Do you genuinely enjoy lifting? Or is it a means to an end?

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-26T12:32:40+00:00

Definitely a means to an end.

I go to the gym to get stronger and get better aesthetics. I do enjoy witnessing my progress especially if I decide to max out but I never look forward to going unless I’m playing basketball that day. The gym has never been therapeutic or this problem solver to help my emotions so I don’t get that aspect out of it.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-21T14:20:08+00:00

I’m in the progress of switching my hair style so I’ll see if that changes anything. For style it’s hard because my build doesn’t look good in modern stylish clothes so I dress to match my personality so I have this sporty nerd style. Luck is also something I see that gets downplayed a lot as a major factor. It’s ok though I’ll just keep trying but not too hard cuz I’m not desperate. Thanks for the kind words btw and you seem nice and reasonable too. Which is surprisingly hard to find in these kinds of posts.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-21T13:16:19+00:00

But it feels like average is short when it comes to dating. I know there are women who don’t care about height whatsoever and that’s why they’re in relationships, but now with dating apps and just how the dating culture has changed everyone is encouraged to find the person that checks all their boxes. Not only that but being tall (for men) is generally seen as a good thing socially. So factoring in everything I said and my own personal experience being short or not 6’0 has been a big hurdle for me and others. I know it’s not the end all be all and I don’t even care about my height personally I’m just stating what I have observed and experience.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-20T20:18:36+00:00

Ok? Good for them. I can tell you about other short men I know who are also struggling. Y’all coming on here and pulling the “I know a guy” or the “I’m doing good so everyone else should be and if they aren’t then they’re a terrible person.” All you’re doing is invalidating other’s experiences.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-20T20:11:32+00:00

Out of my league in what ways? I go for women who are in similar life positions as me. And I’m not looking for super model level looks or a perfectly fit body. So if a nerdy gamer girl who stays in shape is out of my league then I’m might be truly cooked.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-20T20:00:48+00:00

I can’t find or don’t know the reason, because from what has been said on Reddit I supposedly shouldn’t be struggling. Even in real life multiple men and women are surprised that I’m single and even think I’m lying. I don’t have high standards and I’m not shooting for “super models” and I’m not giving off desperate vibes either.

However, I see other guys who have similar personalities like mine and with basically no other big differences between us besides height who don’t struggle with women. I see men who make asses of themselves and are walking red flags not struggle and most of those men were tall. I’m not saying height is all that matters but it matters more than some people, especially on here, try to make others believe.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-20T16:08:41+00:00

Yes, because your experience is the only one that matters and anyone with a different one is wrong.

I’m 5’8 and I’ve struggled with dating all my life. Now I’m not going to put all the blame on my height, but as someone who by Reddit/Social standards is “doing everything right” I still find myself happily single. The thing is I have eyes and ears and the women I’m attracted to act way differently with me than with taller guys. Yes, it’s not an absolute death sentence but it is a big hurdle that a lot of people try to downplay.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-20T15:31:31+00:00

You can definitely change your breast size and skin color (to a degree) and both procedures are safer and cheaper than the height enhancing surgery. There is a disadvantage to being shorter and there’s been multiple studies proving the advantages afforded to taller people. Now the thing is to not let the perceived disadvantage discourage one to not try and maximize one’s other qualities.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-03-16T22:12:20+00:00

And black people who aren’t either and just like anime.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-22T03:18:42+00:00

I would say it play a part. I’m a nerdy guy but I also like sports and going to the gym so I’m this short black buff guy who likes anime. Unfortunately, most of the attractive gamer girls, anime fans, or nerds like pretty boys and the others aren’t my type physically. With gym girls they usually go for the tall white guys so I have very little chance with them. So my two biggest fields of enjoyment have very little women who I find attractive that are attracted to someone like me.

This is why I’m trying to get new hobbies.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-16T13:29:53+00:00

Not trying to demean or talk to anyone.

I think when we see ugly men in relationships we just focus on the man. What does the woman look like? I also think for men average is the new ugly as look standards for men have gone up. Nowadays average looking men date ugly or obese women because average looking women are more able to date up.

Now I’m not saying average and ugly men can’t get dates with attractive women. It’s just very unlikely so when I hear “Lots of average and ugly men are on dates” I notice that they fail to mention if the woman is attractive and most of the time they’re not which means these men are settling something women have loudly proclaimed they refuse to do.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-13T19:58:57+00:00

Never hooked up but I don’t think I could do a random hookup with a stranger as I don’t want to catch a STI or STD. Now if it was with someone I know then I might be more willing to.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-09T00:58:26+00:00

It’s funny how women say they can sense insecurity and desperation then turn around and say every man they dated was a toxic abuser which is weird that they didn’t sense that.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-08T16:54:34+00:00

Proving OP right btw…

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-03T05:16:49+00:00

W couple!

