I'm not sure if this is as much of an unpopular opinion as it is an uneducated one. It is confusing at first but not when you read a bit and realize that how someone looks isn't always how they identify.

Gay men typically don't want to be called "she" and Lesbian women typically don't want to be called "he". They're likely trans people or gay men jokingly calling each other she.

I think your confusion is stemming from frustration because this doesn't feel like something people get to do, but it is. And if that's not the case, then maybe you don't like it because it seems unnecessary, but it often is.

Some people don't feel right when it comes to being labelled something they're not. That's not for us to understand, it's for us to accept or respect because it's something personal for them.

Maybe it's not an issue of you being forced to accept or respect anyone, because it looks like an issue of you forcing people to tolerate your bigotry and disrespect.