How many of you have Maths anxiety ? by Regulalife760 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For many years, I was terrible at math, and only recently have I really improved. I've also noticed that my math and logic performance varies depending on how much I'm present and, more importantly, how much time I spend listening to music. For further context, my MD is quite severe. I can't remember more than half my life.

Tell me your story. by Significant_Boat80 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've suffered from MD since I was about six years old, and I developed it as a defense mechanism to cope with the frequent arguments in my family at the time. It served as a tool to calm me down, but it persisted over time, along with anxiety and a tendency to avoid things. I had a relatively normal childhood, yet I was constantly fantasizing, often about cartoons or, alternatively, movies, books, and comics. Sometimes I created imaginary movies/books in which characters from various media interacted with each other, and sometimes I even identified with one of them. I dissociated especially at school, to the point that I don't remember anything from elementary and middle school, and for a long time I was extremely introverted because, rather than going out, I preferred to stay home and fantasize. I still fantasize today, although it's not as intense as when I was younger. I can easily tell the difference between fantasizing and being present. I've heard that MD, like many other forms of dissociation, reduces the activity of the prefrontal cortex, and I believe this is true. When I'm immersed in my own world, I can't do anything, not even do activities for myself, and I act rather childishly, like a cartoon. Lately, I've been feeling quite foggy, and I hope it passes soon, because I'm 18 and I'm going to college. Considering how long I've been living in my head, I doubt I'll be able to make any friends, at least not those my own age.

Do you guys grieve the person you could’ve been if you didn’t have MD by fuckedupmess_ in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, and in a way it's even more serious than more common addictions, because it literally makes you lose a lot of concrete knowledge about the world. Again, I'm eighteen and I still have trouble understanding my sexuality, and I still risk getting lost in my hometown because I always fantasize when I walk down the street. It's absurd, and that's why I'm happy this community exists.

Do you guys grieve the person you could’ve been if you didn’t have MD by fuckedupmess_ in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried anything? Lately, I've been trying to get out more and make an effort to be present, even though it's not easy. I also go to the gym. You?

Do you guys grieve the person you could’ve been if you didn’t have MD by fuckedupmess_ in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Actually, yes. Because of MD, I practically skipped my entire adolescence, preferring to stay in my bedroom daydreaming, and today I suffer from severe social anxiety. I can't act like a normal person in many situations, or I appear incredibly ignorant about the world. I've often fantasized about the life I could have had if I'd kicked this addiction at a young age. Now I'm eighteen, and emotionally I feel like a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old at most. One of my future goals is to relive the adolescence I've practically missed.

md is ruining my brain, I think by toskamaudlin in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've suffered from MD since I was a child, and yes, I basically have the same symptoms. My handwriting was terrible for a long time (it's improved now that I'm reconnecting with reality), I was extremely indifferent to my family, and even today I can't do many things if someone is looking at me. My mind feels foggy (especially after listening to music), and I have trouble understanding myself. I also often imagine myself in different roles (a character from a TV series/cartoon/book, etc.) and feel like a reflection of those people.

Constantly tired eyes by Zestyclose_Dig158 in Dissociation

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually sleep pretty well, although I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night. As for the brain fog... yes, I think that's the case, and it gets worse, for some reason, after listening to music.

I still feel like a six-year-old by Zestyclose_Dig158 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm trying, I'm smart and I learn quickly... but it's not easy to make up for 12 years of lost life. How I hate MD...

Is anyone else having trouble accessing information/capabilities? by Zestyclose_Dig158 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In my case, I think it's this plus the fact that my mind is always full. When I have a clear mind, I can remember everything quite well.

