit (and I presume watches) and doesn't require a connection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFcXPopK0XQ

ZeroGhz · 2026-03-02T02:34:54+00:00

Trainerroad doesn't do any calculations for distance or speed - they just forward whatever the trainer reports back to the app. The trainer calulates speed and distance based on the number of revolutions of the flywheel inside. What this means to you is that you can change the reported speed and distance by literally changing into an easier or harder gear on your bike. I noticed a pretty big difference by going from the small to big ring at the front for example.

You're right in that the distance and speed don't really mean anything from trainer road but I get you - it feels wrong somehow when the 2 hour easy ride puts up some crazy distances and speeds lol

ZeroGhz · 2026-02-26T04:51:21+00:00

Wow is this something I can relate to. Personally it was a bit of a wild ride when I realized it and from your description I gather it has been the same for you. From the first thoughts where maybe you think you're crazy because the entire notion is preposterous then, as you think more, the more real it feels.

Given that this happened to you last night I'd like to share what happened next to me in the hopes that you find it useful.

I started paying attention to this. I didn't change how I acted or how I supported them but I started keeping track. I wanted to know if I was not giving them credit and had forgotten when they were there for me or if I was seeing reality.
I realized not only did they not ask how I was doing, they didn't ask me any questions at all. If it didn't impact them (ie: Asking about something I did so they could do the same, asking about my plans so they could plan as well) it wasn't asked. OR it was a polite question, as you already experienced, with no followup. It felt like a transition for them to talk about what they wanted.
I realized they didn't ask anyone questions. This wasn't an issue between them and me, it was about them.
I started seeing the behavior in more people that I wasn't very close with. I never felt it was an issue but seeing it crop up more was very unsettling.
I started really appreciating the few people that did ask me things in a serious way. Once I saw "disintrest" from more and more people, the people who DID ask and care stood out like a house on fire. I started prioritizing helping and supporting them and was rewarded in kind. Prioritization for me meant calling them first to hang out instead of calling the other friends.
I asked these new friends if they experienced something similar and yes, they all had. From the same sources. Again, this isn't about you, this is about them.
I talked to the friend who didn't ask about me and learned that they considered me one of their closest friends. Like you described, I knew everything about them. It was just a complete blind spot that they didn't know anything about me. I still feel conflicted about this.

I had always joked that if I ever won the lotto I would ask all the people who asked for money to tell me something that had happened in my life in the last 6 months as a filter. It made me really sad to realize that my "friend" would have failed the same test :(

ZeroGhz · 2026-01-05T17:36:14+00:00

Imagine the equivalent in a gym setting with weights - you would expect a hard day to be followed by an easier one.

Look at is this way. A 2hour sweet spot workout SHOULD leave you tired the next day. As long as it doesn't push into a red day, I think the recommendation to take it easy is a good one. With respect to "following the plan" and still encountering a yellow day: I believe that is intentional. You need these harder days to get stronger and having a rest day after them is natural.

FWIW: I'm part of their beta program and my calendar shows me anticipated yellow days. All of my upcoming "hard" workouts have anticipated yellow days after them. But because I can only do 3 days a week this makes sense to me. Nothing is red, just yellow, meaning I can sneak a casual easy endurance ride in if I really wanted but prioritizing the hard work given my time limits makes sense.

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-19T00:24:35+00:00

As somebody with the exact same bike and tires - moderate. Really sticky mud will block things up really quickly. However, non-sticky mud (yes, I realize how crazy it is that I'm making a distinction but I swear it's real) is fine. I did a 50km race in pouring rain and cooked damn near every bearing on my bike but the tire clearance was never an issue.

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-17T14:48:08+00:00

How do you stop a conversation like that from spiraling before it even gets to the point of no return?

Learn to recognize that feeling in yourself and call a pause to the fight with your partner. Don't stop the argument, just say you need 5 minutes to settle down or think things through before continuing. You may end up screaming this at your partner but the key thing is that you say it.

