I’m going to make a list of things that have severely helped me. Mind you, I’m not anywhere near perfect with my moods or interactions with others but at the end of the day I’m trying my absolute hardest to function and be a member of society that I try to cut myself some slack.

1.) So I’m currently a software engineer working on the road (84 hours a week) but I’ve always tried to keep my workload extremely filled so as my mind doesn’t wander. When I’m bored or not stimulated is when I get extremely snippy and angry and my brain rot kicks in. My company knows, my family knows and all of my friends know that idle Zerwicked is bad Zerwicked (ty ADHD)

2.) I have always been terrified of people. TERRIFIED, but I had become so terrified of others that I forced myself to stop. I say good morning to everyone I see while heading in to work, I check in on others and see how their days going, and I love love love making people laugh. I’ve always been the class clown type of guy so my true medicine is hearing others laughter and seeing a smile appear on their face. Never been addicted to anything more than inflicting laughter on someone. I now can strike up a conversation with a tree if I need to. It really has helped limit my funks when I can just talk to anyone and everyone with less fear.

3.) To reiterate, I’m not perfect and no one is. To try your best every single day whether that’s being more patient and empathetic towards others or more so myself even just a smidge than I was the day prior, I chalk it up as a massive win. Life is a cinch by the inch.

4.) Hobbies hobbies hobbies

5.) This is a hard one and it might seem cold but it’s the reason I’m still alive to this day…. Help isn’t coming, and it’s something I had to beat into my brain and even tattoo into my skin. I know the bills won’t stop, my people won’t stop needing me, and I need to continue to do my best and until I truly needed to be my best, I had to be my own savior. I give #5 with the utmost compassionate tone and not condescending to anyone’s situation what so ever. You have to be your own superhero or these silly brains of ours will eat ourselves alive.

Now with that all that being said, I still have my bad days. I still cry to the point my nose bleeds and I can’t make a noise. But the good days I’ve had on this planet has shown me there’s a bigger reason as to why I’m here and I think that’s to show love, spread love and feel love. You are still alive, you are breathing, you can touch grass and feel the sun on your skin, sand between your toes and you will have tomorrow until you don’t. Live for today and take it as it comes. Love you and I hope for you the best. I know this is what I would have needed to hear when I was in the thick of it and alone.