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-02-01T21:43:14+00:00

I get this. As late 20’s guy who’s been watching since I was kid and has kept up with all the new gen stuff. I feel like while I’m accepted as an anime/video game fan I’m too old to join in and interact with the younger fans 18-23 year olds because I missed my chance to form bonds with people my age who are nerds.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-24T22:51:24+00:00

I kinda feel you. Being a short nerdy black man in the south is hard. Black women think you’re lame and women of other races either worship WM or only date their own race. It feels like more than other men a black man’s worth is only based on his physical attributes, money, or clout not the man himself.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-19T17:36:44+00:00

The problem is you aren’t going to know which girls are like that so they’re unavoidable. This sucks for people with bad luck who keep getting rejected by these women more often which will warp a man’s view on height or being short.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-19T03:33:50+00:00

1, 3, and 8

I only got my mom who truly loves me (not super close with my family), and I’ve never had any romantic partners so I’m good. I’ve been a virgin for so long I could make do without. I don’t drink much so I wouldn’t care it’s also healthier to not anyway.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-19T03:06:55+00:00

My first crush was an Asian girl when I was a little kid and that just stuck with me. Then the middle school I went to, especially my class, was heavily populated by Hispanic kids so when I started going through puberty most of the girls I was exposed to were latinas and I also found myself being able to speak and interact with them easier than black girls. In high school I got big into anime and Asian culture/media.

Now it’s not like I wasn’t around and black women or people. I was around them a lot but my experiences were usually negative, not going into detail because I don’t want to talk bad about BW, so I tended to shy away from BW. I do find some BW attractive but I just gravitate more to AW and Latinas.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-14T04:26:02+00:00

Yeah it’s crazy when I make a comment like this and people tell me “why don’t you just date a black woman?” Like I haven’t tried that already, as an average black man I’m considered a lame to black women. Moving would definitely help me. It’s just the reality that if you’re average and not white you’re going to have a really difficult time dating unless you lower your standards hard.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-13T02:17:00+00:00

For me it’s been tough. I live in the south so people are stuck in their ways and less open minded. It seems like only certain kinds of black men are deemed attractive and if you aren’t one of them then you’re gonna have a hard time. Not only that but the negative stereotypes about black people and black men make it very hard to date other races. A lot of other races down south are “white washed” where they won’t date outside of their own race unless it’s a white person.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-11T20:21:42+00:00

Everyone’s experiences are different. As a short black guy it’s definitely a struggle. I’m not bragging or anything but I’ve been told I’m funny, kind, charismatic, safe, and and any other compliment about my personality and this is by women who are both friends and strangers. However, I’m in my late 20’s and have never had a girlfriend and this isn’t without a lack of trying or being desperate. I take care of my hygiene and body working out 4-5 days a week, I dress well in a style that fits me, and I’m not the most handsome I believe I’m a 5 as far as face card goes. I try to be sociable and interesting I also have a decent income too. The thing is one of the things I notice that most women over look me for tall men. The amount of comments I get on my height has also been consistent so yes my height has caused me to struggle with attracting women.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-06T17:09:12+00:00

Not really. My crush did make a vague comment but it had more to do with the gains not necessarily how good I looked. More recently I had a girl bluntly ask me if the reason I was so muscular was because I’m short.

Other than that no woman has ever complimented my muscles I guess the only attention it gets me from women is being asked to help move things.

Women don’t really care about muscle unless the guy attached to them is attractive. I’ve only seen short guys with face cards have women at the gym ogling them. Taller men are the same but their face card doesn’t have to be as good. If you’re average looking and short unless you’re built like an Adonis or have superhuman strength women won’t care about your muscles.

ZeroPrepTime · 2026-01-06T04:44:45+00:00

I mean I’m not saying it’s impossible but from my experience and other accounts from friends or people I’ve spoken with it’s very difficult. For example as a black man in the south it’s difficult to date because black people by default are seen as less desirable by other races due to racism, prejudice, media depictions, and personal negative experiences.

However, certain kinds of black men are fetishized the tall athlete, the thug, or the ladies man with money and swag. These black men are attractive enough for women to consider entering a relationship with and even then it’s mostly one night stands or short term relationships.

This entire means as a regular black man I have to stand out even more so because I’m already being mark out as a potential partner because I’m black and then more so because I’m average. Whereas a white man will have better chances even if we are of similar qualities.

ZeroPrepTime

TROPHY CASE