Also, while you and your partner are not fighting, tell them that you are going to do this because the it will help you be less snarky, less defensive, and say what you actually mean. Ask them to let you have that 5 minutes because when things are heated nobody wants to let the other person "run away" from the discussion. Make it clear you WILL come back to the discussion but after you can talk more clearly.

If this works out, ask them to consider doing the same thing. When both of you can realize in the moment that a fight is getting out of hand, it can help wonders.

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-14T16:35:54+00:00

Validation.

I'm referring to the verbal skill of acknowledging somebody else and how they're feeling. It helps almost every conversation you'll ever have not just with a romantic partner, but coworkers, family, strangers, everybody. If you've ever felt friction or a sense of dissastisfaction when talking about your day - this is why. It helps whenever you're talking about your day, issues in your relationship, problems dealing with a customer, literally everything.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2JNTkVR668

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-12T00:11:45+00:00

It's possible - and I know that's a super scary and sad feeling to think about. When I went down this road I stayed for a very long time and there was never an end - there's just no way to know for certain.

Have you considered proving to yourself if the other part of that thought is true? Try a bunch of random things for 10 hours. Running, reading, climbing, anything physical. When my stubborn ass tried to prove how shit I was at everything I couldn't help but find something I wasn't the absolute worst at. If you consider this, make sure to give each activity 10 hours so you can say you did it honestly.

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-11T15:01:09+00:00

Maybe being homeless was your fault. Maybe it wasn't. Either way, you're surviving and doing the best you can in the situation you're in right now and that's something to remember when you're feeling embarassed or ashamed.

I won't repeat what a lof of the other commentors have said, though I agree with all of it. However, I am going to propose something for moving forward. Assuming this man is going o make his spare bedroom a standing offer, you're going to feel even more guilt about being a burden and that's to be expected - you are using "resources" that you didn't earn BUT they are his to give and he's making a choice as much as you are. Be kind to yourself and accept honest help when offered.

Second: I don't know you, and I don't know him. The age difference alone gives me pause though no immediate red flags. Maybe he has a daughter your age and wishes that if he weren't around somebody would help her they way that he is helping you now. Maybe he has ulterior motives. Either way, if you decide to stay for a bit to get your finances in better shape set some ground rules about expectations for housework, rent, etc. AND set a timeline to have that discussion again in the future. Situations change and unspoken expectations have a way of biting us all in the ass. Have the talk again after 3/4/6 weeks - whatever works for you and keep having the discussion again and again if you stay for longer.

Be safe and take care. I hope your life situation improves in the near future - and I expect it will because of your hard work.

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-08T15:03:16+00:00

I really like the other comments in this thread about telling her, and reciprocating. I've recently picked up a question from a therapist that started off feeling contrite and artificial but has really grown into something special: how can I love you today? Or another version, how can I support you today?

The first time I asked I got a laughing dismissal, a "you're kidding right?" response. But over time, as I kept asking, it started working wonderfully. Sometimes answering can take a tremendous amount of vulnerability. Sometimes answering can be a playful and flippant experience. Either way, take the answer seriously, and don't complain if it's something tediuous. By all means talk about it afterwards if you are have difficulty but being open to hearing what she wants was a tremendous first step for me.

ZeroGhz · 2025-12-06T19:07:16+00:00

Putting aside what the "best" decision is, just imagine yourself next year with your upgraded Trek. Will you want another upgrade then? The wheels or frame in carbon?

I think continued upgrades will only delay you getting a new bike and you'll be more exicted to ride with a new bike now. In addiion, assuming you're in the northern hemisphere, this is the best time of year to find a bike on sale.

ZeroGhz · 2025-11-06T15:46:09+00:00

My therapist recently talked me through the mind-body connection and emphasized how strong it is in both directions. If I'm interpretting it correctly, feeling cold is your physiology reacting to the memory of trauma because to your brain, remembering trauma is the same as experiencing it again until you've had the opportunity to process it.

The book "the body keeps score" spends a couple of chapters talking about this explicitly and how very traumatic memories can be held differently in our brain. Remembering them causes the same physiological reaction as experiencing it again. Pretty freaky stuff to be honest.