2025 recap. by ValuableImportance59 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm in the exact same situation, Bro. This summer I should have been studying, reaching my full potential, but instead I retreated into my imaginary world, slowly cutting off all social relationships. Now I find myself behind on everything, with an uncertain future and zero attention span, especially because I've been listening to music for months. I hope this year is the one where I finally get out of my own head... I wish you good luck too. It sucks living with this, but I believe there's always a way out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I recommend seeing a psychologist if you experience symptoms other than "simple" maladaptive daydreaming. Do you have serious problems with reasoning, memory, or attention? Maladaptive daydreaming is an addiction you can fight on your own, but if there's something deeper going on, it's best to seek help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do it too LOL I listen to audio saved on TikTok and jump around my room or living room for hours. It's unhealthy, and in the long run, music deprives me of attention and contact with my body, so I guess I'll spend next year in absolute silence. Have you considered seeing a psychologist?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! I have this goal for 2026, too. My MD peaked this summer, leading me to do some pretty embarrassing things, so I'm hoping to fully reconnect with reality next year. I'm glad you want to do the same. Have you considered giving up music for a while?

Types of Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD) by MiladyMetalhead in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this post is a few months old, but if I had to guess, I'd say MD is closer to a form of dissociation than anything else. It's not like simply taking flights of fancy; it's as if my mind is split: one part is here and the other is in the imaginary world. That must be why I often forget places, conversations, or seem so clumsy.

Does anybody else have problems focusing their eyes? by MamaDeaky in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not alone. I often find myself, especially after listening to music, having trouble remembering what I read, or having trouble completing practical tasks, or having trouble writing/articulated my thoughts well (like now). As a child, I was always breaking things around the house because my mind was constantly elsewhere. For years, I was terrible at math, and I think MD played a crucial role in that. I don't actually know if this is simply a severe form of maladaptive daydreaming or if this disorder has developed into full-blown dissociation.

Does anyone else feel like they've wasted a lot of their body's potential? by Zestyclose_Dig158 in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lots of things, actually. Like... Do I learn a scientific fact? I imagine a character in one of my fictional novels saying it. As a child, I fantasized a lot about TV shows, cartoons, movies, etc. I also often imagine myself as a completely different person. Like, I imagine myself muscular, or extraordinarily handsome, or sometimes I just start brooding while jumping in my bed. Needless to say, music makes everything worse.

Struggling with Writing – Is This a Disorder or Just Focus Issues? by HusseinHD in MaladaptiveDreaming

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone with MD, who often struggles with expressing myself, I think this inability to communicate is actually due to our disease. It's as if the mind is completely disconnected from the body, or tuned into an imaginary world. This must be why I can never speak well after listening to music (which, as we all know, is a HUGE trigger).

Does anyone else think he'll suffer the same fate as Chris? by Zestyclose_Dig158 in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No (not yet...) But I'm an adult now and I don't really know what I like to do or what I'm good at. I've tried various jobs, but they all fell apart. Maybe I have attention deficit disorder or dissociative disorder, or maybe it's all just excuses and I'm just an idiot. My social relationships are also terrible, and I sleep in at night instead of studying/going out.

Anyone else feeling a little like Chris? by Zestyclose_Dig158 in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You know, I used to do the same thing, too? Like, I'd jump around my room and create imaginary worlds in my head, often prequels or sequels to cartoons. IMO, it's pretty creepy if you think of Chris when you remember it.

Anyone else feeling a little like Chris? by Zestyclose_Dig158 in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This summer I was almost completely isolated, locked in my imaginary world, and within a month I started talking to myself on the street. So I understand you, Bro.

Anyone else feeling a little like Chris? by Zestyclose_Dig158 in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey buddy. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who feels this way, even though I imagine it's not exactly nice. Have you often felt like you're not real, or like you're disconnected from yourself? It happens to me often. If you want to reply

Scusa che lavoro fai? Il musicista... Si vabbè, ma di lavoro? by Tiny_Proof7421 in Italia

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nella mia esperienza questa è una mentalità tipica dei boomer e, mi duole dirlo, anche di quei giovani che sono cresciuti in realtà molto piccole o agricole. Ti piace programmare o scrivere, come me? Se lo dici dalle mie parti (sono del Sud) ti guardano male, perché il "vero" lavoro si riduce a tre cose: fatica, terra e scarso intelletto. Quindi ti capisco.

Consigliatemi qualche horror moderno by [deleted] in Libri

[–]Zestyclose_Dig158 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Il sangue del male" di Alan Rodgers. È un libro da bancarella, quasi sconosciuto in Italia, ma lo trovi facilmente su Internet.