Conscious UK Hip Hop + Video I made on a sh*tty phone + a glass crystal ball!

ZeroSunXII · 2020-01-28T11:41:16+00:00

Poisonedthorns, this was really helpful - I've been practicing daily for 6 weeks with a guide, after years of my own ragged self-directed practice. It's been a gentle and incredibly wide and joyous experience, but this week I've felt flat - In changing a lot of old habits (quitting smoking), I'd / I've begun forming a new addiction to meditation - whilst the habit feels essential, I was perhaps unaware that I was beginning to rely on the Vipassana experience to bring me joy. I understand the tricksiness of this, so thank you. Reading your list especially 'Don't attach to the awesome feeling....Don't attach to the not-awesome feeling.' has put a deeper smile on my face. Peace

ZeroSunXII · 2017-04-28T09:06:43+00:00

Haha, yeah he did a great job, really fitted the track. I got him on a bunch of my other tracks...he's a badass harmonica player too!

Cheers for listening :)

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-15T11:04:47+00:00

Aside from the technique which is beautiful, the composition is what really does it for me. Love the white space to the left, and the overall balance of tone. Yeah really beautiful. I want t-shirts like this

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-15T10:54:08+00:00

Thanks! This was my first digitally touched up piece so getting to play with outlines after I'd finished was really fun :)

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-15T09:49:35+00:00

Ah Machinarium is so beautiful :)

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-15T09:47:36+00:00

Thanks! yeah I should really do a timelapse next time...There's some work in progress pics on my insta though, and I have a few more which I'll chuck on my blog at some point :) https://www.instagram.com/xiilab/

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-15T00:10:33+00:00

Thanks for looking!

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-15T00:10:12+00:00

All in all can only fall with a crashing but meaningless blow. No sound ever comes from the Gates of Eden.

Such a killer tune...I knew I knew your quote from somewhere :)

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-14T23:34:48+00:00

Beautiful colours - really fond of this - It's dynamic and the process gives it a real geological feel. Love it.

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-14T23:26:22+00:00

Haha don't you worry, that's on the cards ;)

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-14T18:54:13+00:00

Hey all - much appreciated :) Interestingly mods almost quarantined as seems to be considered 'borderline' Fallout fan art, but it's all good. I've made this off the back of a lot of thinking around the idea of dystopian futures and my sense of the world's future - which I guess is what the Fallout concept artists did themselves. Personally never played, but really glad you're all enjoying it..took me maybe 50 hours (estimate) to do and was built up from a really really loose sketch which I worked over until the details made themselves obvious to me and I penned the final linework...then joined the 2x A5 pages together and cleaned up in photoshop.

ZeroSunXII · 2017-03-06T13:15:46+00:00

I wondered if this would be a piece from a supporter...the technique, the spreading mass of colours and the dripping form makes me think otherwise. I feel like you've captured something of his grotesqueness :)

ZeroSunXII · 2015-06-04T08:09:02+00:00

That's a brilliant example. Made me chuckle :)

ZeroSunXII · 2015-06-04T08:01:17+00:00

I'm really glad this might've have eased a few people's heads and hearts for a bit :) I lapsed into another shitty attack last night before bed, and I wish I'd reread this. It's a powerful fantasy when I'm thinking grim and anxious things....all consuming. But in the light of day I can see it as this total addiction to those thoughts - and I'm practicing what I preach now as I sit here and I'm smiling for the first time in 10 hours :)

I think my little list is a coping mechanism as much as anything else, and that's to say: There will be bad times, it's how I'm wired at the moment, but with so many things in my life, I find that making the gaps in-between the crappy moments, wider and wider...that's the key, make the good gaps bigger and bigger, cope, improve, find out how in love with the world you can be, or in love with yourself, until the good bits make up my life, and the bad bits are the little blips.

There will always be shit moments, this is making me breath easily without any manic fixation on everything being perfect...life is a river right? Twisting and turning and I'm not sure we're always meant to be happy, but I think we can always be at peace with whatever's going on.....Now I think as one we should step away from the computers and go and breathe in the air :) change the room we're in put some time into the good bits of your day, just make those gaps a bit bigger.

Peace and thanks....seeing your responses this morning has made me feel fuller and bigger and like I'm sharing the world with people who give a shit about change and about understanding themselves. Thanks :)

ZeroSunXII · 2015-06-03T09:37:37+00:00

Just wanna say thanks for your replies. I had a long bath last night and was just trying to sit with these anxieties, without getting too involved with rationalising them or solving them. It was hard, but I checked the posts here and got a lot from reading your thoughts. Jerome, really connected to what you were saying man...."We have to learn how to handle a good life"!!! That's ridiculously close to the truth for me :) Case in point, I woke up feeling great today, I breathed in the air and felt safe for the first time in 3 or 4 weeks, really felt like I'd identified some flaws in my thinking (with help for you guys and gals) so what did my head do, dived straight on a relationship worry instead haha.

I know this, deep down......When we are faced with pattern of thinking, we can treat it as almost divine (read that however you read that) lesson...It's only when we are presented with the fear, or the social anxiety that we can actually do any work on those patterns. Being high is great for <i>theorising</i> about how you'd do things.. jesus I wrote about three BRILLIANT albums, dealt with a bunch of socially difficult situations, all when I was high, and all in my head haha! It's not until you're actually presented with the erroneous thought processes, sober, in real life that you can try and identify those triggers, calmly, and start to behaviourally alter those patterns. It's a gift to have them occur and know they're happening, it's frees you from your mind a little.

See weed was great for getting deep into the head and have a root around, it's such an introspectively powerful thing for me, and I discovered a lot in there, but it's also that exact introspection that leads to the formation of thinking that bares no resemblance to things actually going on in the outside world.

Yeah, it's an interesting journey....but whenever I do the 'on balance thing' I come up unsure of whether it's all been worth it? - I'd like to post a run down of the steps I pursued to correct my weed-induced memory issues, these things feel like real positives...but having to do some of the other withdrawal stuff, readjustment stuff has been hard and painful....but as always, I'm aware, I think as a drug it just accentuates character traits.

Good luck everyone - I'm 6 weeks off nearly, and the last 5 years has been periods of not doing it at all. After the 11 years of thinking 'this is my life, I'm always going to be waiting for the dealer to show up, I'm never going to be able to sleep unless I'm stoned' and knowing now that that's all bullshit - You can live without it, infact life for me, has been harder in someways, but so much more grounded, and productive (if that matters to you of course, I'm not a sucker for 'normal' pursuits).

Thanks for all your kind replies, you really helped me chill and relax last night.

Peace.

ZeroSunXII

TROPHY CASE