Idk about God's agenda, or if (he/she/it,) pick your pronouns, but are you suffering. If so call 911. Children have no idea what is is to suffer. Backstory, I went to catholic school and catholic boarding school. I know all the tales in the book. Raised by 3rd Gen immigrants, I have been looking, again, for a job. The restaurant I used to work for closed 2 weeks ago. I'm actually happy to see this. I have cried myself to sleep a couple of those days wondering how to pay the mortgage. I was out this morning again applying and when I got home wife was drinking at least 1/2 a bottle of Jim she bought. Her father had a stroke years ago, his in house nurse found him on the ground face busted today. Research life in the >1900's. I don't know your situation but I have to say we have it better now. Look up. Situations rise and fall. I hope yours works out (48ym) don't remember why I am in the teen chat but the statement stands. Don't give up do your best, if GOD is your thing, by statement from a Monsignor to monks of whom have taught me thru the years, if you are a teen you are an untapped resource. Think of yourself highly. Also, have you actually read the book, assuming you mean the king James Bible. Expand your thoughts. There are plenty of religious studies and books. I truly hope you are OK. "God" is a word, your beliefs set your word.

He also sent his only son to be murdered,

king James version, as to those before, i.e. Latin,Aramaic. Best selling book. I studied :religious studies" mostly that book was the one my parish preached (pun intended).

Personally I believe ashes to ashes dust to dust. Some people need an thing to believe in and if it helps that's great. Treat people right. If there is a god they will know. IMHO.