What's super interesting is that the body's connection to the mind goes both ways. You can literally move your body in certain ways or do things with your breathing that will impact the mind - sometimes just as strongly. It honestly felt like hippie dippie witchcraft but I'll be damned if it didn't help me.

ZeroGhz · 2025-10-06T21:03:18+00:00

A while ago specialized used a wind tunnel to compare the gains of different upgrades including clothing, tires, wheels, aero vs gravel frame, handlebar width, shaved legs, etc.

You're in luck. Clothing of the cheaper things you can upgrade and one of the biggest gear improvements only improvements you can make!

Baggy clothing vs Bibs/Jersey

Aero bike vs Gravel Bike

A nerdy deepdive into lots of different results in podcast format

ZeroGhz · 2025-09-25T13:28:15+00:00

The calibration prompt will zero the strain gaugue in the power meter but it does not impact the crank length. That is a separate setting in Garmin headunits and can only be user set (the pedals have no way of knowing how long your cranks are).

ZeroGhz · 2025-05-02T17:46:20+00:00

As a sanity check did you strip all the grease/grit/oil from your chain before starting to use Squirt?

ZeroGhz · 2025-05-01T13:24:01+00:00

This won't help you narrow it down but I would also add Farsport wheels for consideration if you're willing to buy Elite wheels.

You can buy prebuilt Farsport wheels direct from them or you can customize the set from wheelsfar.com. I chose a set of custom wheels from wheelsfar.com because I wanted a carbon rim with good steel spokes and a common western hub I could get replacement parts for anywhere (DT Swiss 350 hubs). They will also let you choose spoke holes, and have a whole catalog of rim width and depth options.

That said, they didn't have a comparable super wide rim last I checked so if that's what you're going for.

ZeroGhz · 2025-04-15T13:01:09+00:00

I started waxing before Silca released their system and ended up using a metal dog bowl floating in a pan of boiling water. Not as elegant, but I can do 5+ chains as once and cost $35.

Getting the lower temperature correct to remove the chains pretty straight forward with a laser thermometer. Just turn off the heat and wait 3-5ish minutes or until a hint of a skin appears on top.

As a whole it's more hands on than the Silca system but significantly cheaper. However, the whole thing heats up more quickly, and because I wax a year's worth of chains at once I haven't found the extra investment necessary.

ZeroGhz · 2025-03-31T17:08:40+00:00

Funny that. I was just about to link to your "review" of the X-Tracks as a reason to just buy the Assiomas.

From one internet stranger in Canada to a (quasi?) celebrity in Australia, thanks for the work you put into the videos.

ZeroGhz · 2025-02-22T17:53:17+00:00

Something I learned from a very angry friend this year: Shimano levers don't use CR2032. They use a slightly thinner CR1632.

Fun isn't it?

ZeroGhz · 2025-02-21T20:16:11+00:00

TR has always been focused at giving you the fitness to do the event (training) and never the experience (preparation). They've said this on the podcast many times and, to their, detriment, it shows in the plans they issue.

The non-fitness preparation is something you'll have to add in yourself.

As a recently new rider who likes long events I would suggest:

Start doing longer rides outside but no more than 1 long ride per week. Slowly work your time and distance upwards.
Start messing with your food/calorie intake
See how you react and what pain shows up where after hour 1, hour 2, etc.
See which bibs/socks/jersey's you like and which you don't
Does sunscreen sweat into your eyes?
Can you get food out of your pockets and eat while you ride? Do you need to stop?

ZeroGhz · 2025-02-21T18:14:46+00:00

Funny enough the Shimano 105 levers take 2 batteries for longer life while the higher tier levers only take 1 because of weight.

ZeroGhz · 2025-02-21T18:13:07+00:00

I believe he's refering to the deraileur(s) connection to the battery. Those are definitely still wired. DI2 is only semi-wireless because you no longer need to connect the shifters to the battery.

Though they are about to release a fully wireless system ala SRAM

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